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CHARACTER TOUR

Organization

Ed Young

February 23, 2003

When I say the word “organization,” what jumps into your mind?  Some of you are saying, “Yes, organization!  That’s the way life should be lived. It should be systemized, prioritized, and compartmentalized.  I love organization.  I am all about order.  I am all over that.”  Some of you are not saying “Yes.”  Some of you are saying, “What a whip!  Organization?!  I don’t like anything that’s orderly.  I’m a random-type person.  I fly by the seat of my pants. Off the hook—that’s just me.  That’s just the way I am wired.”

I am in a series called “Character Tour.”  We have been touring great characters who exemplify great character.  We have been studying a lot about character qualities.  Today, we study a guy who is no stranger to any of us here.  His name is Moses.  Moses had a bout with organization.  He had a tough time with it.

Maybe you, too, are facing organization frustration.  Maybe you are facing some tough times with order.  Maybe you feel like you are unorganized.  Maybe you feel like your life is in disarray when your house is wreck, when your car is messy and when you are hydroplaning over certain relationships and stuff like that.  We all kind of feel that way now and then.

If you think about it, though, our loving and transcendent God is a God of order.  God is not capricious or chaotic.  He is together.  He is right there.  The creation screams of his organization.  God gave us a workweek.  He worked for six days.  On the seventh day, he rested.  Consider the trinity: God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit—three in one and one in three.  They work in perfect organization with one another.

When God talked to our man, Moses, on Mount Sinai, he didn’t just give him some random suggestions.  He didn’t say, “Moses, forget the whole ‘Ten Commandments’ thing.  Just jot down these few notes.”  No, God said, “Here are the Ten Commandments.”  There is order in the commandments.

In Matthew 6 the disciples asked, “Jesus, how do we pray?  How do we talk to the Father?”  What did Jesus say?  “Well, just whatever comes to your mind?”  He didn’t say that.  He said, “Pray like this.”  And then he gave us The Lord’s Prayer.

The Bible says that we are made in the image of God.  Isn’t that cool?  We are made in the image of God.  Thus, we scream, we yearn, for order and organization.  Everything we see, do, or come into contact with reflects the nature and character of God.  Thus, everything reflects order.  Even our bodies are organized—our skeletal systems, our muscular systems, and our respiratory systems—all these are organized.

Whenever you talk about organization and order, you have people in different camps.  I want you to think for a second of this stage as a giant continuum.  We have some people on this side of the continuum.  [Ed runs to one side of the stage]  On this extreme, even though you won’t admit it, you are overdosing on organization.  Everything has got to be chop-chop.  Everything has to be compartmentalized.  Everything has got to be organized.  You are so organized that it can often incarcerate you.  It can imprison you.  You don’t realize it, but maybe you are OD’ing on organization and it is messing up your relationships—with your friends, spouse, or children.  Maybe it’s even hurting your connection with the Lord.  We have some who are in this camp.  You are on one end, one side, one extreme of the continuum.

Now, on the other end, we have some here who don’t OD on organization.  Some of you have gone organizationally overboard.  It’s just, “Who cares?  Organization?  That’s a joke!  I’m just random.  I’m just off the hook.  That’s just me.  That’s just the way I am wired.”  Maybe you are so into this that you tend to worship your randomness.  You don’t realize it, but your “fly by the seat of your pants” mentality is wearing people out.  It’s wearing out your spouse, your friends, and people at the office.

Maybe you are missing what God has for you because of this overboard mentality.  Think about a baseball bat, a golf club, or a tennis racket.  For those instruments to work correctly, you have got to hit the ball, or strike the object, in the sweet spot.  Today, we are after the organizational sweet spot—right in the middle.  We want the kind of balance that God desires for us, the kind of balance that our boy, Moses, was trying to discover.  That’s why I love the Bible so much. The Bible not only talks about a character’s strengths, it also talks about a character’s weaknesses as well.  I can identify with that, can’t you?  I can identify with their weaknesses.  That’s why I love the word of God.

Have you ever gone through organization frustration before?  I have.  The first time I ever remember going through organization frustration in my marriage occurred 20 years ago while Lisa and I were planning our first vacation as a married couple.  Now, my family did not plan for vacations.  We would decide to go on a trip maybe the day before we left.  Mom and Dad would say, “Yes, let’s leave around 9:00.”  But we knew we wouldn’t leave at nine.  We would end up leaving around 5:00.  We would still be packing at nine.  We had no idea where we were going, where we would stop, or what restaurants we would eat at.  We just drove around.  That’s the way we did it.

Lisa’s family, on the other hand, you talk about organized?  Her dad would get the AAA road maps out and highlight the route months in advance.  He would know where they would stop and what they would eat.  He even knew how long they would stay at a particular tourist attraction.  As you can imagine, when we planned our first vacation, we had organization frustration.

Moses dealt with organization frustration.  If you have ever dealt with it, you are in great company.  Big Mo dealt with it.  Whenever I talk to you about organization, I want you to remember what organization is.  This is very important.  It’s key if we are going to hit the sweet spot.  Organization is a decision based on a process.  Let’s say that together… organization is a decision based on a process.  Let’s look at a four-word process of order and organization through Moses’ life.

If you are taking notes, the first word I want you to write down is the word “realize.”  Moses realized that he needed some serious help.  We all have to realize that.  I need some help in my own life organizationally.  If we are going to be honest here, so do you.  We need help.  Realize that.   That’s what Moses did.

Let’s turn our Bibles to Exodus 18:13-16.  Moses was experiencing organization frustration.  He was trying to lead two million Jews to the Promise Land.  He was God’s man of the hour, but he was messed up organizationally.  Look at Verse 13, “The next day, Moses took his seat to serve as judge for the people.  They stood around him from morning until evening.  When his father-in-law (His father-in-law was Jethro) saw all that Moses was doing for the people (see he wasn’t doing it for God, he was doing it for the people), he said, ‘Moses, what is this you are doing for all these people?  Why do you alone sit as judge, while all these people stand around you from morning till evening?’”  What and why?  “Moses, what are you doing and why are you doing it?”

Jethro was the first management consultant, wasn’t he?  “What are you doing and why are you doing it?”  That’s a good question to ask ourselves.  What are you doing in life and why are you doing it?  What are you doing in your relationships and why are you doing it?  What are you doing in your marriage and why are you doing it?  What are you doing in your life as you follow Christ and why are you doing it?  What are you doing in your career and why are you doing it?

Jethro spoke truth.  Jethro got close to Moses.  He got right up in his kitchen.  He could smell his cologne and he began to confront him and talk to God’s man.  The plot clots.  He said, “Why do you alone sit as judge while all these people stand around you from morning ‘til evening?”  Moses, you are wasting time, man.  What are you thinking about?  Moses answered him in Verse 15.  Does this sound great?  “Because the people come to me.”  They come to me.  “Whenever they have a dispute, it’s brought to me and I decide between the parties and inform them of God’s decrees and laws.”

Moses basically said, “I’m the only one who can do it.  I am Moses and no one else can do it but me.  You see, I am a perfectionist, and I have got to do it.  I’m Moses.  I’m God’s man and I am it.  I was brought up in Egyptian royalty and God chose me to go into Pharaoh’s office and say, ‘Let my people go.’  I was part of the Red Sea parting and all these other miracles.  I’ve got to do it.”  Isn’t it easy for all of us to fall into that trap?  “I’m the only one who can do it.”

What happens is that we begin to get out of our areas of giftedness and effectiveness, and we begin to hydroplane.  Then we have a Moses-type mess on our hands.

What was going on here?  Moses was dealing with two groups or organizational intruders that we all deal with.  The first intruders that he was dealing with were the minute muggers.  There are 1,440 minutes in every day.  The minute muggers just mug our minutes.  Time is a gift.  You cannot put a price tag on time.  God has bestowed us a certain amount of time.  He wants us to be good stewards, good managers, of our time.  Have you ever looked back on your day and said, “Man, where did the time go?  Where did my morning go?  Where did my afternoon go?  I needed to do this or that, but I didn’t do this or that because those minute muggers whacked me over the head.  I was messing around here and there and didn’t really do anything that I should do.”  Minute muggers are real.  They are organizational intruders.

There’s another group of organizational intruders that Moses dealt with—priority prowlers.  We deal with them as well.   Priority prowlers sneak around.  It’s all about priorities.  We don’t have to pray about our priorities.  Don’t waste your time or God’s.  Don’t say, “Lord, show me your priorities.”  The priorities are here.  They are in the Bible.

God is to be the number one priority in life.  If we are married, then our spouse is to be number two.  Our children are to be number three.  Our spouses should come before our children.  I know that might shock a lot of you.  It doesn’t say children, then spouse; it’s spouse and then children.  Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church.”  That’s a great thing you do for your spouse, but it’s also a great thing you do for your children.  Our priorities are set in stone.  What was Moses supposed to do?  What did it mean for him to put the ball through the net?  Very simply, he was to lead two million Jews.  He was the man.  He was the vision-caster.  He was the point person.  That was it.  He was so messed up by all these minute muggers and priority prowlers that he missed God’s best for his life.

I’m talking to the wife here who spends hours on the phone talking to her friends, trying to help and counsel them.  I’m talking to the wife who spends all her time emailing her friends back and forth.  Then when she sees her husband, she gives him leftovers.  And I’m not just talking about food.  I’m talking about trading in greatness for goodness.  That’s how the evil one works.  He wants you and me to trade in greatness for goodness. He wants us to trade in the sweet spot for a cheap racket, a cracked baseball bat, or a golf club that’s bent and warped.  That’s what he wants.

I’m talking to the husband here who pours all of his energy and all of his innovation into the marketplace.  Then when he sees his spouse and kids, he communicates in one-word sound bites, “Yeah…No…ESPN…CNN…

Goodnight.”

The first word is realize.  Realize you need help.  Realize you have a problem.  Moses began to realize it.  He began to wake up and smell the espresso.  Speaking of espresso.  We are beginning a brand new series in March called “Espresso Yourself.”  I cannot wait to go through that.  We are going to talk about how to express ourselves.  Most of us don’t know how to express ourselves.  I meet people all the time who don’t know what the Bible says about expressing yourself to others.  I get excited about it, so I will just dial down and go back to this message.  That was a quick sidebar.

Realize your problem.  That’s the first part of the process.  The second part of the process is “criticize.”  Criticize yourself.  Sometimes I just criticize Ed.  I just rip Ed apart.  Not in a mean way, but I just criticize myself.  It’s good to do that.  Also, open yourselves up to constructive criticism.  When I say constructive criticism, I’m not saying that gives all of us carte blanche opportunities just to criticize anyone we see.  I’ve got to earn the right to constructively criticize you.  I’ve got to know you, and you’ve got to know that I have your best interest in mind.  The same is true as you look at my life.  We have to open ourselves up to this constructive criticism if we are going to achieve that sweet spot; that greatness that God wants.  Can you believe that Moses’ father-in-law was constructively criticizing him?

Check out what Exodus 18:17-19 says: Moses father-in-law replied, “What you are doing is not good.  You and these people who come to you are just wearing yourself out.  The work is too heavy for you.   You can’t handle it alone.  Listen now to me and I will give you some advice and may God be with you.”

Last time I checked the stats on death are pretty overwhelming; 1 out of 1 dies.  It’s going to happen.  We all have an appointment with death that we can’t put off.  We are one blood clot, one germ, or one drunk driver away from meeting our Maker.  The Bible says that we will spend eternity in one of two places.  When we meet God after death, though, God is going to do a time audit of your life and mine.  He will.  We will have to give an account of how we stewarded this time stuff.  Will we say, “God, I did a good job.  I traded in goodness for greatness.”  Or will we say, “God, those minute muggers and those priority prowlers were all over me.  I knew my priorities, but I got so involved in the superfluous stuff, that I didn’t really do what you wanted me to do.”  That’s something to think about.  It’s kind of scary, isn’t it?  We’ve got to criticize ourselves and open ourselves up to constructive criticism.

But here’s what happens when someone who loves us begins to criticize us or point out areas in our lives.  Usually we go, “I’m out of here!” [Ed makes a running sound]  We run and we only hang around people who agree with everything we say.  That’s a whole other deal.  Obviously, Moses didn’t.

Let’s talk about the third part of this process. The third word that we have got to download is “minimize.”  I’m talking about organization now.  See the progression?  First, we realize there is a problem.  Then, we criticize ourselves and open ourselves up to criticism.  Then we minimize our responsibilities.  We minimize our tasks.  What are you not doing today that you were doing a year ago?  I want you to tell me what you are not doing, because what you are not doing is as important as what you are doing.  Great difference makers are great eliminators.  So, I have got to constantly eliminate from my life.  Tell me what you are not doing in your marriage today that you were doing a year ago   Tell me what you are not doing at work today that you were doing a year ago.  Then I’ll tell you that what you are not doing now is making you more effective than you were a year ago.

We have got to learn how to say, “No.”  Great people, sweet-spots people, say about fifteen “no’s” to every “yes.”  We should say, “No,” because of a giant “Yes” behind it.  That’s exactly what Jethro was talking to Moses about.  Moses was trying to do it all.   He was trying to handle every case, every situation, and he was wearing himself out.  Look at Exodus 18:19-23, Jethro said, “You must be the people’s representative before God and bring their disputes to him.”  He was saying, “Come on, Moses, teach them the decrees and laws.  Share it.  Share the love.  Show them the way to live and the duties to perform.”

Check out Verse 21, “But select capable men from all the people—men who fear God.”  Moses is probably saying, “Well, I’m the only one who can do it.  I’m the best.”  But Jethro said, “Select capable men—men who fear God, trustworthy men who hate dishonest gain—and appoint them as officials over thousands, hundreds, fifties, and tens.”

That verse reminds me of when we started Fellowship Church thirteen years ago.  I was the first paid staff member.  We had 150 people in the church.  I remember when the first phone was hooked up.  I remember when we bought our first used typewriter.  Yes, we had a typewriter.  That shows you how long ago that was.  We sat in a room one day with ten people at Fellowship Church—kind of a little team setting.  Owen Goff looked at me and said, as only Owen can, “Pastor, listen.  How are we going to reach this community when you are the only paid staff member?  You are the only pastor we have.”  I thought about that for a second and said, “Owen that is a great question, man.  That’s very insightful.  God is going to have to do this deal.  It’s going to be a God thing.  But Owen, here is what I am going to do as a leader.  You men and women in this room are going to be the staff.  We can’t pay you, but you are going to be the staff.”  Take a wild guess at where those people are today.  Most of those people who were in that room are the paid staff members of Fellowship Church today.  If it’s worth doing, it’s worth delegating.

I discovered a long time ago, there are only a couple of things that Ed Young can do well—only a couple of things.  That’s about it for me.  I’m limited, and so are you.  I can communicate and I can lead.  Those are my best two gifts.  Take Owen Goff, for example.  Owen Goff is gifted at counseling.  It just puts wind in his sail.  He loves to talk, and he is gifted at dealing with people and their problems.  I am a horrible counselor.  You don’t want to talk to me about a problem or counseling.  It’s just not my deal.

Owen loves to go to the hospital and visit sick people.  He loves it.  It fires him up.  He’s great at it.  If you are sick, you want Owen to come see you in hospital.  You don’t want me.  I don’t know where to sit or what to say.  It’s just not me.  On the other hand, Owen can’t preach a lick.  He’ll tell you that.  I can’t counsel a lick.  He’ll tell you that.  Owen is not wired to lead this church.  I’m not wired to visit in the hospital.  That’s a good thing.  What do you do?  What are those things that only you can do that will put the ball through the net for you in your corporation, in your marriage, or with your children?  I don’t know.  Those are deep questions.  Let’s keep reading.

Jethro is speaking some truth here, isn’t he?  “Have them serve as judges for the people at all times, but have them bring every difficult case to you. The simple cases they can decide themselves.”  Jethro is saying, “That will make your load lighter”—isn’t that cool?—“Because they will share it with you.”  Verse 23 says, “If you do this, as God so commands, you will be able to stand the strain and all these people will go home satisfied.”

Here is the principle: the less you do, the more you will accomplish.  Less is more.  The less you do, the more you will accomplish.  Moses was trying to do it all.  Jethro said, “Don’t try to do it all.  Delegate.  Do only what you can do.  The less you do, the more you will accomplish, and the more you will operate in the sweet spot.  You won’t be on this extreme or that extreme.  You will be effective.  You will turn into greatness because of God’s grace.  Don’t exchange greatness for goodness.”

Think about the temptations of Christ.  They were all about his life’s purpose.  What was going on when Jesus went one on one with the evil one?  The evil one was simply trying to get Jesus to exchange greatness for goodness.  What was greatness for Jesus?  It was living a perfect life and dying a sacrificial death on the cross.  That was it. Jesus knew the score.  He knew the word.  Every time the evil one tempted him, Jesus came back with God’s word.

Look at Luke 18.  Jesus was on his final walk through Jericho on his way to Jerusalem.  He knew that he was going to die on the cross.  He knew all that.  He told his disciples that but they just couldn’t get it.  They couldn’t download it.  It was beyond their comprehension.  As you read about him in Luke 18:38, walking along the outskirts of Jericho, a blind beggar began to scream, “Jesus have mercy on me.  Jesus save me.  Jesus heal me.”  Do you know what some of Jesus’ handlers did?  They stopped and said, “Shhh.  Be quiet.  Quiet that guy.  He doesn’t have time for that.  We’ve got to get him to Jerusalem for the Passover.  Jesus doesn’t have enough time for that.”  But what did Jesus do?  He stopped and he healed the man.  Jesus was always measuring everything against his mission.

If you keep reading through Luke 18, he walked into Jericho and he saw that little dude hanging from the limb in the tree.  You know, Zacchaeus, the guy with the poor vertical jump.  Everybody was crowded around and he couldn’t jump high enough to see Jesus, so he climbed a tree.  Jesus stopped and looked at Zacchaeus.  I’m sure the crowd thought, “Oh, no, what is he doing?  Zacchaeus?  What a crook!  He’s a Jew working for the Roman government and is making money off of us.  He is horrible.  He is a criminal.”  Jesus said, “Zacchaeus, I’m coming to your house.”  They had the first power lunch, and when Zacchaeus left, he was a changed man.

Jesus came to save us.  But he also came to heal and to save the lost, the downtrodden, those who were broke, busted, and disgusted.  We’ve got to realize.  We’ve got to criticize.  We’ve got to minimize.

There is another word that we need to know.  We have got to “actualize.”  We’ve got to actualize our priorities: the most important stuff.  Look at Exodus 18:24, “Moses listened to his father-in-law and did everything he said.”  Moses began to operate in that sweet spot.

How do we take organization and bring it down to where we live?  Number one, you must know your non-negotiables.  Your non-negotiables are your priorities.  Your priorities are mentioned in the Bible.  Jesus said in Matthew 6, “Seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness and all these things will be added to you.”  Every time you make a choice relationally, vocationally, spiritually, or otherwise, you should always run it by God first.  Run it through that God grid.  I’m seeking God first.  I’m doing what God says first.  I know that is the purpose-driven way to live.  It’s seeking God, going after God, first.  That’s the thing I’ve got to do.

How many of you have gone on a diet in this brand new year of 2003?  If you have gone on a diet already, lift you hands.  Don’t be shy.  When you are on a diet, what do you do?  You say “yes” to the good stuff.  You say “yes” to chicken and fish; you say “yes” to vegetables and fruits.  You say “no” to Krispy Kreme.  What a temptation!  You say no to those Dairy Queen chocolate malts.  You say no to Whataburger.  You say no to stuff that will cause flab and that will clog your arteries.

We have got to say “yes” to the best.  We have got to say “yes” to the same things that Christ would.  We don’t want to say “yes” to the things that we should say “no” to, and vice versa.  If we do that, then we end up with a bunch of flab, and our spiritual arteries become blocked.  And that is not a good thing.  I’m going to challenge you to go on a time diet.  I’m going to challenge you to say “yes” to the best and say “no” to the stuff that messes you up.  I’m challenging you to say “no” to the stuff that does not cause you to put the ball through the net.  So, know your non-negotiables.

There is something else you need to know.  Know your rhythms.  I made a mistake a couple of years ago.  I bought my kids a set of drums for Christmas—just some cheap drums.  Yes, the kids like to play them.  But the wild thing is that when my friends come over, none of them can walk past the drum set without seeing if they have the rhythm.  We all have rhythm, and it’s unique.  What’s your rhythm?  Maybe your rhythm is best in the morning.  Maybe it’s best in the evening.  You have got to do the hard stuff, the most important stuff, when you are at your best.  You are to put your most offensive energy in those areas, in those time zones.  Put your energy where you feel it; where the wind is at your back.  Then do the easier stuff when your energy level wanes.  Know your rhythms. That’s why 1 Corinthians 14:40 says, “But everything should be done in a fitting and orderly way.”

Why do we have so much disorder?  Why do we have so much chaos?  Why is our world spinning out of control?  It’s very simple.  It’s a sin problem because we have bought into the lie of the world and the world is all about disorder.  But the world says, “No, this will really put order in your life.  Follow this and change this.  This is really going to give you order.”  Once we jump into it, we think, “Oh, yes, my life is orderly.”  But then, all of a sudden, we look back and we go, “Whoa!  I’m in disorder.”

That’s why there is one more thing we need to know.  Spontaneity and creativity emerge from organization.  They emerge from organization.  God is a God of order.  Think about the creation.  It’s orderly, and creativity emerges from that.

People ask me often, “Ed, do you memorize your messages?”  I say, “Yes, I sort of do.  I know what I am going to say.  I spend a lot of hours on it.  I spend about ten to twelve hours by myself on it, and about ten to twelve hours with the group.  I pretty much have it down.”  I’ve discovered that true creativity emerges from order.  When I feel the Holy Spirit prompting me to chase a rabbit or go off the cuff during a message, I can do that with freedom because I can always go back to the order of the talk.  The same is true in every slice of your life.

We can clap our hands and go, “This is pretty interesting.  I like the way it rhymes:  realize, criticize, minimize, and actualize.  I guess that’s it, Ed.  That’s the process.  That’s cute.  Nice.  Four words about organization.  That’s cool.”

I have left a major point out of the message.  I had you repeat something earlier: organization is a decision followed by a process.  I talked to you about the process, but that process is a pipe dream if you have not made the decision.  There is no way you can have true order in your life until you have made the decision.  What does the Bible say?  The Bible says that we are in a state of disorder, spiritual disorder, caused by our sin.  The Bible says our sin separates us from God.  It causes a giant cosmic chasm between our holy God and us.  God can’t even look at disorder.  He can’t look at sin in your life or mine.  He’s holy.  He’s perfect.  His standards are pristine.  If you are trying to get to heaven by being a nice guy, by keeping your nose clean, and paying your taxes, then you are not going to make it.

Here’s what God did.  God could have bolted, but here is what God did.  God, being a God of order, set forth a brilliant plan.  He sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for our sins.  Jesus was a man of perfect order.  He died for our disorder.  We don’t deserve it.  Jesus did it, though, and Jesus rose again.  God says, “If you (you and me as human beings) bow the knee and turn to Christ and ask Jesus to reorder our world, to make a home in our heart, then our lives are reordered and we have order—this character quality from the inside out.”

Character is an outward reflection of an inward connection.  So, everything I said is fine and dandy, but until you have made the decision, there is no way you will ever have order.  A baseball bat, a tennis racket, and a golf club—for those things to work effectively, you have got to hit the object, the ball, in the sweet spot.  God wants you and me to live in the sweet spot.  It’s all about organization.  Organization is decision followed by a process.  Have you made the decision?  Where are you in the process?

GET YOUR FEAR IN GEAR

The Fear of Generosity

Ed Young

December 7, 2002

I want to talk to you about a fear that many of you would say, at first glance, is not about you.  In fact, if I told you what this fear is, most people would say, “Ed, that’s not where I live.  You’ve got the wrong person.  You’re wasting time going there with me, because the fear you are talking about is out there.  Other people might have it, but I don’t deal with it.”

I’m going to show you, today, a fear that I think is one of the most towering fears that we deal with.  I think many of you will agree that you do deal with it.  I know it’s something I have dealt with.  So, here it goes.  I’m going to say it to you right now.  I’m going to tell you what the fear is.  I’m going to label it, identify it, and call it what it is.  Most of the people hearing my voice right now fear generosity.

“Generosity?  Ed, I don’t fear generosity.  I’m a guy who gives.  I’ve given clothes to the clothing drive and non-perishable items to the food drive.  I pick up the tab occasionally at restaurant and even throw a couple of dollar bills in the offering plate when it comes by.  I mean, I give.”

I know you give.  We all give.  I’m not talking about giving.  I’m talking about generosity.  My parents told me, a while back, that one of the first words I ever learned was the word “mine.”  They said I was crawling around my crib saying, “Mine.  Mine.  Mine!”  It was probably one of your first words, too.  It’s as though we never get over that word.  Decades later, we are still crawling around our cribs, our homes, saying, “Mine!”  We are just humming the “mine mantra.”

Are you a generous person?  The Bible says 2 Corinthians 8, “But just as you excel in everything — in faith, in speech, in knowledge, in complete earnestness and in your love for us — see that you also excel in this grace of giving.”

To excel at something means to go above and beyond something.  God wants us to excel, to go above and beyond giving.  When we go above and beyond giving, that equals generosity.  We will see over and above, over and beyond giving is all about where God wants us to live.

The question then that begs to be answered goes something like this.  “How should I be generous?  Where should I be generous?  What should I be generous with?  Tell me about that.”

Right up front, the Bible says that we are to be generous with our time.  Time generosity is talked about throughout scripture.  We have a certain amount of time.  We are to be generous with our time.  We are to be generous in our time with God.  God says we should read his word regularly, talk to him in prayer regularly, and allocate time to keep that appointment with God, daily.  There is no way we will know how to live or how to do life if we are not talking to the one who is the author of life and time.

The Bible also says, as we talked about in this last series, that we are to spend time with our spouse.   That’s right.  If you are married, the marriage is the primary relationship in the family unit.  It’s not the parent/child thing.  It’s the spouse thing.  We are to spend time on a regular weekly date night.  We are to spend time connecting.  We are to spend time in intimacy with one another.

We are also to spend time with our children.  Children are a gift from God.  We are to spend quality and quantity time with them.

We are to spend time, scripture says, in worship.

Hebrews 10:25 says, and I am paraphrasing here, “Don’t diss God or turn your back on the church.  Do not forsake the gathering together of believers in corporate worship.”

So, we are to spend time regularly, at least weekly, come together, rub shoulders with others, and express our love and gratitude to God.  Time and generosity go together.  We are to give over and above concerning time to God, to our spouse, to our children and to the church.

We are also to be about talent generosity.  I know this might shock a lot of you, but scripture says over and over again that we are unique, that we are made in the image of God, and that we have unique talents and characteristics about us.  In other words, I have gifts that you don’t have and you have gifts that I don’t have.  That’s a good thing.  We use those gifts in a number of ways.  We use the gifts in the marketplace.  God has given us the gift of work.  Do you realize that God gave man the ability to work before sin ever entered the equation of life?  We are using our talents to work.

We also should use our talents, our gifts, within the context of a biblically functioning community, the church.  We have a lot of talented people.  In fact, I am blown away by the talent at Fellowship Church.  If you look at Fellowship Church, you will see a lot of people who are very generous with their time, and very generous with their talent.  Wouldn’t you agree?  Drive up here.  Have the incredible parking crew.  They are greeting you.  Those men and women out there brave the elements.  I know you are always kind to them — the parkers.  [Ed speaks this next line sarcastically]  You never say a cross word to the parking crew.

Then, we have the ushers.  The ushers do a fantastic job.  We have the greeters.  We have the extravagant hospitality people who are just serving.  They are giving and are generous with their time and talents.  You have everybody who works in the children’s or preschool area who teaches our children in an age-appropriate fashion.  You have our youth workers — people who volunteer their time and talent on Monday and Wednesday night.  We have discipleship training here on the weekends.  You have people who give their time and talent in mission trips and mission endeavors.  There is the sports ministry and our small groups’ ministry.  I could go on and on.  But, I will stop.   You know that it’s pretty obvious that we have a lot of people, thousands of you, who give your time and talent to make Fellowship what it is.  God works through you to do the stuff.

Just as important, just as strategic as time and talent generosity are, is the true test of generosity — the treasure test.  I’ll say it again.  Just as important as time and talent generosity are, is the true test — the treasure test.

Here is what Jesus said.  It’s the litmus test.  He says in Luke 12:34, “For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

“Wait a minute!  Is he going where I think he is going?  Is he going to talk about money and my stuff?”  Yes, I am.  If you have a problem with me talking about money, don’t email me, please.  Don’t waste your time emailing me.  Instead, why don’t you “knee mail” God?  Why don’t you hit your knees and say, “God, I have got a question for you.  Why, God, when you sent your son, Jesus Christ, to live on this earth, were 16 out of his 38 parables all about money and possessions?  Why, God is one out of every ten verses in the New Testament about money?  Why is giving the second greatest theme in the Bible?  Why, God?”

If that is your deal, then you have a problem with God.  You don’t have a problem with me.  Shame on me, as a pastor.  I need to talk about it more.  If you ever go to a church and they don’t talk about money, they are not biblical.  Secondly, they are not reaching anybody.  Let’s just take a big deep breath and relax, because we are going to talk about the treasure test.  Most of us here know about giving.  We give, but we are not generous.   Let’s just call it what it is.  Most of us here don’t understand what generosity is all about.  We just don’t get it.  I was here for a long time.  So, let’s get it.

What is generosity all about?  I’ve jotted down some statements about generosity from the scripture in my Bible.  I’m going to go through the statements and then I will comment about them.  We are going to find out what generosity is all about.

But, before I do that, I want to do something funny.  Most of you watch David Letterman or you have heard about David Letterman’s top ten lists.  I kind of did something fun this week that I just remembered.  I put together Ed Young’s top eight list.  This is called “You know you fear generosity when…”  I’ll give you these before we get into this whole generosity thing.

You know you fear generosity when you say this:

“I tithe with my time.  I just tithe with my time.  I don’t tithe with my finances, just my time.”

“Well, let me first talk to my CPA.”  I love CPAs and I love financial planners but it’s about God.  When God tells you to be generous, then you go to your CPA or your financial planner and say, “Make it happen for me.”

“When the deal comes through, then I’ll give.”  That’s pretty convicting.

When you say, “I can’t afford it.”  You can’t afford not to be generous we are going to find out.

When you say, “I’ve already maxed out my charitable giving.”

When you say, “Two years ago, I really gave.  I reared back.  I did.”

When you say, “I am generous.”  I’ve discovered that if you think you are generous, then you are not.  I took an informal poll over the last several weeks and I went up to people who I know are generous people here at Fellowship Church.  I said, “I want to thank you for your generosity.”  The generous people always said this, “I can’t give enough.  I’m not doing enough, Ed.”  But, people who struggle with fearing generosity will say, “Oh, thank you, thank you very much.”

When you say, “Boy, my friend needs to hear this message.”  Then you know you fear generosity.

Let’s go back to what generosity is all about.  That was kind of fun.  We got everybody laughing.  Nervous laughter is okay.

Let’s talk about what generosity is all about.

Number one — generosity is all about God.  That should not surprise you.  It’s all about God.  It comes from God.  The moment we bow the knee to God, the moment we meet Jesus Christ personally, he places the person of the Holy Spirit inside of our lives.  The Holy Spirit then works from the interior to the exterior to make us generous people.  The Bible says that once we know Christ personally, we are partakers of his divine nature.

When I bow the knee to Christ and he comes inside of my life, I have the nature of Christ inside of my being.  Thus, when I give, I am agreeing with my nature.  I am being generous like God is generous.  When I don’t give, when I withhold, when I am selfish, I am going against the grain of who I am.  I’m going against God’s nature.  I’m living contrary to who God wants me to be.  Giving is all about understanding the grace of God, because the grace of God is generosity on steroids.  We have a sin problem.  What did God do?  God, in his unfathomable love and by his grace, sent the second person of the Godhead to die on the cross for our iniquities.  We don’t deserve it.

I talked to a guy a while back, a young man, at the zenith of his life.  I talked to him about the grace of God and this guy didn’t get it.  He thought, “Well, surely I can work here, do this, struggle here and clean my life up there.  Then I can get to a point where I deserve it.”

I said, “Friend, no.  No one deserves it.”

God did it because of his unfathomable love, his unmerited favor.  He is just so generous to us.  Once we are ambushed by the grace of God, once we realize that everything we have and who we are is all about God, then it just flows through us and we are generous because we are agreeing with him.  We are agreeing with our nature.

I had a meeting with a friend of mine, who is a very generous person.  I asked him about his generosity.  I asked, “How did you come to point of being as generous as you are?”

He said, “Ed, I learned a while back that it ain’t about me.  It’s about him.  It’s all from him.  When I am a river, and not a reservoir, I have a loose grasp on the things of this earth.”

That’s what God wants.  Generosity is all about God.

Here is another statement.  Generosity is all about lifestyle.  It should transcend everything we say, do, touch, feel and act.

1 Corinthians 16:2 says, “On the first day of the week, each one of you should set aside a sum of money in keeping with his income.”

I don’t know about you, but I need a regular reminder that Jesus is running the show in my life.  That’s just me talking.  I need a regular reminder that Jesus is the CEO.  He’s calling the shots.  Because, if I don’t have a regular weekly reminder through worship and through something tangible, like giving, then I think that I run the show.  I think that Ed is calling the shots.  I think that Ed is the man.  You are the same way.  That’s why the Bible says, time and time again, that it’s all about treasure.  Where your treasure is, that’s where your heart is.  It’s the treasure test.  God knew that we would have such a problem with money.  He knew, that when we had stuff and made money, that we would think it is ours.  That’s why he said time and time again that we are to give some of it away — regularly, weekly, strategically, and intentionally.  It reminds us that everything we have is God’s, that we don’t have stuff.  We are just managers.  We are just stewards of it.  He’s the owner of it.

I like this.  The verse says, “in keeping with his income.”  That’s the “more-more, more-less principle.”  The Bible says the more I make, the more I should give.   Yet, most of us live differently.  Most of us go by this mentality: the more we make, the less we give.  Let’s say, years and years ago, you made a certain amount of money.  Let’s say you made $25,000 a year and you were involved in the minimum worship requirement.  Let’s say you were tithing, which means 10%, and you were giving $2500 a year from your $25,000 a year to the local church.  Now, let’s say you invented something, or you are a real estate tycoon.  Let’s say now you are making $250,000 a year.  Then you are getting ready to write the check and you go, “$25,000!” and you choke on the check.   Now, why were you faithful at $25,000 and not at $250,000?  You choked down.  It’s the more-less principle.  Most of us live by that way.  Just face it.  Just be honest with yourself.  Don’t lie.  That’s where we live.

We need to say, “God, no matter what … no matter what I make, no matter what I have, I am going to be generous.  I’m going to at least hit the baseline, at least the minimum worship requirement.”

Generosity is all about lifestyle.  I like what Ecclesiastes 11:4 says.  “If you wait for perfect conditions, you will never get anything done.”  Isn’t that the truth?

People say, “Well, Ed, when I make this deal, then I’m going to step up and be generous.  When the windfall hits, then I am going to be a player.  When I make that amount of money… then…”

No, you are not.  I talk to pastors across the country and we just die laughing at the “when and then” folk.  I have never met a “when and then” person who has come through.  Never.

“When, then I will.  When, then I will.”

Generosity starts where you are.  I don’t care if you are making ten dollars a day or a billion dollars a day.  It starts where you are.  Generosity, excelling and giving over, above and beyond is about God.  It’s about lifestyle.

Generosity is also about cost.  What did David say in the Old Testament? You know, the David that killed Goliath?  David was a billionaire.  A lot of people don’t know this.  He was worth over a billion dollars.  Do you know what David said?

He said, “I’m not going to give God anything that doesn’t cost me something.”

Again, we give, but usually it doesn’t cost us something.  To truly be generous, to go over, above, and beyond, you have got to give something that will cost you something.  That’s why, years ago, I began to apply something in my life that has helped me on this.  I regularly give things that matter to me away.  I don’t mean junk.  I don’t mean an old worn out cell phone, some shirt or pair of shoes that are sorry.  It’s got to be something that I like, something that matters to me.  When I began to do that regularly, it began to help me get the read on greed.  It began to give me the ability to loosely hold on to things, and God has done some amazing things in my life through that principle.  I would challenge you to think about doing the same thing yourself.  Generosity is all about cost.

I love 2 Corinthians 9:6.  It just slams us all. “Remember this; whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly.”

How many of you have ever listened to the radio station called The Ticket?  I don’t listen to The Ticket very much.  However, a year or two ago, I was listening to one of the morning programs and I heard Dunham and Miller call someone a “spare.”

They said, “This guy’s a spare.”

I thought, “A spare.  What’s a spare?  I bowl a little bit, but they are calling a person a spare?  Is this person a bowling pin?  What’s that about?”  I jumped on my laptop and went on their website.  They had this thing called a “Tictionary,” where they used all these different terms and defined them.  Here is how they defined the word “spare.”  The “spare” was a person who did not achieve greatness — a person who did not achieve greatness.

God does not want you to be a spare.  He does not want me to be a spiritual spare.  But, if we “sow sparingly,” then we will never achieve our greatness.  We will never be blessed the way God wants us to be blessed.

Let me put it another way.  I love espresso.  That’s my favorite kind of coffee — those little tiny cups, just a sip and it’s gone.  Usually, in the mornings, I will have a cup of espresso and a bagel.  The bad thing about it is that, in about twenty seconds, the espresso is gone and I have only taken about two bites out of the bagel.  So, the rest of the time, I am eating a bagel — dry, by myself.  It’s kind of bad.  A lot of us are espresso givers.  We come to God and say, “God, here is my espresso offering.  Here’s my espresso cup.  Here you go God.  Would you fill it up for me?”

“Oh, that’s good.  I got espresso blessing.  Oh, wow!  Look at me!  Espresso!”

A lot of you here are carrying around little espresso cups.  God says, “Don’t do that.”  If you keep reading in Corinthians you will see that it says, “Those who sow generously will reap generously.”

We should say, “God, I want a vente, triple shot cappuccino, with whipped cream and chocolate syrup.  And go ahead and throw in five dozen Krispy Kreme donuts.  I want to sow that to you, because I know, back to me, will come a vente, triple shot cappuccino with whipped cream and chocolate syrup and five dozen Krispy Kremes.”

I want to be that kind of person, don’t you?  But, I can’t be that kind of person if I am just sowing little espresso-type gifts, little offerings.  Do you wonder why you are barely being blessed?  Do you wonder why you are in financial turmoil?  Do you wonder why you have a negative attitude?  Do you wonder why you are whining and complaining?  It goes back to the litmus test.  It goes back to the treasure test.  God knew that we would struggle with this stuff.  It’s amazing to watch the body language of people, especially guys, when you talk about money.  Guys, let’s face it; we think we are in control of money.  Some of the guys are looking around right now and asking, “Where are the exits?”

Generosity is about God.  It’s about lifestyle.  It’s about cost.  It’s also about attitude.  How’s your ‘tude’, man?  How’s your ‘tude’, woman?  If you show me someone who is selfish, I’ll show you someone who is negative.  If you show me someone who is generous, I’ll show you someone who is visionary, who has got a positive attitude.  How’s your ‘tude’?

2 Corinthians 9:7 says, “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.”

You know I like to imitate people.  I love to imitate the way people laugh.  A friend of mine, who is a pastor, laughs like this.  (Imitates the laugh)  My uncle laughs like this.  (Imitates the laugh)  I have another friend who played football at the University of South Carolina and he laughs like this.  (Imitates the laugh)  He will never open his mouth.  I have a very, very close friend who goes to this church and he laughs like this.  (Imitates the laugh)

God loves a cheerful giver, so when the offering plate is passed, I want to hear this, (laughter imitations).  I want to hear that when the offering plate is passed because the word cheerful in the Greek is pronounced “hilarious.”  We get the word hilarious from the Greek word for cheerful.  So, if you are negative, mean and a miser, then God doesn’t want your money.  He doesn’t need it.  Keep it.  Keep the stuff.  God loves a cheerful giver, a hilarious giver.

The Bible also says we should give proportionately, as I talked about.  Also, we should give purposely.  Let me talk about those two things for a second — proportionately and purposely.  We should give, as a minimum worship requirement, our first fruits, the first ten percent, to the house of worship.  That’s the baseline.  That’s the theme of the Old Testament and the theme of the New Testament.

Think about the Old Testament, for example.  They were giving their first fruits, the best of their crops, the best of their animals, and the best of their gold and silver — the best.  Then, in the New Testament, we have God stepping through time in history giving his first fruits — his only Son, Jesus Christ.  I ask you, where did God direct his offering?  He directed it to the church.  Jesus died on the cross and rose again for the church.  The church is the bride of Christ and God has blessed it by his first fruit offerings.  Think of the billions of people who have bowed the knee to Christ.

Are you giving your best?  Are you going above and beyond?  The Bible says you should.  If you are not, then you are being disobedient to God.  That’s as plain as I know how to say it.

Generosity is about attitude.  It’s also about maturity.  Generosity is about maturity.   How many of you have teenagers?  Teenagers are a trip, aren’t they?  I love teenagers, but teenagers are pretty self-centered, pretty selfish, just being a teenager.  Here’s what else is really unique about teenagers — teenagers think they know more than they do.  But, teenagers, you don’t know what you think you know.  Your parents know a lot more than you know.  Just realize that.  I know as a teenager, you think you know more than you do.

Spiritual teenagers think they know more than they know.  Spiritual teenagers think they are really mature, but they have to realize that they are teenagers.   People who say, “Yeah, I’m really mature,” are not.  You think you are, but you are not.  Mature people, though, are people who are unselfish.  Spiritually mature people are unselfish.  They understand what the Bible says.  They understand that it’s not about themselves.  It’s about others.  It’s about praying for others.  It’s about encouraging others.  It’s about sharing with others.  It’s about the others.  Yet, people who are spiritual teenagers think it’s all about them.  They think that it’s about their needs, getting fed themselves, their little deal and their little click.  But, that’s not it.

Fellowship Church has some mature people here.  We have got a hunk of mature believers.  In fact, I would say a third of Fellowship Church is made up of a people who are mature.  I’m not talking about chronologically.  I’m talking about spiritually mature.  I’m talking about deep believers.  Why do I know that?  I know that because of the other aspects of Fellowship Church.  We’ve got a third who are mature.  Then, we have a third who would be considered baby/teenager Christians.  We have got a lot of baby/teenager Christians.  We also have a lot of people going to hell who attend Fellowship Church.  So, listen to me now.  We have got three groups of people.   They are pretty balanced.  We’ve got a third going to hell, a third who are babies and teenage Christians and we have a third who are mature.  Guess what?  That’s the kind of church we should have.  The church should be balanced.  If you ever walk into a church and people say, “This church is packed with mature Christians.”  Get out, because it’s not biblical.

If the church is really mature, then it will have each of those groups.  The mature third will invite a bunch of people headed for hell.  They will invite those people, because the mature ones know that it’s not about them.  It’s about others.  So, the mature people will invite people who are going to hell to the church and you will have a lot of hell bound people going to church.  Then, they will become baby Christians.  The great thing about Fellowship Church is this.  We have got people who were going to hell who are now going to heaven.  Now, the people who are going to heaven have been born again and they are babies in Christ.  They are in spiritual diapers.  They are still eating Gerber.  That’s fine.  Some have left that stage and they are children, spiritually.  Some are teenagers.   Some are mature.

Do you know what?  When God wants to birth a bunch of baby believers, what does he do?  He looks for the warmest incubator, the best hospital he can find.  I praise God that he has picked Fellowship Church to do that.  Don’t you?  I thank God for that.

So, remember, a balanced church has a lot of people going to hell, a lot of babies and teenagers, and a lot of mature folk.  But, do you know what?  The mature people are the ones who make it happen for the rest of us.  Mature people are the ones who give.  I’ve talked to a lot of mature people here and a lot of us are kind of going, “I think it’s time for some of these babies and teenagers to step up and start giving, because we are tired of paying the way for everybody else.”  Do you know what I am saying?  So, just take a look around.  Do you see these incredible facilities here?  Someone, before you, gave generously.  A lot of you would not be on your way to heaven right now had they not given, because we would not have this place, this land, and this facility here.  We wouldn’t have the lights, the singers, or the speakers.  We wouldn’t have the people working in the preschool or the nursery.  We wouldn’t have anyone helping with the parking, the extravagant hospitality and the missions.  So, I ask you, “What are you going to do for the next wave?”  That’s just a thought to consider.

2 Corinthians 8:7 says, “See that you also excel in this grace of giving.”  I have a friend of mine who is a pastor.  He told me a while back, “Sometimes when I get to know people of wealth, I’ll come alongside them, look at them and say, ‘You know what?  I sure am glad I’m not in your shoes.’  It always takes the wealthy people back and they will go, ’what?  Pastor, are you telling me that you’re glad you’re not in my shoes?  I’m a multimillionaire!’”

He tells them, “No, seriously. I’m glad I’m not in your shoes, because I bet you lie awake at night thinking about ways you can leverage money for God’s local church.”

There are some people here who are wealthy.  That’s a direct word to you.  What are you thinking about — just you, what can make you happy?  Or, do you realize that your stuff is God’s stuff, and that you are going to be a river and not a reservoir?  Are you going to damn God’s stuff up, or are you going to let it flow and move out?

Generosity — it’s also about now.  We need to start now.  Some of you are saying, “How do I start now?  I understand what generosity is all about.  It’s about God.  It’s about lifestyle.  It’s about cost.  It’s about attitude.  It’s about maturity.  It’s about now.  How do I do it?”

I’ve told you one thing — to give something away regularly that cost you something.  A lot of us just don’t do that.  We say, “Well, if it doesn’t benefit me and doesn’t help my tax situation, then I can’t really give it.”  I’m telling you to just give something away.

Here’s something else.  This is going to be very, very bold.  I’m going to challenge believers here.  If you are a Christian, I am going to ask you to go for “the ask.”  Do something very bold and put your cards on the table.  Meet with a trusted, spiritually mature person.  Maybe you don’t even know this person right now.  Pray that God will bring this person into your life and he will.  Then just say to them, “Okay, here are my time cards.  Am I being generous with my time?  Just tell me.  Okay.  Here are my talent cards.  God’s given me this talent and this gifted ability.  Am I being generous with my talent?  Tell me.”

The third thing will freak a lot of you out.  It will cause you to get weak-kneed.  A lot of you don’t have the guts to do this.  Show them what you have financially.  Say, “Okay, here’s what I have.  Here’s what I make.  Here’s what I am worth.  Am I being generous?  Am I giving the minimum worship requirement?  Or am I playing games?  Am I hypocritical about acting like I’m generous?  Am I just giving?”

Just get someone to check you out there.  You will not believe what will happen.  I’ve done that.  I still do.  It has been liberating.  It’s been so refreshing, because I know about the accountability.  I know what is going to happen.  I know that iron sharpens iron, and by giving and being held accountable for it that I’m going to be blessed like I cannot believe or fathom.  The same blessings are out there for every person hearing my voice.

Let me end this talk with some good news and some bad news.  Here’s the good news.  You are going to love this.  You know we are in a building campaign called “Get in the Game.”  We built, on faith now, this beautiful Children’s Building.  We built the Chapel, the Bookstore, and the Lake.  We’ve changed the front of the church and the lobby.  It’s been awesome.  Now, the good news is this.  We have the money to pay off our debt.   Is that awesome?  That’s incredible.

Here’s the bad news.  The money is in your wallet and in your purse.  No, really.  You know I’m just playing with you, but that’s true.  It’s not really bad news.  It’s not.  It’s good news, because that means you’ve got the potential to do what you need to do with it.  So, how about it?  Understand what generosity is all about.  Apply it.  Go for “the ask,” and you will conquer the fear of generosity.

Father, thank you for this word.  I pray, God, that all of us, myself included, would get a hold of this and continue to take it to the next level.  God, you have so many awesome things for us, individually and collectively.  I pray that we discover them and grasp them only by your power and your grace.  I pray, God, for that person who is saying right now, “Man, I don’t struggle with this.”  I pray that you will just penetrate, convict and move as only you can.  I pray that we receive the fact that you have been so generous with us.  So, Father, we love you and thank you for this time.  In Jesus’ name, amen.

IGNITE

A Lot Of Fire

Ed Young

July 7, 2002

We all face DMD’s don’t we?  Defining Moment Decisions.  They come at us in a rapid fire pace.  Choices, decisions, that we constantly make.  Now obviously some are pretty bold and it’s obvious that they’re big decisions, like who are we going to marry, what career path will we take?  I mean anyone knows these are DMD’s.  But so often we face these decisions, these choices and they’re DMD’s, yet we don’t realize that they’re DMD’s.  We don’t realize they’re Defining Moment Decisions.  We’re clueless about them.

Well, I want to talk to you about what to do when you face a DMD.  Because Defining Moment Decisions really play out, really have monstrous implications in all of our lives. Decisions that we make today are pretty much who are we going to be tomorrow.  Now I know a lot of you right now are facing these decisions, you might not realize it, but you are.  Some of you realize it.  You say, “Ed, oh yeah, oh man, you’re talking to me tonight.  I’m facing a DMD.”  Well if you are, and because you will, listen up.

There was a guy in the Bible who had a very impressive resume.  His name was Lot.  Now Lot was something else.  This guy had some serious cash; he had some serious influence.  He had kind of a sad life in a way, because his father died at a very young age. His uncle, though, was Abraham.  Abraham was a heavy-hitter.  Abraham would be along the same lines as Bill Gates is today.  Abraham was a great man of faith, a great man of conviction, a wonderful personality.

Well, God told Abraham one day to move.  And Abraham taught Lot a lot about business, and Lot learned a lot and became a multi-trillionaire himself. And both he and Abraham were moving along.  He was following Abraham because Abraham was following God and suddenly you have like two Fortune 500 companies moving together. When you have that going on you are going to have some conflict.  Not really between Abraham and Lot, but between their employees.

“You know, my cows should graze here.”  “No, no, no, your cows should be over there.” So before bringing the lawyers in, they made a choice.  They made a pact.  They faced a DMD, a Defining Moment Decision.  Now, I don’t think Lot really realized it.  Lot was kind of clueless.  Like sometimes we’re clueless about DMD’s.  Abraham knew it, Lot didn’t, and the Bible says they made a choice.

Now amazingly Abraham, the senior of the two, Abraham the leader of the two, Abraham the guy who made more scratch than the other, should have been the one to make the first choice.  I mean you would think Abraham would have said, “Lot, chill, I’m making a decision.  You just shut up and let me do it.  I’m going to talk to God and then I’m going to make my decision.”  Abraham didn’t do that.  Do you know what Abraham did?  Abraham said, “Okay, Lot, you choose first.”

All of us are connected to families in one way or another.  All of us are.  Isn’t that a great example?  Abraham gave Lot first choice.  He put family peace over personal gain.  What happens?  Someone passes away and that someone in your family had a little bit of money, and people start fighting over the money like barracuda.  “It’s mine.”  “No, it’s mine”.  “It’s mine.” “It’s mine.”  Ahhh!  You have some turmoil going on.  It’s a great lesson.

You know what Abraham said?  “Lot, you go ahead and choose.”  Maybe for some of you, you can say, “Okay. Quit fighting.  I’ll put family peace above personal gain.”  Wow, that’s convicting to me and to all of us, isn’t it?  Well that’s the DMD that occurred in their lives.  The Bible says that Lot looked one way and it didn’t look too pretty, kind of like west Texas.  Lot looked the other way and said, “Wow, look at that.  It looks like Maui or Fiji or somewhere.  Abraham, I’m going this way, man.”

So the Bible says that Lot moved toward the cities of Sodom and Gomorra.  He moved towards it.  Nowhere does Lot say, “Abraham, give me advice.” Nowhere do you see Lot pray.  I mean after all Abraham was the man.  Lot should have asked him, “Hey Uncle Abe, give me some advice.  I mean, I need some, please.”  He didn’t do that.  He just thought about himself.  What made him look good, what made him feel good, what helped his cattle, what he thought helped his family.

I’m sure Lot said, “I can move toward Sodom and Gomorra.  Now, I know those cities are ungodly, I know there’s a temptation there, but I can build a wall around my family and Sodom and Gomorra will never get into my family.  I can just do it by myself.  I’m strong enough to do it.  I’m a multi, multi, millionaire and I can just pay for security and everything is cool.”

Let’s pick up with what the Bible says about this story.  Genesis 13:11, “So Lot chose for himself the whole plain of Jordan and set out toward the east and the two men parted company.”  Look at Verse 12.  “Abraham dwelled in the land of Kenyan and Lot dwelled in the cities of the plain and,” oh, remember this phrase, “pitched his tent towards Sodom.”

I better stop and ask you a question.  What are you moving toward right now?  You have a tent and it’s pitched toward something, what is it toward?  Is it toward maybe a gray area business deal?  You’re saying to yourself, “You know I would not do that, Ed, but I’m moving toward it.”  Maybe, is it toward a flirtatious relationship at work?  You’re a married man and this lady has caught your eye and you’re saying to yourself, “I would never…  I mean come on, I’m a married man.”  But you find yourself moving toward that.  Maybe you’re a student and you’re saying, “I wouldn’t do drugs or anything.”  But you find yourself moving closer and closer towards people who do that.  And you say, “I would never do that.”  I’m going to tell you something.  Whatever you’re moving towards, whatever I’m moving towards, one day we will end up there within the city limits.

Downplay the Upside While Playing Up the Down Side

Here’s the first thing we need to do when we’re making a Defining Moment Decision: Downplay the upside while playing up the down side.  Let’s say you’re thinking about getting married. Well, downplay the upside.  Downplay it times five.  You’re dating her, but think about when you marry her and, times five, downplay the upside while playing up the downside.  If you see a downside in this person you’re thinking about marrying, play that and multiply it out times five or ten.  Yeah, downplay the upside while playing up the downside.

Now, look at Verse 13, Genesis Chapter 13, because remember Lot said to himself something like this, “The pasture land looks good, the water supply looks good.  I mean, I’ll probably go into the cities now and then to buy groceries, because I hear they have a great health foods store and everything. But I would never end up living there.”  The Bible says, “Now the men of Sodom were wicked and sinning greatly against the Lord.”  They had dove into the abyss of rebellion before God.  The city was out of control, wheels off; it was hydroplaning.

Here’s the biblical principle, people don’t like to hear it these days, but here is the biblical principle.  These aren’t my words; this is what God says.  You’ve got sin, and we all sin.  I sin.  You sin.  I’m a sinner, you’re a sinner, everybody’s a sin, sin, sinner.  Okay, we sin, and sin must have a punishment; sin must be paid for.  We deserve the judgment of God.  I deserve it, Edwin Barry Young, I deserve the judgment of God.  I deserve the fires of Hell and so do you.  But, by God’s grace, but, by the love of God, he commissioned Christ, and Christ paid the price for my sin.  He became sin just so we could have freedom and forgiveness and reconciliation.  So we don’t deserve it, it’s something that God did by His grace and, if we receive that, then we are Christ followers.  That is Christianity in a nutshell.

Build an Altar

Well let’s go back to this Defining Moment Decision.  How do you make a wise choice?  I mean, we don’t want to make dumb moves like Lot, do we?  How do we make a wise choice?  Right quick write this down: Number 1, Build Altars; Number 2, Build Boards.  Number 1, Build Altars; Number Two, Build Boards.  Read the life of Abraham.  Every time Abraham was making a decision, every time he had a DMD or a choice do you know what he would do?  Both, he would hit the deck on his knees.  He would build an altar.

Here’s what an altar is, an altar in the Bible symbolized communion with God.  It commemorated notable encounters with Him.  That’s why I encourage all of you to have a place, or maybe even a couple of places around your house or apartment where you pray and where you also keep trophies of God’s grace.  It could be a photograph; it could be a picture.  I have a little office right up here and on my desk, I’ve had this desk for like twelve years here at Fellowship Church, I have replicas of the nails that were used to crucify Christ.  Those nails remind me that, “Ed, you’re a sinner. You don’t deserve anything, man.”  They also remind me that my sin and your sin nailed Jesus to the cross.  It could be a bracelet, it could be a necklace, it could be a statue, it could be some stones.  I remember I took a stone from an area where I prayed years ago before we actually built this building.  I could go on and on. It’s a biblical thing.  So make sure you hit your knees like Abraham did and pray during, before, and even after you make a Defining Moment Decision.

Build a Board

Number two, Build a Board.  At Fellowship Church we have a Board of Directors.  And this Board of Directors advises me and the staff.  They’ve helped me so much in the legal realm, the financial realm, the construction realm.  We could not have made the decisions we’ve made over the last twelve years at Fellowship Church without a great board.  Do you have a personal advisory board?  The Bible says you should.  The Bible says what in Proverbs?  This is wisdom, there is genius in a number of counselors, people who love you, people who can speak truth into your life.

I want to tell you about two people right quick.  I’ve watched a person over the last several years and I’ve watched this gentleman in the throes of making a DMD, a Defining Moment Decision.  I saw this person, though, mess up, and let me tell you how this person messed up.  This person had around him some men who loved him, who loved the Lord, who spoke truth into his life.  All the sudden, though, I saw this person kind of unplug and disengage for a while.  Didn’t see him for a while, didn’t talk to him for a while.  One day this person shows back up.  “Hey man, guess what?  I’ve done ‘blank’.”  And everybody was like, “Say what?  Why didn’t you talk to me?  Why didn’t you talk to me?  Did you think about this, that, this, that…” You could see it on his face.  Oh, too late, he had already made it.

I know someone right now who is in the middle of a DMD, Defining Moment Decision.  He has some great Christian people around him and I’m watching him right now disengage, just kind of unplug.  And I’m going to have to talk to this guy.  It’s not going to be fun, but I’ve got to.  When you start to pull away from people who love you, who want the best for you and you start doing some of this Lone Ranger stuff, “High ho Silver, away” you’re going to get in trouble.  You’re going to make a dumb Lot decision.  I hate to be so graphic but I’ll just say D-U-M-B, dumb Lot decision.  We’ve all made them.  Come on, man, let’s just talk here for a second, all right?

Every time I talk about Sodom and Gomorra, though, I have to talk about the judgment of God.  It’s not very fun to talk about the judgment of God, because God is a God of grace and love but He is also a God of judgment.  God is perfectly fair.  And, really, when I talk about the judgment of God, my mind goes back to when I was 11 years old.  I don’t know if you realize this, but I am a frustrated drummer.  I used to play the drums and I stopped playing when I was 11 years old.  I only learned one song and I want play this song for you right now, because it illustrates where I’m going for the rest of the talk.  Okay, let’s hear it for the band, all right.  I can tell you’re excited.  Okay, this song is a deep song; it only has one word.  But I’ll play it, along with the band.  Whewwwwww, Wipeout!

(Band and Ed begin playing Wipeout.)

Wow, well I appreciate that, but I’ll tell you, I haven’t improved since I was eleven years old.  If you could go back in time, I played the same at eleven.  I guess I never developed my gift of rhythm.  That’s sad too in a way, because God gives all of us gifts and sometimes we don’t develop them.  If you don’t use it, you’ll lose it, right?  So thank you for your support.

Wipeout by the Surfaris.  What is the song about?  The song is about wiping out, the song is about this guy surfing, or this girl surfing, the wave hits them and bam!  They wipe out.  How many people here snowboard?  Go ahead lift your hand.  That’s it?  Wakeboard?  Mountain bike?  Rodeo?  Well if you do any of those sports, you’re going to wipe out.

Now, sometimes in life wipeouts are fun, aren’t they?  “Yeah, dude.  That was sweet, man.  I fell down and got skinned up, but it was incredible.  Yeah, I did four flips over that ramp and man it was something.  Slid down the mountain in Colorado, man.”  Sometimes, wipeouts are fun.  Other times, they are not so fun.  They can maim and even kill.

Sometimes, we can wipe out vocationally.  Sometimes, wipeouts are good things.  “Okay, I left that job.  Thank you, God, that I wiped out that boss and that deal, whew! What a relief.”  Other times, wipeouts are not so fun vocationally.  You get a pink slip or you get someone who says, “You know what?  You are doing a horrible job.”  You’re like, “Whoa, that’s not a fun wipeout.”  We get wiped out relationally.  Sometimes relational wipeouts are great.  “I’m going to leave that destructive relationship.  Yeah!”  Sometimes they’re bad.  You get the Dear John letter or the Dear Jill letter.  You know, boo-hoo.  Wipeouts aren’t always fun.  God, that’s right, our loving God, God our sovereign God, God our omniscient God, plays Wipeout.

There are certain times when God plays Wipeout.  Certain times He wipes out people who live in continual rebellion before Him.  Sometimes He wipes out even nations.  He does and it’s not fun to talk about it.  But again I’m going to talk about it because God talked about it, and I am commanded to talk about what God talked about.  Well, God was getting ready to play Wipeout on the cities of Sodom and Gomorra.  I mean He had his sticks in the air ready to go.  Just freeze-frame that for a second, okay.

Selfish Decisions Usually Lead to Destruction While Unselfish Decisions Usually Lead to Life

Let’s go to the next little thing we need to know when we make these Defining Moment Decisions.  We’re to downplay the upside while playing up the downside, but also we need to do this.  Remember, selfish decisions usually lead to destruction while unselfish decisions usually lead to life.  Man, that is so true.  I like the 2:34 principle.  Philippians 2:3-4, this is how you make great decisions.  Listen to this.  “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves.  Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interest of others.” 

What did Lot do?  I’ve said it before, Lot thought about Lot a lot and he messed up.  He made a selfish decision, a very me-istic decision.  Every time we make selfish decisions we are going to mess up.

Bad Company Corrupts Good Character More Than Good Character Influences Bad Company

Let’s go to the third thing we need to do when we make a DMD.  Here we go.  Remember this one.  Bad company, that’s right, bad company corrupts good character more than good character influences bad company.  Ouch!  1 Corinthians 15:33,  “Do not be misled,” Paul said.  “Bad  company,” that means close continual associations with bad company, “corrupts good character.”

I want to bring out my man, Mike Sky Walker.  Mike is the guy that mixes for us, the guy that does a lot of the staging for us.  You name it; Mike does it.  Let’s give it up for Mike Sky Walker.  All right, man, I’m going to help you on this stool right here.  I love this illustration.  You’ve probably seen it before, but I’ve got to use it again.  Mike Walker is a great Christian guy. He lives the life. He’s the real deal.  Good character and Mike Walker, they go hand in hand.  Well, let’s say for example that I am a bad character.  You know, I’m just not that good of an influence on him.  Let’s say Mike kind of likes me.  He likes this orange shirt or whatever, and we’re just hanging out some.  Mike says, “You know, I’ll hang out with Ed a lot.  I will continually associate with him and he won’t drag me down.  I’ll lift him up.” Mike says.  Okay, Mike, now I weigh 185 pounds, just go ahead and lift me up.  Mike can’t do it.  No, no, no, no, no.  Now watch this. See, if I just walk forward holding onto him, I’m not even pulling now, I can pull him down.  So, if you have close continual associations with bad company, they’re going to pull you down.  “Ed, you down?”  Yeah.  “You down…?”  I don’t care who you are; they will pull you down.

Every time God plays Wipeout, He always provides a way out.

Let’s go back to our story.  I didn’t give up on Lot, did you?  I didn’t give up on Abraham.  Here’s what happened.  Lot had just gone off the deep end, and some angels show up and give Abraham a message from God.  The message said simply this, “Abraham, God is getting ready to play Wipeout on Sodom and Gomorra. He’s getting ready.”  The sticks are in the air; the drum kit is there! And Abraham and God go back and forth and finally they kind of strike this deal where if there are a couple of righteous people in Sodom, God will wait.  And here is the great principle. Are you ready for this?  Every time God plays Wipeout, He always provides a way out.  Say that with me.  Every time God play Wipeout, He always provides a way out.

With the Noachian flood, for example, God was going to play Wipeout.  But before He wiped out everyone, He provided a way out with Noah and the ark.  Remember the wicked city of Nineveh?  God was getting ready to play Wipeout, but he tapped the reluctant running prophet on the shoulder, Jonah, and God provided the way out.  Think about the world.  If we got what we deserve, it would be wiped out.  God provided a way out.  He sent Jesus Christ as a sin sacrifice.  He rose again, and, if we meet Christ and receive him, we have the way out.  Every time God plays Wipeout, He provides a way out.  Okay.  That’s what He’s going to do right here for our boy Lot and his family.  He provides a way out.

Let’s look at Genesis 19:1.  These angels who hung out with Abraham now cruise into Sodom.  The two angels arrived at Sodom in the evening and look at our boy.  Lot was sitting in the gateway of the city.   Now what’s our boy thinking?  Now, I hope you’ve been paying attention, because if you go back and look at Genesis 13 it says that Lot and his family had moved towards Sodom.  Well now check him out, he was sitting in Sodom, and most scholars believe that Lot was the mayor of Sodom.  Not only was Lot in Sodom, also Sodom was in Lot.  I’m going to ask you again, where is your Sodom?  What is your Sodom? Who is your Sodom?

The angels arrive in the evening, and Lot was sitting in the gateway.  When he saw them, he got up to meet them and bowed down with his face to the ground.  The Bible says he invited the angels to his house.  Do you know what the New Testament says?  The New Testament says, we entertain angels without even knowing it.  A lot of us have.

Well, this is sad what I’m going to tell you right now; it’s really tragic.  It just breaks my heart to talk about it, and I know it breaks the heart of God.  The reason that Lot invited the angels to his house was because he knew they would be sexually assaulted if they stayed out in the streets too long.  The angels came into Lot’s house and they warned him and said, “Lot you know the fire is going to fall here.  God’s been patient, He’s been merciful, but the fire is going to fall.  You have got to get out.  You’ve got to get out.”  And the Bible says that Lot heard something outside and he looked out and the men of Sodom had surrounded Lot’s house.  They wanted to have relations with the angels.  And Lot was so messed up, his mind was so gone, his sin was so spectacular, the Bible says that he offered his virgin daughters to the mob!  Is that tragic?

“Oh Ed, that’s just horrible!  Man, I cannot imagine a place as perverted and sinful like Sodom and Gomorra.”  Oh really?  I was on a beach in Florida several weeks ago and I saw this area that was protected, because the sea turtles had dug a hole and put their eggs in the hole.  And a friend of mine told me, “Ed if you touch that, they’ll put you in jail.  You cannot touch a sea turtle’s eggs.”  Yet several miles from this spot you have clinics, and these clinics are killing unborn babies.  Now I’m all for protecting wildlife, I love animals and all that.  But do that math.  We’re going to protect the eggs of an old turtle, yet we are going to kill unborn babies?  Then we have Rosie O’Donnell saying that lesbian and homosexual people provide a good family unit for children.  Come back on that one.  We love the gays.  We love the lesbians.  We love the adulators.  We love the fornicators.  But, we do not like the sin.

Four times in the Old Testament, three times in the New Testament, it says homosexuality is a sin before God.  It is committing cosmic treason.  I want to read something from Dr. Jeffrey Satinover from MIT and Harvard.  Here’s what he says about homosexuality, because you’ll hear the gay community say, “You know, it’s just a genetic thing.  We were born that way.”  Let me read to you what Jeffrey Satinover from MIT and Harvard says.  “What the majority of respected scientists now believe is that homosexuality is attributable to a combination of physiological, social, and biological factors.” These researchers, especially Satinover, bring up basketball to illustrate the point of how ludicrous it is to say there is a gay gene.  Satinover argues, What if you said there was a basketball gene?  You won’t find one, but, if there was one, you’d have some predispositions towards higher muscularity and towards quickness and towards a vertical jump.  But just because you have this predisposition does not mean that you are forced to become a basketball player.  It’s a choice.  Let’s say there was a gay gene, he says.  You aren’t forced to engage in a homosexual lifestyle. It’s a choice.  Let’s say you are predisposed to chronic headaches from PMS, would that give you a license to engage in socially unacceptable behavior?  Can you say, “Well, I just don’t have a choice.”?

You know I have done several series over this issue and I go through reasons why people choose this lifestyle.  I talk about the genetic influencer.  I talk about the environmental influencer.  I talk about the parental influencer.  One study that I read several years ago said that 85% of gays say that is was an early childhood experience that led them into the gay lifestyle.  There are a lot of people here who need to understand this.

There are a lot of people here who are involved in adultery.  A lot of people here are involved in fornication.  A lot of people here are involved in homosexuality.  And down deep you’re crying out; you’re miserable. You’re not happy, and you know it.  The joy is not there.  I want to tell you something: God loves you, man. He loves you, woman.  You matter to God.  And God is saying there is a way out.  “Well Ed, is there a way out for me?”  Yeah there is.  You go on our Web site and we have a list of incredible biblical counselors who would love to talk to you about what you’re involved in.  We want you to be fired up to be the kind of person that God wants.  Because at Fellowship Church we want to build bridges to everyone, but also we want to stand for truth and draw lines in the sand.  So we welcome you, we love you.  We love the sinner, but we don’t like the sin in any of our lives.

It’s Easier To Make A Fast Break Than A Slow Motion Move

So I hope you’re tracking now.  When you make a Defining Moment Decision, you downplay the upside while playing up the downside.  Selfish decisions usually lead to destruction while unselfish decisions usually lead to life.  Bad company corrupts good character more than good character influences bad company.  All right. The last one and then we’re going home.  We are spurring the horse to the barn right now.  It’s easier to make a fast break than a slow motion move.

Is that true?  Man how many times in my life have I been messing around with stuff I shouldn’t mess around with and I say to myself and I say to God, “God, I’ll just slowly move away from it.  I can just do that NFL slow-motion thing.”  No you can’t.  Make a fast break.  A lot of you right now are involved in relationships that are messing you up.  A lot of you are involved in businesses that are messing you up.  Your associations at your place of work are just messing you up and you’re saying, “Well I don’t want to hurt his feelings.”  “What will she think?”   “I had just better you know…” Who are you trying to fool?  Don’t make a dumb move like Lot did.  Make a fast break.  Not a slow-motion move, a fast break.

Ruth Graham said this, the wife of Bill Graham, she said, “If God does not rain judgment on America, He will have to apologize to the cities of Sodom and Gomorra.”  That’s a stout line isn’t it?  Well, the fire was falling.  God was raining judgment down.  Check out Genesis 19:16.  “When he hesitated…” This is Lot now; he hesitated.  Don’t make a slow motion move.  “When he hesitated…”  And the Bible says he warned his future son-in-law, “Future son-in-law, God is going to judge Sodom.  Man, get out.  Come with me.”  And his future son-in-law had this reaction:  “Ha, ha, ha.  What?  Lot, you are some man of God warning me?  Come on.  Have you been drinking too much?”  “When he hesitated, the men grasped,” the angels now they grasped, “his hand and the hands of his wife and two daughters and led them safely out of the city, for the Lord was merciful to them.” 

The closer I get to God, friends, the closer I get to God, the more I am awed by His grace and mercy, and also the more I am awed by His judgment.  Do you know what the angels said?  “Don’t look back. When the fire falls, do not look.  Don’t look back.”  Verse 26, “But Lot’s wife looked back and she became a pillar of salt.”  A pillar of salt.  Don’t look back.

I have actually swum in the Dead Sea.  Most archeologists feel that Sodom and Gomorra are actually buried under beneath the Dead Sea.  The Dead Sea has so much salt in it you can’t sink.  Is that wild?  You just float.  You can be out 500 yards and just floating.  The salt content is so high it can eat away at your skin if you stay in there too long.  I have pictures of a bunch of us who went to Israel just floating around. It was a really a weird thing.  But the eerie thing about it is you’re kind of floating around, splashing a little bit–don’t get it in your eyes though— and all of the sudden you look on the shore and you’ll see some pillars.  Pillars of salt everywhere; they are there to this day.

My father had this look he would give me when I was misbehaving as a kid.  I called it the O.L.K.E, the Oh! Look that Killed Ed.  Oh! Okay. Well, this right here was a look that killed.  Lot’s wife looked back and Bam! became a pillar of salt.

In certain areas God is playing Wipeout.  His hands are on the sticks.  He’s white knuckling the sticks.  They’re getting ready to come down on the drum kits. But every time God plays Wipeout He always provides a way out.  For many here you need to say, “God, I want to take your way out, because that is the only way.”

MEN AND WOMEN

Four Times A Lady – Part I

Ed and Lisa Young

April 21, 2002

Lisa:    As Rob Johnson said earlier, we are continuing the series Men and Women here at Fellowship Church.  We began to look at the lives of men and the stamps that God has placed on their lives.  We saw over the past two weeks that God has stamped men uniquely with the stamps of initiative, risk, competition and loyalty.

But today, it’s time for the women.  I don’t know about you but I am very excited about that.  I look around this auditorium today and I see a lot of beautiful women who range in different age categories to different stages in life.  We are here to celebrate that fact.

As we have done our research and studied for the past several weeks, we have looked at a lot of books about men and women and one thing is for sure.  There are many more books written about women than men.  The fact of the matter is, ladies, we are complicated.  It’s a fact.  Complicated tends to be a negative sort of word.  When I first heard that, I thought I don’t like the sound of that.  So instead of complicated, could we not say intricate?  That’s a much prettier word.

When you think about a beautiful painting, it is much more valuable the more intricacies the artist gives it.  A tapestry finely woven with beautiful threads is more valuable the more intricate the detail.

So you see, whether you use the term complicated or intricate, it’s very much a beautiful thing.  We are also as women multifaceted.  I especially like this description because when you mention the word “facets” something comes to mind, diamonds.  Gentlemen, diamonds are still a girl’s best friend, if you needed to be reminded of that.  We are multifaceted.

Did you know that the more facets a diamond has, the greater its brilliance?  The greater facets a woman has, the more brilliant she becomes.  I am not speaking of brilliance in terms of smarts.  I’m talking about brilliance in terms of what God has placed in her to shine in this world.

God has created us intricately and he has made us multifaceted.  Today is the day that we are going to look at two of the stamps that he has placed on our lives and we are going to celebrate all that he has done for us and through us.

Just so I won’t be one-sided on this matter, I’ve decided to give the stage up to my husband, Ed Young, who is going to join me so we can be fair in our discussion of talking about women.  Thanks, Ed, for joining me.

Ed:  Thank you, Lisa.  You know, one of the things that Lisa and I like to do is to lift weights together.  We work out in a little gym in Grapevine.  About a month and a half ago, I was talking to a friend who is in our student ministry here at Fellowship.  The guy is about 17 or 18 years of age.  His name is Adam Marr.  Adam was asking me, “Ed, what is the next series that you are going to do?  What are you going to talk about?”

I said, “Adam, we are doing a series called Men and Women.  We are going to see what the Bible says about how to be a true man or woman.”

He said, “That will be great.  I’m looking forward to it.”

I said, “Thank you, Adam.”

Then he said, “Ed, do you mind if I give you some advice about women?”

Here I am looking at this guy who is about 17 years of age, a senior at Grapevine High School and I said, “Yes, Adam, I am all ears.  Give me some advice about women.”

Adam says, “Okay, Ed, here it is.  Remember this, Ed.  A woman is like a labyrinth.”

I said, “What’s a labyrinth?”

He said, “A maze.  A woman is complex.”

Now Adam is brilliant beyond his years, isn’t he?  He already has realized that women are like a maze.  Lisa and I began to talk about and research this whole idea of a labyrinth and we found out that a labyrinth dates back to Egyptian times.  For you to negotiate this maze, you had to pray.  I thought that is a relevant point, because, men, if we are going to understand women, we are going to need a lot of prayer in doing so.

Lisa:  I tend to think that we need to focus on that multifaceted brilliance sort of thing, instead of the maze.

Ed:  The Bible talks a lot about men and women.  I’m going to go back to a Verse that has really enlightened a lot of people concerning their masculinity and femininity.  It’s found in the book of Genesis, the first book in the Bible, Genesis 1:27, “So God created man in his own image.  In the image of God, he created him, male and female, he created them.”

That is a classic Verse because God, when he made man, stamped his masculine character qualities on a man’s soul, as Lisa talked about earlier.  When God made woman, he stamped his feminine character qualities on the soul of a woman.  If I am going to be the kind of man I should become, I shouldn’t look to what the world says.  I should look to what God says.  If Lisa is going to be the kind of woman that she needs to be, she shouldn’t look at Cosmo or Glamour or the Hollywood group.  She needs to look at what God says because God has revealed his character through men and women.

A couple of weeks ago, Lisa, I did something that I thought was kind of humorous.  I read a list of seven things you will never hear from your husband.  I want to reVerse that and give you seven things you will never hear from your wife, men.

Right quick, these are seven things you will never hear from your wife.  Seven statements she will never make.

Lisa:  You did not make these up.

Ed:  No, I did not make these up.  I got these off the World Wide Web, so you know that they are legitimate.

Lisa:   You will understand why I want to take credit away from him in just a minute.

Ed:  That’s right.  I did get these off the Web; so if you have a problem with them, don’t get mad at me.  I’ll give you the website where I got these, and you can talk to the person who wrote these.

Seven things you will never hear from your wife:

“What do you mean today is our anniversary?”

“Can we not talk to each other tonight?  I would rather just watch TV.”

“Oh, this diamond is way too big.”

“Honey, does this outfit make my rear look too small?”

“Don’t stop for directions.  I’m sure you will be able to figure out how to get there.”

“I don’t care if it is on sale.  $300 is just way too much for a designer outfit.”

“Hey, pull my finger.”

Those are seven things you will never hear from your wife.  Moving right along.  We are different.  When God created us, he made that obvious.  When Lisa and I were married about twenty years ago, my father who is also a pastor did the wedding.  He talked about a lot of things, but I only remember one thing that he talked about.  I want to show you what he talked about.  He drew this triangle and he discussed the fact that God is at the apex of the triangle.  Man is on the one side and woman on the other.

He talked about, as a man and a woman grow closer to God, what is going to happen is they get closer to each other.  So the secret is the Lord.  The secret is our relationship with him.  As I draw closer to God, I am going to get closer to Lisa and she will get closer to me in this each other type mentality.

Lisa:  Just to clear things up.  During our wedding ceremony, Ed’s dad did not put up a visual or anything.

Ed:  No, he did not.

Lisa:  He just talked about it.

Ed:  Yes.  If you think about the word and the name “Eve” back in the book of Genesis, the name “Eve,” another definition of it, is “one who stands opposite of.”  So again, when God made men and women, he made them different for a beautiful reason.  We are made in his image.  If you think about the whole chromosome thing, women have the XX chromosome and men have the XY chromosomes.  So even down to the core, we are utterly unique.

But that is not why we are here today just to talk about the differences.  We are here to talk about women and the uniqueness of them.

Lisa:  Right.  Anybody can talk about the differences.  It is so obvious, the differences between men and women.  That’s why I like the visual with the triangle because, yes, we are different.  I have a lot of friends who will talk to me about “How in the world can I relate to my spouse or the opposite sex?”  I think many times we get way caught up in how we are going to relate to people of the opposite sex that we forget the main thing we need to be concerned about is that relationship with God, looking to God.  The closer we get to God, the more clearly we can see how God has wired the opposite sex, men vs. women, and guys can see that about women.  Let your attention be focused mainly on knowing who God is, drawing closer to him and then those things will fall into place more clearly.

I think to see the origin, we need to go to the beginning of time in the book of Genesis, Chapter 2, where God created Eve from the side of Adam.  God said that he created Eve as a helper, and some of you, ladies, may get nervous and panicky about that idea, because, if you are not secure in who God made you to be, that’s threatening.

You may be thinking, “Wait a minute.  Helper?  That means I am just here to take care of, to look after.”

That’s part of it.  But in our society today, the word “helper” has been watered down.  There is much more to that word than we can begin to understand based on today’s definition.  The word “helper” was a word intended to mean “complement.”  As God created man as a unique character with unique qualities, he created woman with unique qualities to complement the man.  Adam had his uniqueness and Eve had her uniqueness.  They were created to complement one another so that glory was brought through that complementary relationship.  That’s what the term “helper” means.  Women are given that context and that foundation.

Ed:  Let’s go ahead and talk about the stamps of a woman.  These stamps are so vital.  We are going to talk about four of them, two today and two next weekend.  I think as you see these stamps, ladies, and especially the men here, we will understand better why women are the way they are, and also women will be freed up to become the kind of women that God desires.

The Stamp of NURTURING

This first stamp is a stamp called the nurturing stamp.  Every woman in this place, I think I can safely say, has this nurturing stamp on her soul, Lisa.  When you think about this whole aspect of the nurturing stamp, and when you think about why in the world do women have this nurturing stamp, all we have to do is think about God.  Because our great God is a nurturing God.

I want to read several sections of Scripture that really illustrate this point.  If you have your Bibles, turn to Isaiah 49:15, “Can a mother forget the baby at her breast and have no compassion on the child she has borne.  Though she may forget, (God says) I will not forget you.”

What is he saying there?  He is saying simply this.  A mother would never forget the baby at her breast.  A good mother is not going to dis her child.  God is saying, “My nurturing to my children, my love, my compassion, my care for my kids (that means those of us who are in the family of God) is on a deeper level than an earthly mother has for her children.   That’s a wonderful thing to contemplate, the fact that God wants to nurture us and help us and assist us in these great ways, Lisa.

Then I think about Matthew 23:37, here is what Jesus said as he was praying over the great city of Jerusalem, “Oh, Jerusalem, Jerusalem, you who killed the prophets and stoned those sent to you.  How often I have longed to gather your children together as a hen gathers her chicks under her wings but you were not willing.”

That is the kind of God we serve.  We serve a nurturing God.  He has made it so obvious that he stamped this character quality on the lives of women.

Lisa:   Exactly.  Women have the ability to see needs, I think, much more clearly than men.  We can see where someone is in need, where someone has a need for nurturing.  We are able to fill that need in ways a guy cannot.  I know that I can be more compassionate about certain situations.  I can be more sympathetic and empathetic to people around me.

As far as how this plays out in even our relationship, I know that even after the services on Saturday evening…

Ed:  A lot of people don’t know this, but we have four identical services.  We have two services on Saturday and then we have two on Sunday.

Lisa:  Just like this.  But the 5:00 service is the first one.  After that service, I may go out in the atrium and go get coffee or something. Ed will either send somebody for me or come get me and say, “Come upstairs because I want to ask you what you thought about the message.”  It’s not because he wants me to give him all these points or anything.  He just wants a feminine point of view.  He likes for me to give my take on it.  Sometimes I will say, “I don’t know, Ed.  Maybe if you said it this way.   Or, when you said this, I felt like you weren’t being very sensitive.”  So, I think it helps.

Ed:  A couple of times you have said, “Don’t tell that story again about us.”

Lisa:  Most of the time, if he is going to tell a very personal illustration about our family, he runs it by us or the kids.

Ed:  I get clearance.

Lisa:  If he is going to talk about the children, he doesn’t just come up here and just say things without permission.

Ed:  But some of this really served our church well.  Whenever we plan messages, or we plan dramas or songs, talk about something in our children’s ministry or our student ministry or singles ministry, we try to have a balance of men and women in the room on our staff.  That gives it a real solid foundation.  If it’s all men or all women, it’s kind of slanted one way or another.

Lisa:  Also, if you look at the ministries here at Fellowship Church, because women have been stamped with this nurturing ability, many of the ministries here at the church are fueled by the energy of women.

Ed:  That’s one of the great things about a large church is the fact that we can be so detailed in our ministries.  We have one ministry, Lisa, called “Hand in Hand” ministry over in our Preschool/Children’s area that actually deals with parents who have lost children or those who are going through difficult times.  Who fuels that?  Do men fuel that?  Are you kidding me?  Women fuel that.  That’s just one example.

Lisa:  The beauty of that is that stamp lived out in our lives.   But there are times that our nurturing can become misdirected.

Ed:  Misdirected.  So maybe what women need here, Lisa, would be a misdirectomy.

Lisa:  That’s not exactly what I was saying.

Ed:  Oh, okay.  That was bad.  I know it was.

Lisa:  Sometimes our nurturing can be misdirected.  God has a perfect plan to utilize the stamp of nurturing in our lives, but when we become misdirected, all of a sudden our time and our energies are Pac-Manned and we are not able to focus on that which God has intended for us to do.

Ed:  So you are saying that, as a women, you can sort of OD on nurturing or nurture in the wrong areas and you miss the most important areas.

Lisa:  Right.  It’s just nurturing out of balance.  I have been guilty of this.  I have to really watch out for it.  Because of that compassion, because of the empathy, and sympathy I have for others, I often see people’s needs and jump to be the first one to take care of that need.  Doing so, I often have missed out on nurturing Ed, LeeBeth, E.J., Laurie and Landra over here.  And God has truly called me to be, in our family, the primary nurturer there.  Yet, all my energy is being spent elsewhere.  I find that as I am taking care of everyone else’s needs, maybe a friend, or somebody in my small group at Bible Study, and all that’s well and good, but if it takes away from that primary focus that God called me to, then it is not good.  I see my kids and Ed down by the wayside and that is not good.

Another way, a pitfall for me, is when I go on I guess you could call it nurturing overload, where I am giving, giving, giving, maybe to the right people and in the right context but without receiving replenishment.  This happens when the kids are saying, “Mom, I need this.  And, Mom, remember you have got to do this.”  All of a sudden, my world starts spinning and I am taking care of everyone’s needs.  Ed communicates his needs very well.  He is a great communicator.  He is a great promoter of his needs.  Ed is the Don King of needs.  He can do it.  I, on the other hand, do not communicate my needs.  I tend to keep it all suppressed and then when I get into that nurturing need depletion zone, watch out because a melt down is about to happen.

Sometimes, I am guilty of not early on saying, “Wait a minute, I’ve got to replenish here,” and talking calmly before the meltdown zone happens and really communicating better my needs.

Other times, it manifests itself as far as being out of focus with our nurturing, when we become overprotective of our children, or overprotective in a relationship where we are very exclusive in holding people in and not allowing a little bit of leeway.

Ed:  Wouldn’t you say to all the single women here, Lisa, I know we have seen this before too, that this nurturing thing can be misdirected and, often times, they can make some serious dating mistakes because of this.

Lisa:  Absolutely.  When a single woman, because of that gift and that stamp of nurturing, finds a very needy man, who because of that nurturing, the foundation of their relationship is on her nurturing his needs, and she feels needed.

Ed:  “I can change him.  I can help him.”  And the guy is going, “Mama, Mama.”

Lisa:  That’s not the right foundation.  That’s totally unhealthy, totally misdirected.  But the great thing is that, while we can talk about all this misdirection in our nurturing, God gives us a clear picture of the remedy.

Ed:  Yes, what is the remedy?  What would you say to the women here, Lisa, about how to understand their nurturing stamp and how to use it properly?  Where does it all begin?

Lisa:  God says, “I can redirect you.”  If any of what I just talked about applies to you, he says he can redirect us.  The first way that he redirects us is by reminding us that he is the source of our nurturing power and he is the one who nurtures us.

Ed:  There is no way that women can understand how to use their nurturing gifts and skills unless they are plugged in regularly to the power of God.

Lisa:  Exactly.  The way that women can do that is by daily spending time with God.  Too often, I will look around at my circumstances when there are a lot of demands being put on me as far as my children, or Ed, or someone else’s needs for my nurturing, and I look around and I blame them saying, “You just demand too much from me.”  But really what has happened is I have lost touch with my replenishment from God.  Perhaps I am not having my quiet time everyday as I should.  But I go to blame other people when really I need to look inward and say, “Wait a minute. How is my vertical relationship with God?”  That is just spending time with him everyday.  I can’t face the day the way he wants me to face it if I don’t take time to read his love letter to me, if I don’t take time to pray and talk to him, and that is just the foundation for my day.

Another way that I become replenished is by taking time away from home and my regular schedule to be by myself.  This is a trip.  For me, it’s about a three-day trip to a bed and breakfast in East Texas.  I love to get away and do that.  When I come back, I am totally recharged.  I go away and make it a point to really pray and ask God to show me some areas in my life that perhaps are not what they should be, to show me some ways that we can improve as a family and work to be closer to him.  I even jot down goals, things that I want to do and I feel like God wants me to do in the next year.  I try to do this once a year and it really is great.  Last year, I didn’t go and I could really tell that was lacking.

So, those are two ways that I replenish.   Some people like to get away with girlfriends, and that’s good too.  But I just really challenge you to take some time to be alone so that God can recharge that battery, because only when we are charged up through him can we meet other people’s needs.

Ed:  So you say the first thing is power, plug into the power source.   What else would you say?

Lisa:  We have to be constantly aware that God has given us the ability to be good stewards of our relationships, to find that balance in relationships.  Because if we are not careful, as we said, our nurturing can become misdirected and we can be giving off nurturing in all these places and not really nurturing where God wants us to be.  We can be saying yes to some good things when we really should be saying no to some good things in order to say yes to the best things.  That’s what God intends for us to do as far as his design for our nurturing in relationships.  You have a great example about relationships related to this.

Ed:  Yes, I think in all of our dealings with women in this whole nurturing thing, I think it is important to look lovingly and strategically and intentionally at your relationships.

There are basically three types of relationships that we all have.  The first kind of relationships that we have are the replenishing, the recharging relationship.  That’s the kind of relationship, Lisa, where we are with maybe a couple and go out to eat, have some coffee, look at our watch and go, “Wow, it’s already midnight.  Unbelievable.”

It’s like our batteries have been recharged.  Our batteries have that juice to really go and that’s good to have replenishing relationships.  We are supposed to.

Another kind of relationship would be called what?

Lisa:  Neutral.  That is the relationship where it is give and take.  You give some, you take some.  There is really no replenishing but there is no great draining either.

Ed:  You need to have those too.  Now, the third type of relationship is a whip.  It’s the draining relationship.  It’s the one where you battery has no juice after being with this person.  You are with them for ten minutes and you are wondering if it’s been ten hours.  There is a danger when these relationships get out of balance.  When you look at the life of Jesus, he had a perfect balance of his relationships, the replenishing and recharging relationships, the neutral relationships and the draining relationships.  What do you see about this, Lisa?

Lisa:  I think women have a tendency like I stated before to fall into this pitfall.  But men do too.  It’s important for men to make sure those relationships are balanced in their lives as well.  But Jesus definitely gave us a great example.  I love what Ed has said many times to me, that I’ve got to be sure my needs are being met before I can meet the needs of others.  I tend to say, “Oh, but we need to do this and I think we should go to that.”  But we just can’t.  Schedules do not permit it.  Jesus did not heal everyone.

Ed:  He didn’t fix everyone.  He didn’t counsel everyone.  Read the Gospels, Matthew, Mark, Luke and John, and see how many times Jesus drew away, how many times he took long walks.  So we need this time.

Lisa:  Even within the disciples.  There were some disciples that provided a more neutral relationship for Jesus and then he had an inner circle in the disciples that provided more of a replenishing relationship to him.  Ultimately, what he did was he always drew away, and usually early in the morning to be alone with his heavenly Father.  That’s a great model for us to learn from.

Ed:  So you are saying some women are trying to do what Jesus did not do.  Fix everybody.

Lisa:  Exactly.

Ed:  You were talking to someone the other day and they were saying, “I spent two hours on the phone talking to her,” and you were like…

Lisa:  That’s a warning sign.  Don’t do that.  It’s difficult.  If you are spending two hours on the phone on any given day with someone who’s a close friend, maybe that’s okay.  But if I spent two hours on the phone talking to someone about their needs and nurturing them, I’m not sure where those two hours would come.  I would have to be saying no to my family.  Just be careful.  Be aware of that.  Because you have to gauge those relationships.  Watch out for someone or some area that is Pac-Manning your time.

Ed:  What you are saying, too, is there could be areas where you use the nurturing gift so much that you miss nurturing the most important areas.

Lisa:  Exactly.  But God has given us the remedy.  Plug into his power source on a daily basis so he can keep us in touch and also to watch and be a good steward over the relationships he has given us and keep them in balance.

The Stamp of SECURITY

Ed:  I am standing up to turn over one more stamp, the second stamp.  This will again be no surprise; but let’s talk about it because it is so vital, the stamp of security.

Lisa, ladies have this one all over their lives.  Security.

“I want security.  I want to know that my future is a lock.”

That’s a great need that women have.  Let’s go back to God.  God is a God of security.  A lot of people don’t realize this, but God is.  That is stamped on his character and that is why it is stamped on a woman’s character too.

Ephesians 1:13-14, great verses.  Let me read them for you.  “And you also were included in Christ when you heard the word of truth.”

To become a Christian, you first must hear it.  The Gospel of your salvation, the word “Gospel” simply means good news.  Whenever you hear the word “Gospel” it is good news.

“Having believed,” (that’s the second step, you hear, you believe), “you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit,…”

When you see some legal contracts, when they are stamped, that usually means they are finalized.  That usually means the transaction is complete.  Once Jesus Christ comes into our lives, once he places the Holy Spirit there, we are sealed.  The transaction is complete.

It also refers here to ownership.  What did God do to pay for us?  He sent Jesus Christ to spill his blood on the cross for all of our sins.  The transaction has been completed when we ask Christ into our lives and we are owned by him.

Let’s go to Verse 14, “the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory.”

This word “deposit” means earnest money.  I want to tell you a quick story about Fellowship Church.  Some of you have heard this and some of you have not heard this.  Our church is 12 years old.  We started the church with about 150 people in a little office complex.  We met in office complexes and fine arts theatres and high schools during the first eight years until we finally built this beautiful facility.

About ten years ago, we got together a group of people in real estate, men and women, who are gifted in this area.  They discovered that the Resolution Trust Corporation was offering 159.2 acres for $2.5 million.  Our church was small yet we scraped up enough money to put a down payment on the property.  We owed on this dirt $1.875 million.  That’s a lot of money.  A year later, without a sign on the property, we sold 22 of the 159 acres for $1.875 million.  Is that unbelievable?  Just like that, we own all this property free and clear.

I’m not a real estate expert, Lisa, but I do know this.  In a real estate transaction, the buyer must put up something called earnest money.  Earnest money guarantees that the contract is going to go solid.  This word “deposit” is earnest money.  Who is our earnest money?  The Holy Spirit of God.  The Holy Spirit is God’s first installment that He will consummate and finish the deal and the deal will be finished in heaven as we live forever with him.

What the Bible is saying is simply this.   God is a God who is into security and, those of us who are in Christ, we are secure.  Once we are born again, we can’t be unborn.  We are in.  That’s it.  Signed, sealed and delivered.

Lisa:  And the problem comes because we as women have this stamp of security and we need security.  But we begin looking to culture for this security instead of looking to God.  If you are feeling insecure, the first thing you need to do is understand who your heavenly Father is and establish that relationship with him.  When you establish that relationship with him, your eternal security is done.

Ed:  We are so serious about this whole security thing in God that I’m doing an entire series on self-esteem.  We will see who we are in the eyes of God, because so many of us struggle with self-esteem issues.

Lisa:  If you are looking for security and your first glance is going to be towards friendships or a relationship with a guy, don’t go there.  Look first to God, because he is the provider of our eternal security.  That is where we start.  That’s the first step.

The second thing we need to understand is that God, not only does he take care of our eternal security, but he also promises to take care of our daily security.

Ed:  Let me read Matthew 6, beginning in Verse 25.  Here is what Jesus said.  I think women deal with worry and anxiety probably a little bit more than men do. “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear.”  Continuing in Verse 27, “Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”  Finally, in Verse 31,  “So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’  for the pagans run after these things and your heavenly Father knows that you need them.  But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness and all these things will be given to you as well.”

God is a God of order.  Too often, we have disorder in our lives, and as we look to God, he is the one who gives us that order and that true security.

Lisa:  Definitely, with the stamp of security on women, we see that women have that need, that tendency toward order.  I am a person of order.  I enjoy things being together, with it planned out.  I don’t function well when things are up in the air.  Sometimes that can be to a fault, and you have to be careful if ever your orderliness takes away flexibility.  There is a balance.  We should always have flexibility.  But I like for things to be in order.  If I start my day and make the bed, that’s the first step toward a clean-living day.  I can tell it’s going to be good.  I move from there to the next spot and I am on my way to an established order.  But I can tell you this.  In a household with a husband, four children, four dogs and four cats, there is not always order.  And I have to live with that fact.  But I am the one who does bring a lot of order to that household.

Women tend to be the thermostat to the household.

Ed:  Wise men will take cues from women in this realm.  Usually when a woman is saying, “This is kind of wild.  This is getting out control.  We are starting to hydroplane,” a man should recognize that this is the thermostat talking.

Lisa:  Your personality tends to be a little more spur of the moment, a little more like, “That sounds like fun.  Let’s go do that.”  And I tend to be, “Wait a minute.  That wasn’t in the plan.”

So he and I have helped each other in that regard.  I have learned to be a little more spontaneous, spur of the moment.

Ed:  I bet you have helped me in that realm more than I have helped you.

Lisa:  Really?

Ed:  Yes.

Lisa:  Are you saying I’m rigid?

Ed:  No, you are not rigid at all.  Not at all.  You have helped me because I have not lived as much by a schedule until you and I got married.  We have a schedule and it has helped my work and play and everything.

Lisa:  Part of that is how you were reared.  Ed grew up in a house where his parents were very organized, but they weren’t as planned out and futuristic in their thinking as my parents.  My dad, when we would go on a family vacation, three months ahead would call AAA, get the maps, highlight them with a yellow highlighter for the street, green one for the hotel.  It was a little bit of overload.

Ed:  Our family was more like the Griswold’s, just out there.  But going back to security, Lisa, we see so many women looking to security and looking for it in wrong areas.  I think oftentimes, women will even give their body sexually in a dead-end relationship just for that need of security.  Or they will be so into looking a certain way, taking their cues from others, that they miss that security from God.

Also, I have a close friend who is a marriage and family therapist, and he told me something profound about women and men.  He said that when a woman in a marriage, for example, has an unmet need, she will begin to control and manipulate.  Men, have you ever seen a women try to control and manipulate?  Don’t answer that.  That happens because there is an unmet need in their life.  He said that most guys are clueless about it and they miss it.  He said a man, for example, will talk about the future with the person he is dating, or, if he is married, with his wife.  Then that meets a woman’s need for security, because the reason she is trying to control and manipulate could be because she has an unmet need in the realm of security.  So, if we will talk about what’s going to happen, and talk about the future and solidify some stuff, all of a sudden wind is in her sail and you can see her just take off.

Lisa:  I always struggle in our relationship when Ed says, “Well, I’m not really sure how we are going to do it, but I’ll let you know later.”

I don’t like that.  But when Ed says, “This is what we are going to do.  I’ve got the plans made.”

I’m thinking that is so great.  It really charges me.

Ed:  Lisa, think about what Jesus said, and I talked about it last week, when he said, “I will never leave you.  I will never forsake you.”  What was he doing?  He was saying, “You are secure in me.  I am never going to turn my back on you.”

Lisa:  And it’s not that I am looking to you for total security.  But God has placed you in my life to provide security.

Ed:  Yes, women mess up when they think a man will give them security.  That is not going to happen.

Lisa:  But God uses you to provide security on a day-to-day basis.

Ed:  Yes, some security men will give, but not the ultimate security.  Lisa, thank you for being up here.

Lisa:  I am totally excited that we are here to celebrate these stamps because, even though we are multifaceted and we are intricate, that’s a cool thing.  And there is so much that God wants to do in us and through us to celebrate this life.

Ed:  These were two stamps.  We are going to talk about two more stamps next week that are huge.