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POOR BOY

Got to Give

November 13, 2010

Ed Young

Let’s pray together in all of our campuses.  Remain standing in Miami, Dallas, Fort Worth, Plano, and right here in Grapevine.

Father, you’ve brought us here today for a reason and that is to do business in our lives.  And I pray, Father, that we understand your heart and your passion for our lives.  And I ask that our hearts would be receptive and open to what you’re going to do in them today.  Right now, use my vocal cords, my voice box to communicate your truth to all of us.  We ask all these things in Jesus’ name.  Amen.

Now, while you’re being seated I want you to turn around and ask someone, “Hey, do you got the poverty mentality?”  I know it’s kind of negative, but ask everybody, “Do you got the poverty mentality?”

I’m in a series called the poverty mentality.  And it’s been a kind of unique pilgrimage, because we’ve been arguing around here that the poverty mentality is a mentality.  It’s a spiritual issue.

Maybe this is your first time to Fellowship Church.  You’re going, “Wait a minute, you’re talking about a poverty mentality.  Ed, what in the world is that?”  Maybe you find yourself in Miami or downtown Dallas, Fort Worth, Plano, maybe you’re watching this online, maybe you’ll watch this on television and you’re like, “What is a poverty mentality?”

The poverty mentality is simply this.  It’s an attitude of ineptitude that leads to ingratitude.  It’s a mentality that focuses on what we lack, not what we should leverage.  In other words, I’m so into what’s missing in my life, I’m so into what I don’t have and what others have, I miss the majesty of the moment.  I miss what God wants to do right now in my life.

The Bible is crystal clear.  The Bible says that when we do what God says, God will bless us.  In fact, for God not to bless us would be for God to go against his nature.  So, he’s gonna bless us as we live the life.

However, we don’t live the life just for blessings.  We don’t go, “OK, this is kind of a little game.  I’m gonna do, God, what you say and BOOM!  I’m gonna be blessed!”

Yes, we will get blessed, but we live for God because we’re hardwired to live for Him.  The result of that is to be in the sweet spot of his success.

Whenever you have people living for God, we’re always gonna fight this mentality.  We’re always gonna fight this poverty mentality.  Focusing on what we lack as opposed to what we can leverage.  In marriage, in your career, on the team, in the classroom, the poverty mentality, the poor boy mentality versus the More Boy or More Girl mentality.

Our God is a God of the more.  The Bible says that Jesus came for us to have a life of More.  I’m not talking about stuff.  I’m not talking about materialism.  No, no.  More.  Jesus said, “I want to  give you an abundant life.”  That’s a life overflowing.  That’s a life of more.  That’s getting into the flow and the current of following Jesus Christ.

So maybe, just maybe, you’re like, “OK, poor boy mentality.  I’m not sure I have it.  I’m not sure I’ve got the poor boy mentality.”

All of us struggle with the poor boy mentality.  I do, you do.  Well how do you know if you’re really into the poor boy mentality?  Right about now you’re thinking, “OK, this message is for someone else.  This message is for my spouse.  This message is for my friend who’s not here and I’m gonna get the tape and give them this tape.”

If that’s what you’re thinking, whoa man, you probably are living in the poverty mentality.

But I wanted to help all of us who kind of go in and go out of the poverty mentality.  I want to help us to see if we are poor-boying it.  I have written down 10 statements that sometimes we make.  And if we make these statements, that’s right, we have the poor boy mentality.  Do you want to see if you live in the poverty mentality?  I can tell you do!  Yeah, I want to see if I’m in the poverty mentality.

#1 – “If I had grown up in that family…”  If I had grown up in that family, if they had been my parents, wow, things would be different!  You see we’re thinking about not what we have but what we don’t have.

#2 – “If I had that job…”  If I worked for that corporation, if I had that position, things would be different.

#3 – “If I had that much time…”  Girl, if I had as much time as she had I could look like that!  If I had as much time as he had to work on his short game, I’m telling you I’d be right there!  I’d be on the tour, man!

#4 – “If I had that talent…”  You might have just thought this.  If I had that talent.  This young girl that sang, she’s like 16 years old!  “Oh if I had her voice!”  If I could run like that…  If I had that strength. If I had that brain…

#5 – “If I had attended that school…”  If I had gone there, I’m telling you, I’d be crazy, man!

#6 – “If I had those opportunities…”  I mean, look at that dude!  Things just fall right into his lap!  If I had those opportunities things would be totally different!

#7 – “If I lived there…”  If my daughter had been brought up in Hollywood she would be on the silver screen right now!  That’s a problem.  I’m living in Miami or I’m living in north Dallas.  I’m telling you if we had been in Hollywood, or if I had grown up in Manhattan, or Hawaii, or wherever…

#8 – “If I had started with that much money…”  I know a friend of mine, he’s a trustafarian.  A trust-fund baby.  He just started out with a hunk of money.  No wonder he’s so successful!  Or no wonder she’s this or that!

#9 – “If I had those contacts…”  Yeah, man, but look at his contacts!  Look who she knows!  Look who their family is related to!

Now this last one, before we put it up.  Do not, like, shake your head, or laugh or raise your hand.  It’s highly, highly convicting.  Just lock eyes with me.  Act like everything is cool, OK… the tenth one…

#10 – “If I had married her…. or him.”  Don’t laugh too much.

The poor boy mentality!  You’re focusing on what you lack rather than what you have!  You’re focusing on, oh yeah, if I was married to her or him.  If I had that job, that opportunity, that education, that bank account, things would be different!

The poor boy mentality is something we all struggle with.  It’s the attitude of ineptitude that leads to ingratitude.  It’s focusing on what we’re missing rather than what God wants to do right now in our lives.

If you have your Bibles, turn to the book of John 12.  This is a classic, classic text on the poverty mentality.  The situation is this.  Jesus is on his way to the cross.  It’s about a week before the Passover.  He’s stopping in Bethany at a friend’s house, Simon, the leper, a guy that Jesus had miraculously healed.  This guy had a lot of money.  His friend Lazarus was there.  Lazarus, the guy that Jesus had just brought back from the grave.  Martha was there, cooking.  Mary was there.  The disciples were there.  All the Jewish people were there.  Why were the Jews there?  They wanted to get up close and personal with Jesus but also with Lazarus.  They wanted to see this guy because the rumor mill had it that Jesus had brought this guy back from the grave.  And the bloggers had been talking about it, and the Jewish people had seen some tweets or whatever.  So they went to the house of Simon, the leper, to see if indeed this was true.  Sure enough, it was, and they were blown away.

Well, we have, in effect, the poor boy mentality in John 12.  If you ever wonder about it, if you ever think the poor boy mentality is a new thing, no, no.  It’s an old thing!

Once again, the poor boy mentality once again is not a tangible thing.  It’s an intangible thing.  Materialism is not tangible.  What?  No, no, no.  I ask you, what constitutes materialism?  What size house?  What neighborhood?  What model and make of a car?  What size diamond?  What kind of watch?  What kind of vacation destination makes you materialistic or makes me materialistic?  Answer:  You don’t know.

Materialism, though, begins where your income and my income ends.  “Oh, she’s materialistic.  She makes $1 more.  He’s materialistic, he makes $1 more.”  The poverty spirit, the poverty mentality is all wrapped up together.  So we find here this mentality in John 12, back in the day.

Well here’s the deal.  Poor boys fail to see opportunities.  That’s so important.  Say that with me.  Poor boys fail to see opportunities.  They have jacked up eyesight. They can’t really see.  Let me read, John 12:1-2.  “Six days before the Passover feast Jesus went to Bethany where Lazarus lived.” 

(Lazarus, the dude Christ raised from the dead.)  They had this party for Jesus celebrating, worshiping.  I mean it was an awesome time!  Martha served the food.  Lazarus was one of the people eating with Jesus.  So what I want you to get is this.  Jesus was in the house.  He was in the house.  Mary saw this opportunity and here’s the situation.

People who are more boys and not poor boys take advantage of the opportunity.  When they have an opportunity for Jesus they jump on the opportunity.  When they have an opportunity in life they’re not worried about the opportunities others have.  They’re not worried about the opportunities they’re missing or they should have had, no!  They’re going, “You know what, God’s blessed me.  Here’s an opportunity, I’m there!”

So when you think it, say it.  When you think it, do it!  That’s what Mary did.  She saw an opening, she saw an opportunity, she saw a chance to worship Jesus and every time you see Mary, Mary is always at the feet of Jesus.  Always, always!  What a place to be, at the feet of Jesus.  She worshipped him.  She thought it and she did it.

Illus: A couple of weeks ago we were getting ready for church.  Lisa walked out and she had on a beautiful outfit.  And I thought to myself, “Man, my wife is hot!  She looks great!”  I thought that.  I didn’t say it, but I thought it.  We went to church, several people said, “Oh Lisa, you look great today.”  We went out to lunch and some other people said, “Lisa, you look beautiful today.”  We got home, I don’t know it was about 4:00 and I thought, “I’m gonna say it.”  I said, “Lisa, you look great today!”  She looked at me and she said, “You’re too late.  Why did you wait so long to tell me?”

Hey guys, why are you waiting so long to tell your spouse how great she looks?  Ladies, why are you waiting so long to do something unselfish for your husband?  Parents, why are you waiting so long?  Don’t just think it, do it!  We have an opportunity for God; we have an opportunity for God, right here, at this great church.  Step up and do it!

The poverty mentality, man, the poverty mentality will mess you up.  You fail to see opportunities.  You’re so focused on other people’s opportunities.  You have this entitlement mentality, this “something for nothing” mentality that it keeps you incarcerated, it keeps you on the banks of the river watching the current flow as opposed to getting into the current and doing what God wants you to do.

Let’s see something else about the poverty mentality.  Look at John 12:3-4.  If you have the poverty mentality you’re always going to dam up the flow.  You’re gonna dam up the flow.  What did Mary do?  Mary let it flow.  What did Mary do?  She bought some seriously expensive perfume.  She brought the bottle out and Jesus was there and she poured this perfume on the feet of Jesus, anointing his feet for his burial.  And this perfume, ladies, was so expensive it cost a year’s worth of wages.  That’s some expensive cologne.  Mary didn’t hold back.  She saw the opportunity, she went for it, then she poured it out.

When we are in God’s economy, when we’re in God’s flow, when we’re in God’s currency, what are we doing?  Things are coming out.  Things are getting to us and through us.  We’re affirming others, we’re loving others, we’re being unselfish with others, we’re in the flow.  We’re in the current.  The poverty mentality always dams up the flow.

Illus: My family and I live sort of on Lake Grapevine.  We live back from the lake.  Lake Grapevine is one of the most beautiful bodies of water in the world!  People come from everywhere to see Lake Grapevine.  It’s one of the few places in the world where you can enjoy a nice chicken-fried steak while you watch the white bass and gar swim around.   We live back from the lake.  You can see the lake in the distance but there’s a pond in the Corp of Engineer property right in front of our house. And this pond has a little creek that snakes its way into the beautiful turquoise waters of Lake Grapevine.  We have lived in this house for six years.

Years ago I remember walking outside one evening and I looked at the pond and I have a hard time seeing in the evening because I have a stigmatism.  And I’m like, “What is that swimming in the water?”  I see this big old bucket-head of an animal swimming, kicking up a wake!  You know what it was?  A big old beaver.  Then I saw the beaver’s wife.  Two beavers.  I mean these things are huge.  I took a picture of one time, I don’t know where it is.  But this thing was like ears pierced, goatee, some tats right there.  Unbelievable!  I’ve seen these two beavers year after year after year.

One time I thought they were gone.  I hadn’t seen them but sure enough.  These things work.  They work and work and work and the poor beavers, they’re trying to dam up this little pond.  And I’m thinking, they have no idea really in their little beaver brains that this giant lake is out there. But here they are trying to mess around with a little pond, with their little environment, their little deal, it’s all about them.  Two big old mature beavers.

Beavers dam up the flow!  Poor boys dam up the flow.  Always damming up the flow and they dam up the flow and it gets all algae and amoeba everywhere and it’s just gross.  It’ll make you sick.

Are you someone who dams up the flow?  Are you standing on the banks and watching the current go by and always damming up the flow?  That’s what Judas did.

Judas didn’t like the fact that Mary was in the flow.  Mary let the perfume flow, expensive perfume.  And Judas was like, “What are you doing, man?  What are you doing wasting that perfume?”

Why was Judas saying that?  Why was Judas Iscariot, the guy who would later betray Jesus, why was he saying that to Mary?  The Bible says that he said, “Hey Mary, we could take that perfume, put it on Craig’s List, sell it, and pocket the money.  And we could then give the money to the impoverished, to the poor people around the world.”  Come on, Judas!  What are you smoking, Judas?

Judas, don’t put your junk in my trunk.  Judas was trying to get the spotlight off of himself and onto Mary.  He did not care about the poor.  Are you kidding me?  That’s the oldest trick in the book.  He just wanted everything off of his envy and his greed, and Mary reminded him of what he was not.  Mary was in the flow, he was damming up the flow.

Are you damming up the flow?  Are you stopping the flow?  Or are you in it, are you about the current.  Poor boys fail to see opportunities.  They dam up the flow.

I love the last part of John 12:3 where it says, “The fragrance filled the house.”

As you think about your life, what kind of fragrance are you giving off?  A fragrance of generosity?  Fragrance of more boy mentality or the poor boy mentality.  Because if you have the poor boy mentality and you call yourself a follower of Christ, you can give the body of Christ B.O.

The poor boy mentality is a mentality that creates diversions.  That’s what I’m trying to say that Judas did.  Yeah, they mess up opportunities and they dam up the flow but they create diversions.

Read John 12: 5-6.  This perfume was worth an entire year’s wages.  “Why, (say why with me)…. Why wasn’t it sold and the money given to the poor.”

Why?  Why?  Why?  Why?  Why?  That’s the language of the poor boy.  Why?  Why? Why?  Why?  Why?  Add an –ine to it.. whine!  Why-whine?  Something for nothing.  This entitlement mentality.  Why?  Why?  Why?  Those, though, who are more boys say, “Why not?”  Say it with me.  Why not?

And let me tell you something leaders. You better have people around you who are why-not people.  Because if you’ve got a why-baby around you, you will never ever discover the placed and the zones that God wants you to go to because you’ll be surrounded by these why-people.

Judas, don’t put your junk in my trunk!  Judas, who you hatin’ on, man?  We want to get the spotlight off of ourselves and onto others.  We create a diversion.  You show me somebody that expresses their love to God and I will show you a critic.  Every time you have an act of worship or an act of sacrifice, there is always a critic who will complain.

Have you seen all of this bullying going on?  Have you heard about it?  Have you read about it?   Students being bullied all the time.  Students standing up for what’s right, standing up for the Lord, being bullied, taken advantage of, and messed around?

You know, students, that means you’re doing something right.  You’re gonna have haters.  You’re gonna have people who will complain about you.  There is always gonna be a Judas at your table.  You’re gonna get betrayed.  It’s part of it.  You only get betrayed by people you trust.  You can’t get betrayed by someone you don’t trust.

Illus: I had something crazy happen to me years ago.  I’m gonna share this with you because this is just an amazing story.  A friend of mine called me and he said, “Ed, God told me to give you and Lisa a brand new Suburban.”  At the time Lisa and I had a bunch of younger kids.  We have a bunch of kids now, four, but they were young.  And I said, “Hey, thank you so much for your generosity but I don’t need a Suburban.  I just bought Lisa a car.  I’ve got a car, I don’t need it.”  He goes, “You don’t understand.  I didn’t hear an audible voice but I know God told me to give you this Suburban.  Whether you like it or not the Suburban is being delivered to your office tomorrow.”

What do you do?  There’s a brand new Suburban.  I’m thinking to myself, we’ve got to clap.   Right now!  Someone just giving you a car, come on!  I did not even need it.  I definitely don’t deserve it. Brand new Suburban, black, beautiful car.  So I thought, “OK, I will sell the car I just bought Lisa and pocket the money.  That’s pretty smart, isn’t it?”  Clap right now.  That’s smart.  Oh yeah, Ed’s gonna make some money!

Well right when that happened, this is how God works, I walked down the hall from my office to another office and someone said,

“There’s a family at Fellowship Church, pastor.  They have two physically challenged kids.  They need a van.”  I said,

“What?”

“They need a brand new van to carry their kids around in.  Do you know anybody who has the money to buy them a van?”   You know what my first thought was?  I will tell you, I want to keep it real.

“Oh crap.”  That’s what I thought.   And I knew that God, again, I’ve never heard an audible voice, was leading me.  “Ed, sell the car, take the money, buy the van.  You and Lisa bless a family with the van.”  So I knew it.  I sold Lisa’s car, pocketed the money, and now, there’s always that fear of the unknown when it comes to generosity.  Am I right?  It’s fearful out there!  Whoa!  Those currents, wow.  If you have the poor boy mentality fear will trump faith.  If you have the more boy mentality faith will trump fear.

Well I’m getting ready to buy the van.  I have it picked it out and the fear gets bigger.  It turns into like Goliath.  Because my accountant calls me on the phone.  This was years ago.  She goes, “Ed, I’m so sorry.”  And those aren’t words you like to hear from your accountant.  I thought you owed this much but you owe like double what I thought.  So here’s what you owe.”  I’m like, I can’t buy this van!  I’ve got to put four kids through school.  I’m not gonna do it.  It would be ridiculous, crazy, stupid.  And I told Lisa about it.  She said,

“Ed, God told us to do it.  I know it’s crazy.  I know it’s a bone-chilling gift.  God told us to do it.  We either trust him or we don’t.”   I said OK.  So, we bought the van, blessed the family with the van.  Our little kids were out there, they watched this take place.  It was one of those unbelievable, God-ordained moments.  To this day I don’t know why God allowed that to happen but it was a cool, cool deal.  And the family drove the van until literally the wheels fell off of it.  It was a great, great thing.

So after that happened I thought, I need to share that with Fellowship.  It just happened out of the blue!  It just, boom, happened!  So years and years ago I was standing at Fellowship Church, share the whole story, the story I just shared with you and people were like, “Wow that’s awesome!”  and I talked about generosity and the struggle that I have and that we all have.  And I shared that Saturday and also Sunday.

On Tuesday I get an e-mail from someone who was at church.  And I read it and it’s one of the most hateful, mean-spirited, arrogant, condescending, super-spiritual emails I have ever received in my life.  It was ripping Lisa and I and our family apart for doing that and for sharing that.

Whenever, whenever you do anything or I do anything at the feet of Jesus, whenever we pour out our lives we’re gonna have a critic who will complain.  That’s OK.  That reminds you and me that we’re doing what God wants us to do.   So just go for it!

There’s one more.  Poor boys fail to see opportunity so we dam up the flow.  We create diversions.  Oh, man, I don’t want you to see my greed or my envy so I will just push it off on Mary.  The last thing we do, the fourth thing (I could go on and on, that will be next week).  Poor boys take snapshots.

Look what Jesus said in John 12:7.  Jesus answered, I mean he’s coming back in Judas’ face, I mean he’s up in his grill right here.  “Leave her alone!  It was right for her to save this perfume for today, the day for me to be prepared for burial.” 

And after this, you keep reading, you know what Judas did?  Judas left, bolted, met with the religious leaders.  The whole 30 pieces of silver thing and he planned the betrayal of his savior.  Right after this.  What was Jesus saying?

“Judas, you still don’t get it!  You’ve just taken a snapshot of Mary, who has been blessed, pouring out expensive perfume on my feet, preparing for my burial.  You still don’t get it!”

Illus: I have a friend of mine, he’s a phenomenal photographer, his name is Pat Ford.  Pat sometimes will e-mail me these pictures.  I will just scroll through them on my iPhone.  Like, whoa!  Wow! Look at that!  How did he get that shot?  I’m going on and on through these pictures.  If I’m not careful I will just look at the snapshots and go, “Oh, epic picture!  Oh cool!  Look at that!” and I will just go on about my business.  What I should think, though, is all of the time and energy and effort and expense that Pat went through just to snag that photo.  I can’t base that photo just on the snapshot.  I’ve got to think about the whole thing.

When I get into my poor boy mentality and when you get into your poor boy mentality, we’re just focusing on the snapshot.  We’re missing the process.  We’re missing the entire movie.  And the enemy wants us to just lock in on the snapshot because he knows if we see the whole movie it’ll motivate us and stimulate us to leverage our blessings for greatness.

It’s time to turn into a more boy or a more girl.  To speak life, truth, vision, to seize those opportunities, to go with the flow.  To say, “God, I want to be real before you.  And I want to see your redemptive plan you have for me.” Because when we do it we’ll be in the sweet spot of God’s success.  When we do it God will bless us and we’ll discover what he has for us as we know about the glorious riches that we can tap into in Christ, Jesus, our Lord.

I don’t know about you but I needed this word today. It’s something that I struggle with and we all do.  Next time (you’re gonna love this) we’re gonna talk about our words.  We’re gonna talk about how we can speak words of life versus words of death.  Think about your relationships, think about your career, think about your kids.  Are you speaking life or death?  Generosity or poverty?  We’re gonna see what God says about our speech.  Because as we have talked about, everything comes from the heart.  Do you have the heart of Mary or Judas?

[Ed leads in closing prayer.]

LESSER KNOWN PERSONALITIES OF THE BIBLE

Doeg

February 28, 2009- March 1, 2009

Ed Young

I’m beginning a brand new series of talks today called, “Lesser Known Personalities of the Bible.” It’s fascinating how we know about the major personalities: Abraham and Isaac, Jonah, the disciples, Jesus, Paul, Timothy. And we understand these characters. Yet, many times we don’t really see and notice the lesser known personalities of Scripture.

Well in this series of talks, I want to take the lesser known and make them well known. I want to take those who are sort of in the shadows and bring them out into the light. I want to take those who don’t have very much ink and let’s give them a lot of ink, because everybody is mentioned in Scripture for a reason.

Lesser known personalities. You might say, “Well Ed, I feel like I’m lesser known.”

In God’s economy, though, you’re well known. He wants you to play a huge role in his redemptive story. And I’m going to tell you something. I’ll make you a great promise. After we study and lift off the pages of Scripture these lesser known personalities, you will not believe what you’ll learn and you’ll not believe what you can apply in your life. Because I want to basically give you the application, the skinny on the gimme, as we talk about these men and women.

Now, the first person we’re going to talk about, you might be asking, “Who are we going to talk about? Could it be Adoni-bezek, could it be Elisha’s servant, could it be Mephibosheth, could it be…?”

It’s going to be someone that you maybe have heard about a little bit, but you’ve never heard a message on this person. In fact, I went online and only found one sermon, one Bible study on this person. Here’s the first lesser known personality of the Bible. Drum roll, please. Everybody, come on. Doeg, the Edomite.

You might be asking, “Doeg the Edomite? Who is Doeg?”

Well, Doeg. D-O-E-G, drop the ‘e’ you’ve got dog. That’s a good way to remember him, because this guy was a dog. And I have learned something as I have been studying Doeg the Edomite.

One of the reasons we don’t know a lot about him is because his story is too convicting. It gets up in my chili. It gets next to you and your make-up. Close enough, guys, to smell your cologne. I mean this is really, really convicting stuff. Because Doeg the Edomite dealt in something that our culture deals with so much – slander.

Doeg killed with the sword of slander. He had many casualties. They weren’t the last, though, killed by the sword of slander. We like slander. Let’s just face it. I like to slander people, don’t you?

What is slander? Slander is telling the truth, but not the whole truth. It’s telling the truth about someone in order to damage them. It’s giving contents without the context of the situation. That’s what it means when I slander someone or when you slander someone.

But it doesn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out that there are always Doegs out there. There are always people who purpose evil in their heart. There’s always that man or that women, that student, that situation where someone is just waiting to dog you out. That is why we probably don’t know that much about Doeg, because his story is so, so convicting. It steps on our toes in such a profound way.

If you have your Bibles, turn to the book of 1 Samuel. 1 Samuel 21:7.

Now, I see some of you are automatically looking toward the side screens because you’re used to view-a-verse. You say, “Hey, Fellowship Church. You have all these campuses all over the Dallas-Fort Worth area, in Miami and you’re on the bleeding edge of technology. It’s kind of an easy thing to kick back and read the verses while, Ed, you talk. And I don’t have to bring my Bible. I don’t even own a Bible.”

Well, guess what? View-a-verse is gone. It’s gone. I’m going to challenge you to do something radical. This is really freaky. Buy a Bible. I know it’s hard to get your mind around it, but just purchase a Bible. More often than not, I use the New International Version.

“Well, I can’t afford one.”

My wife bought one at a flea market yesterday for one dollar. If you can’t afford one, we’ll give you one. But buy a good Bible. It’s the best money you’ll ever spend. Go to our resource store or go to the mall, go wherever. There is a Bible just for you. And I recommend a New International Version.

Because you see the Cowboys play; or if you’re watching from Miami, you see the Dolphins play. You want to know the players; you want to read the program.

“Ok, how tall they are? How fast they are? Where do they come from?”

Well, the same is true with Scripture. We need to know the Scripture. So those of us who have our Bibles, turn to 1 Samuel 21:7. If you don’t have one, share. Some of you single, man, you might meet the right one. Church is where I met my wife.

1 Samuel 21:7. Now, just hold that just for a second. Hold that page just for a second. In my Bible its page, let’s see, 468 in my Bible. Ha ha! Hold that page.

Here’s the context. You remember King Saul, in the Old Testament? King Saul. I call him psycho Saul. Saul led the nation of Israel. The Bible says that he was tall, head and shoulders above the rest. He probably stood six feet, six inches tall which back in the day was like gargantuan. Very handsome. Long flowing black hair.

Saul had a jealousy problem. David killed Goliath. Saul should have been the one fighting Goliath. He wasn’t. He sent the little Hebrew hillbilly out there to fight this giant. David won the battle. When David returned to Jerusalem, all the women begin to cheer. “Saul has killed his thousands, David his tens of thousands. Saul has slain his thousands, David, his tens of thousands.”

And that cheer, thank you very much, began to echo in the recesses of everyone’s mind, especially in the mind of Saul who was eaten up with envy. And then Scripture says that from that day forward, Saul cast an evil eye on David. He purposed evil in his heart. He was jealous of David.

I’m giving you the Cliff’s notes, here, the Wikipedia; Saul gave David like his daughter in marriage, and put David in charge of this military campaign and that military campaign. David was a poetic genius, a musical genius. He was a military genius. They still study his military strategies today at West Point.

He would play music for Saul. And basically, Saul tried to take a spear and pin David against the wall. He tried to kill David. And David had done all this great stuff for the King. But Saul was eaten up with envy and jealousy.

So here’s what David does. David turns and runs. I mean here’s the most powerful guy around trying to kill you. Well, what do you do? You run! Well David ran. Where did David run to? David ran to Nob.

Nob is a unique town. Say Nob with me. “Nob.” You can see the town of Nob from Jerusalem. He ran to this place where all the priests hung out. When he got to Nob, the Bible says the high priest, I mean, the main man, Ahimelech (don’t let these names mess you up) greeted David.

And David did not want to get Ahimelech and all the other priests involved in all this craziness. So David said, “Hey, I’m on secret business from King Saul. I need some food and I need a weapon.”

And he didn’t want to get them all messed up in this whole scenario. So Ahimelech was like, “Oh David, I mean, you’re the man. Uh, you know I’ve heard about you taking out Goliath and you’ve led on all these military campaigns and you’re a genius musically and poetically. Here’s some shewbread, some bread consecrated for the priests to eat. And here is the only weapon we have at Nob.” And he pulled out the big honkin’ sword of Goliath. The sword that David used to chop the giant’s head off. He gave that sword to David.

So David had a weapon. David had some food. He’s nourished, he’s got a weapon and he left Nob, because Saul, psycho Saul, was in high speed pursuit. As David left Nob, the Scripture kind of tosses this in, this lesser known personality. The Scripture kind of just alludes to this guy.

1 Samuel 21:7. As David’s leaving, here we go. “Now one of Saul’s servants was there that day, detained before the Lord. He was Doeg the Edomite, Saul’s head shepherd.”

Doeg, I mean, he’s a dog. I mean, who is Doeg? He’s Saul’s head shepherd. David, as you read on, when he saw Doeg, knew that Doeg purposed evil in his heart.

I mean, let’s just talk for a second. Have you ever been around your company, have you ever been around the office, have you ever been walking through a mall, a church or whatever, maybe a family reunion, and you see someone and you go, “Wow! That girl is purposing evil in her heart.” Have you ever felt that. Am I the only one? Or have you ever said, “Oh, that guy is gonna dog me out. That guy is like Doeg the Edomite. He’s purposing evil in his heart.”

David knew it. David’s Cra-zar went off. “This guy is going to try to mess me around.”

Whenever you have any success in life; whenever you’re blessed in anything you can think about, whether it is academically, whether it is in the church world, whether it is in the society page or society; whether you are some entrepreneur, or whether you’re some philanthropist or whatever you do; whenever you are blessed, whenever you have any kind of success, what happens? There’s always going to be those Doegs to dog you out. There’s always going to be those people to slander you, to mess you around, to give the truth but not the whole truth, to give the contents but not really the context.

Illus: My good friend Brian Houston, who pastors Hillsong church in Sidney Australia, and also locations all over the world, told me about something the last time I was in Australia called the TPS. He said, “Ed, it’s the TPS.”

I said, “What’s that?”

He said, “The Tall Poppy Syndrome.” He said that in Australia and New Zealand, picture, he said, a field of poppies. When one poppy grows taller than the others, the other poppies want to chop it down.

We have that problem, don’t we, in today’s world? One poppy grows taller, one poppy is blessed, one poppy receives a windfall, one poppy works harder than the other, and all of us who are the other poppies go, “Let’s just chop her down. Let’s just chop him down!”

Dirty laundry. Innuendos. Telling the truth about someone in order to hurt them. Giving the contents but leaving out the context. It’s vicious. There is nothing like slander.

I’ve grown up in the ministry. My father pastors one of the largest churches in the world. He’s been on television for decades. So I’ve grown up in the aquarium, grown up in the fish-bowl. I can’t remember a time in my life where masses of people didn’t recognize me just because I was his son. Then, being a pastor and doing all of this, I am well acquainted with life in the aquarium.

I’ve discovered something. Slander happens. Slander, what I’m talking about, almost destroyed Fellowship Church in its embryonic stages. What I’m talking about is real. What I’m talking about can tear you up. What I’m talking about is we live in a defamation-nation. We live in a nation that loves to tear people apart.

Think about the top two cyber-sins. The first, of course is the whole lust / porn industry. The second one has got to be slander. All of the blogs and the twittering and all of that stuff. Most of it is all about the innuendo. Most of it is the content without the context. Most of it is the truth, but not the whole truth. And if you’re in any kind of leadership position, please, I beg you, always consider the source when you’re reading something, when you’re hearing something. Because there’s always a story behind the story.

But I don’t know about you, I just love negativity. I mean I do. I want to hear some bad stuff about people, don’t you? Come on. Don’t be lying, this is church. We just love it.

Why do I love it? Why do you love it? Why do you love it? You know why? It’s our sin nature. It’s our depravity. We just love seeing people kind of mess up. We love seeing people stumble. Because it makes us feel better about ourselves. That’s why we like to read and listen to all this celebrity gossip, you know. All the tabloids and stuff make me feel better about myself.

“If they’re experiencing that, oh, I’m not nearly as bad as… Well, you know, I’m feeling pretty good about myself.”

Dirty laundry. Slander. The sword of slander.

Doeg is hanging out at Nob. He sees David. David knew he had the sword of slander. Saul is in high-speed pursuit. So Saul shows up at Nob and here’s what Saul says. Saul goes, “Ahimelech,” the high priest. “What’s the deal with David? I mean, here David is, and he’s getting food from you. He’s getting a weapon from you. Are you like, uh, kind of in cahoots with him? I think, Ahimelech, you and the priests, man, you guys are against me. You’re trying to usurp me.”

That’s totally bogus. I mean, here is Saul. And he has his henchmen around him. He’s talking to the priest. Men of integrity, men of righteousness, and he is whacking them. And Ahimelech is saying, “What? David told me that he was on your business, Saul. David told me it was a secretive thing between you him. I want the best for our kingdom. I’m not against you.”

And here’s what’s so interesting about Saul. Saul had the opportunity to really listen to the advice of Ahimelech and all the other priests. Yet, he listened to Doeg. Because Saul, as he listened to Ahimelech talk, Saul said, “You know what, Ahimelech, we’re going to kill you and all of the priests.”

And don’t you know when Saul’s henchmen heard this conversation, they were texting each other going, “This guy’s lost his mind! Saul has OD’d on crazy pills.”

Don’t you know they were doing that? You know they were. And Saul goes, “Ok, boys! Kill the priests!”

Not one of Saul’s henchmen moved. Saul’s like, “KILL THEM! Take them out! Take them out!” They didn’t do a thing.

But now let’s pick up 1 Samuel 22:9-10. Guess who was hanging around there. They’re always going to be there. They’re going to dog you out and dog me out. “But Doeg, the Edomite, who was standing with Saul’s officials said, ‘I saw the son of Jesse come to Ahimelech, son of Ahitub at Nob. Ahimelech acquired of the Lord for him.” Yeah, I-I’m sure he did. “He also gave him some provisions.” Yeah, he gave him some shewbread, Yeah, that’s right. That’s right, ok. “And the sword of Goliath the Philistine.”

Again, contents without the context. Doeg knew the skinny on the gimme. He knew the deal. He knew the truth, but he left out certain aspects of the story. He put his sinister spin on it. He took out the sword of slander from his sheath and he began to stab and slice and dice. The sword of slander.

Saul’s henchmen, they didn’t kill the priest. They knew the whole thing was a lie. They knew the whole thing was all about slander. Doeg, though, the Scriptures say, killed every priest in Nob. Not only the priests, he killed families, children and infants. The sword of slander.

I can slander you, and you can slander me, by silence. I’m at a party, I’m at a social gathering and somebody says something about you. And I know that’s not true. Content without the context. If I don’t say a word, I have sliced and diced you. I’ve slandered you by silence.

I can also slander you through defiance. I’ll just shake my puny fist in God’s face and I’ll say, “You know what, God? I’m just going to slander this person because this person, I don’t like them. And there’s something just so evil about it, and I like evil.”

Because sin is fun, slander is fun for a while. It is that feeling, that rush. Its like, “Wow! I got him. Wow, I got her. I lied about him, I lied about her. Whoa, look at them suffer. Look at that poppy fall to the ground.”

We like it. We can slander through defiance, just saying “God, I’m going to do what I want to do.”

We can also slander through reliance. We rely on faulty information, like Saul did. We listen to the Doegs and not the priests. We listen to the haters and not the truth-tellers. And so many people here are making decisions based on false information.

Who is speaking into your life? Who are you believing? Who are you reading? Who are you running with? How do you spell relief? How do you spell relational relief? I’m telling you. Slander will dog you out.

God hates slander. He hates it in your life, and he hates it in my life. We read the Old Testament and go, “Whoa man, the Old Testament is full of blood and guts and God’s striking people with lightening and wiping out a whole city; I mean, you mean to tell me, Ed, that the God of the Old Testament is the same God in the New Testament? I mean God just seems to be like this cosmic kill-joy. I don’t understand.”

Well, let me help you. The Old Testament is all about progressive revelation. Say it with me, “Progressive Revelation.” God is revealing himself progressively. The Old Testament is the New Testament concealed. The New Testament is the Old Testament revealed. You’ll discover this when you buy the brand new Bible. And begin to read it. It’s incredible.

We have to understand that in the Old Testament, there is the civil law. The civil law. As God is revealing himself progressively, the civil law is the fact that God is sovereign. He’s running the show. It’s a theocracy. That’s why in church, there’s no such thing as a democracy. It’s a theocracy. Theos: God ruled. God is in charge. That’s what God was setting up in the Old Testament. So we’ve got a civil law.

We also have a ceremonial law. Read the Old Testament. It is a precursor to what? God sending Jesus Christ as a sacrifice for the sins of the world. The whole sacrificial system is foreshadowing, it’s pointing to what Jesus did for us on the cross.

There’s also a moral law. And the moral law is what we can take from these Old Testament figures. We can take from Doeg the Edomite.

Because here’s the bottom line. Doeg slandered. Here’s the bottom line. Slander kills. Here’s the bottom line. All of us know how to use the sword of slander. Some of here are like, “You know what Ed, I’m on the receiving end of slander. I mean I’ve been slandered and it hurts.”

Illus: You know what? In the last two years, Lisa and I have had someone very close to us, slander us repeatedly. And we just discovered the slanderer, just recently. So this is very, very fresh in my life. In fact, I can never remember a time in the 20-year history of Fellowship Church, because God has given me leadership abilities, that have not been slandered. So I understand, man, if you have been on the receiving end of slander. It hurts.

If you come to a point where you go like, “Oh man, it doesn’t hurt me. I’m the man. I’m the woman, that doesn’t affect me.” Who are you trying to kid? It hurts.

Now some here are slanderers. I like to slander, do you? I mean, I’ll just be honest, we’re in church, you know. I like to slander. It’s just fun. You know, when I see someone or kind of purpose evil in my heart, I can cut them down and I kind of feel better about myself, you know? I feel good. It’s just fun to hear that dirty laundry, that innuendo. They feel, they said, have you heard…

So, this message is for those who are slandering. And this message is for those who have been slandered. Because we’re going to see from the life of Doeg, and from what David wrote in the book of Psalms, the secret, the remedy of this slander.

So make sure as we talk about Old Testament figures that you remember what the moral law, what’s the moral stuff, the principles and precepts we can lift off the pages of Scripture and apply to our lives.

Well here it is in a sentence: Slander kills. Slander kills. The sword of slander. And we might not kill people physically, but we live in a nation of defamation. We can kill people all day and night with this little 4 oz slab of mucus membrane: the tongue.

Think about your tongue. I mean the tongue is powerful. The tongue is powerful. We can speak life or death, praise or destruction. God spoke the universe into existence. That’s how powerful the tongue is. So they killed the priests at Nob. Killed by the sword of slander.

Well, here’s what David did. You know what David did? David hears about this. And David begins to write. And if you have your Bibles, turn to the book of Psalms. Psalm 52. David writes in Psalm 52 is about this whole craziness with Doeg the Edomite. Psalm 52:1-9. Check this out. Here’s what David said.

“Why do you boast of evil, you mighty man?” He’s talking about Doeg. “Why do you boast all day long? You are a disgrace in the eyes of God. Your tongue plots destruction. It’s like a sharpened razor.”

That’s the sword of slander. So some of us are slanderers. And others of us here are slanderer’s helpers. “[Ed sings a children’s tune] A helper I will be, a helper I will be – hi-ho the dairy-o, a slanderer-helper I will be.” Here’s how I help slander.

Illus: A couple of years ago we had one of these torrential downpours. And we had like this little stream kind of thing going through our yard, right in the middle of our yard. So, our twins, made these little boats out of notebook paper. And they said, “Dad, come outside! Let’s float the boat.”

So, we put the boat in the stream. And the boat would float for about a foot, then it would get hung up. I’d pick it up, put it back down, and it would float for two feet. Pick it up, pick it up, pick it up. And I thought, “That’s what I do with slander!”

Someone drops slander in the stream of life, just a little bit of notebook paper, I mean, no big deal. And instead of stopping it, I say, “Oh. Well, I mean…” and I move it on down. And then you pick it up and move it on down. Then we say, “Oh wow, this is unbelievable, maybe it is true, I think this is awesome. Look how bad this person has been. And I heard that. And…” Slander.

So, David says, “Why do you boast of evil, you mighty man, Doeg. Why do you boast all day long? You’re a disgrace in the eyes of God. Your tongue caused destruction. It’s like a sharpened razor, you who practice deceit. You love evil rather than good. You love every harmful word. Oh you deceitful tongue. Surely,” verse 5, “God will bring you down to everlasting ruin.” Whew. “He’ll snatch you up, Doeg, and tear you from your tent.” Somebody call somebody. “He’ll uproot you from the land of the living.”

That’s what’s in the cards for the slanderers in the house. Again, these aren’t my words. I mean, you are under the judgment of God when you live a life of slander.

Verse 6. “The righteous will see in fear, they’ll laugh at him saying, ‘Here now is the man who did not make God his stronghold, but trusted in his great wealth and grew strong by destroying others.’”

That’s the TPS, the Tall Poppy Syndrome, isn’t it? I’ll just destroy you. I want you to be as unsuccessful as me, and it makes me feel better about myself to rip you apart and take out the sword of slander and slice and dice you.

But here’s the good news. All that’s kind of, whew, that’s some strong stuff. No wonder Doeg ain’t popular. I mean this is convicting isn’t it. Look at verse 8. David says, “But I’m like an olive tree, flourishing,” In where? “The house of God.”

Whoa, ok, flourishing in the house of God. “I trust in God’s unfailing love forever and ever. I will praise you forever for what you’ve done. In your name I will hope, for your name is good. I will praise you in the presence of your saints.”

So David is saying, “Whoa, whoa, whoa, what is the skinny on the gimme? I mean, what’s the bottom line. How do we remedy this slander stuff?” It’s a God thing.

Also though, it’s a tree thing. We’ve got to plant ourselves in the house of God. Because when we plant ourselves in the house of God, the Bible tells me we’re going to do what? We’re going to flourish. We’re going to produce fruit.

So if you’ve been slandered, what do you need to do? Plant yourself in the house of God. If you’re the slanderer, plant yourself in the house of God. If you’ve been slandered, as you plant yourself in the house of God, others will support you and help you grow deep and comfort you. And give you words of love and words of passion and words of hope. If you’ve are the slanderer, and you plant yourself in the house, when you begin to take out the sword of slander and dog someone out like Doeg did, you’re going to be like, “What am I doing? I’m giving the contents without the context. I’m telling the truth about this person, but not the whole truth. And I’m doing it in order to hurt them.”

Have you ever wondered why so many people are shallow spiritually in today’s world? And it’s an epidemic, all over the world, when I travel. People just, “Ok, I’m going to plant myself in this house for a couple of years. Oh, this house is hot. I like the music and technology. And all this speaking is cool. I’m going to plant myself here. Wow. There’s another hot place over there. I’ll go to another house.”

So we uproot and go there and plant and that lasts for maybe a year or two. And then you go, “Whoa!” maybe you’re single, “the good looking girls are at this other place.” You uproot and you go over there, boy, and you plant yourself there.

No wonder we’re so shallow! No wonder we don’t experience the fruit of the spirit. No wonder we’re not flourishing. We’re not planted in the house.

And most of us uproot ourselves before the breakthrough. We uproot ourselves before we flourish. We’ve got to stand tall.

What’s the oldest living thing? The sequoia tree. The sequoia tree grows straight. The Sequoia tree is always planted in clumps. The sequoia tree has the ability to heal itself. The sequoia tree has a very intricate root system as it intertwines its roots with others.

What a picture of the house of God! Are you planted in the house of God? You want to deal slander a serious blow? Get planted in the house of God.

Illus: This peasant slandered his friend. And then he discovered what he had spread about his friend was untrue. So he went to a monk and he said, “How do I get this right?”

And the monk wisely gave him a bag full of feathers. And he said, “Take a feather out of this bag and put it on every doorstep in the village.”

So the peasant went out and dropped a feather on every doorstep in the village. Then he came back to the monk and he said, “Ok, I’ve done it. I’ve dropped a feather on every doorstep in the village.”

The monk said, “Oh, no. You’re not through. You’re only half-way there.” He said, “Now go back with the empty bag and collect all the feathers.”

The peasant said, “I can’t do that! That’s impossible. I mean I can’t do that, because the winds have blown.”

And the monk said, “So it is with words. They are easily spoken. But once they’re spoken, we can’t get them back.”

What kind of feathers have you been throwing around? Dirty laundry? Innuendo? The truth but not the whole truth? Out of context? What feathers have you been believing? Have you been thinking about the source? You mean you’ve been listening to Doeg the Edomite above the other people of integrity in your life? You mean you’re believing that stuff?

Those are serious questions. I mean that’s some serious stuff. Think about Jesus. They slandered him. And the slander led him to voluntarily being nailed to a Roman cross and dying for our sins. Because the Bible just comes right out and says it. You know, God is showing his hand in the Old Testament. Then he puts all the cards on the table when he sends Jesus. And all the cards will be there when Christ comes back and we live forever with him.

But the Bible says that God loves us. And he’s gone on record to say that. It also said, though, that we’ve sinned. We’ve turned our own way and our sins have sequestered us from God. God could have left us this way, with this cosmic chasm. And we could have ended up in hell.

God, though, sent Jesus to die on the cross for our sins. And the Bible says if we turn from our sins and turn to Jesus and ask him to infiltrate our lives, then we’re right with God. It’s not about religion. It’s about a relationship.

And I’ve got to ask you. Have you established this relationship with Christ? Because if the truth were known, all of us have slandered the God of the universe. But even in our slander, even in our sin, God’s grace is sufficient. And he sent Jesus to take all of that and rise again. Have you made that choice?

[Ed leads in closing prayer and invitation.]

INEED2CHANGE.COM

Making Change

Ed Young

September 9, 2007

Are you ready to change? I’m ready to change. We all have things in our lives that need to change. ineed2change.com. I need to change. I am going to give you a shocking statement to begin this series of talks on change. And when I say this, it’s going to be a doggy downer.

I think some of you might be looking for the exits. You’ll be like, “Wait a minute. Why am I here?” after I say this statement. And here we go, are you ready for this? I can’t change. Say that with me. 1‑2‑3, “I can’t change.”

If you’re in Miami, Plano, Downtown or Alliance, let’s say it, “I can’t change.” Now before you leave, before you go, “Whoa, why am I here, then?” just let that sink in. Because the true beginning of change occurs when we admit, “I can’t change.”

God is a God of change; yet, what’s so interesting is the fact that God says throughout the Bible, “I don’t change.” Time and time again, God said, “I don’t change. I don’t change.” Yet, he is the agent of change.

When we open the lid of our lives and invite God in, he changes us from the inside out. If I look to the inside of me, I’m in trouble. If I look to the inside of who I am, I don’t have the stuff to truly change. Yet, if I look to God, I see that change occurred on the outside. God sent Jesus Christ to do his work on Calvary, to do the exchange on Calvary, to take all of our sin onto his shoulders.

And then he offers us righteousness and forgiveness and the power of change. But that is on the outside. True change is on the outside not the inside; yet, we make this grace reception. We receive Christ. When he infiltrates our lives, we move him from the outside to the inside and then we’re changed from the inside out. Without that, though, I’m just trying hard. I’m just striving, I’m just tweaking, and I’m just involved in superficial change.

What I want to talk to you about in this first session is supernatural change. Because we can’t change superficially and then suddenly go, “Okay now I have changed supernaturally because I began with the superficial.” We begin with the supernatural then we can talk about superficial changes.

Our culture, though, is addicted to change. Have you ever noticed that? We’re addicted to change. We love change. We change hair colors. We change outfits. We change houses. We change spouses. We change cars. We’re all about change. And I truly believe that this desire that we all have for change comes from God. God is a God who changes our lives from the inside out; thus, we have this capacity for change. We yearn for change. There are things in my life that I need to change. There are things in your life that you need to change; yet, to truly change we have to come to the point where we say, “I can’t. I can’t change.”

ILLUS: How do you like this watch right here? Get a close up on this watch. Is that sweet? Bling, bling. Some of you who know jewelry are like, “I wonder how much that costs?” Someone gave this to me. Some of you are saying, “Are those real diamonds? Man, that’s an expensive watch.”

What if I told you, though, it’s not an expensive watch? What if I told you, though, this watch is just a cheap veneer and it covers something even cheaper, a mechanism that doesn’t work? What if I told you that the friend who gave this to me bought this watch on the streets of New York? I didn’t buy it so police officers don’t cuff me. I’m just telling you what happened to me. This is not stolen; someone bought it.

Well, I’ve got to confess to you something: This watch is not the real deal. This watch is a cheap imitation of the real thing because the mechanism is not that great. This watch cost $40. I’ve had it for a couple weeks, and when I take it off, it stops. Right now the time is wrong. It’s not even moving. It’s not even right, but it looks good.

I have been wearing it around for the last several weeks and it’s interesting to watch people look at my wrist like, “Wow!” You can tell what they’re thinking, “Must be nice.” “Whoa, look at that watch. I like that, you know, because that’s a sweet looking watch.”

I’ve lived my life like that before, and so have you. We project one thing, yet in reality we’re another. We project this, we project that, we have this larger than life personality, the cars, the clothes, the talk, the hype, the rappa dappa doo; yet the mechanism is not that great. It’s broken. It’s cheap.

And it’s interesting how we can do that. How we can come to the House and portray one thing, but in reality we’re another.

Well, if I’m going to allow God to change me from the inside out, I have to say, “God I can’t change. Only you can bring about true change. I submit my life to you, God. I’m tired of showing this veneer, of this fake stuff. I want to show you my mechanism, God. Take my life—tax, title and license. Take my life—warts and all, all my shortcomings, my strengths, my weaknesses. God, I give my life to you. You, God, are the only change agent out there that can bring about true change from the inside out.”

It happens, though, when we invite the outside in and then we move from the inside out. God wants to change your life and mine. And that, friends, is some great news. It’s incredible news.

We have this website, ineed2change.com. Have you checked that out? Have you seen all of the entries of people being honest about what they want to change? And that is a good thing. But I’m here to tell you once again, I’m not talking about superficial. I’m talking about supernatural change.

Well, you might be saying, “Okay Ed, you’re talking about bringing God on the inside of your life. You’re talking about this Jesus man infiltrating your life. You’re talking about opening up the lid of your life to Christ. What exactly are you talking about?”

ILLUS: Let’s say that you saw a caterpillar, and let’s say this caterpillar could talk. Let’s just say that. And you see this caterpillar and you go, “Hey man, what’s up?” And the caterpillar stops and says, “Hey, nothing much.” And what if you said, “Man what are you doing? You seem like you’re working hard.”

“Man, I am working real hard.”

“Well, why?”

“Because I’m trying to be a butterfly. Watch this Ed, I’m going to fly.”

And let’s say he was on one branch, and he tries to jump. “Pick me up man, pick me up.” I pick him up put him back on the branch. “Okay Ed, it’s not working very well but now, right now, I’m going to try to have some beautiful wings and this array of colors like a butterfly.”

Well, if I love the caterpillar, and let’s show the caterpillar some love, okay. If we love the caterpillar we say, “Caterpillar, give it up. You can try to fly, you can try to have these beautiful wings, but it’s not going to happen for you.”

“What?”

“That’s right. It’s not going to happen for you. So you, if you want to fly, if you want to become a butterfly, you have to cooperate with the miracle of metamorphosis.”

“Meta‑what?”

“Metamorphosis.”

You cooperate with it. Because when a caterpillar does that, when he cooperates or she cooperates with the miracle of metamorphosis, what happens? The caterpillar dies, is born again, then the caterpillar becomes a butterfly.

How do I become a changed man? How do you become a changed woman? How do you become a changed student or a changed child? You have to cooperate with the miracle of spiritual metamorphosis. That’s what it means to be born again. We have to die to ourselves. We have to die to trying to change this stuff and tweak this stuff. And we have to admit, “God I can’t change. You are the change agent.” And once that happens, we become this butterfly. We’re transformed. We’re changed from the inside out.

Now, you might be saying, “Well that’s cool. So I just cooperate with the miracle of metamorphosis and just let go and let God, right? So that’s how it is. You just kind of chill and relax.”

Well, just hold on to that thought. So many of us have areas in our lives that are secretive. So many of us have things we’re processing that are keeping us from discovering the great path and plan that God has for us.

I want to draw your attention to a verse in the Bible. The book of Proverbs 28:13. It says, “He who conceals his sins does not prosper, but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”

What we cover, God uncovers. What we uncover, God covers. What we cover, ultimately God will uncover. And so many of us right now at our various campuses, so many of us right now in this room, we’re playing the cover up game. We’re playing it. We’re projecting one thing but in reality we’re another.

ILLUS: Have you ever played the cover up game? Oh, I have. Playing hide‑and‑go‑seek with my kids when they were smaller, I would say, “Okay I’m going to count. You hide. 1, 2, 3, 4…” And a lot of times they would get in their beds and do like this [Ed pulls a cover over his head]. They thought they were hiding from their father. They couldn’t see me. I couldn’t see them. I could see them. They looked ridiculous.

That’s how ridiculous you look and I look when we try to cover our stuff from God. “I’m going to cover my stuff, my sin, my rebellion, and God won’t know. My Heavenly Father won’t know.”

Whenever we cover sin, here’s what we do: We tend to blame others. You know, “I’m the way I am because of my family of origin. I’m the way I am because my mother was mean spirited; my father was domineering. I’m the way I am because of my friends. You know what? I’m the way I am because of my spouse.

“The reason I’m sleeping in the wrong bed is because of you. You’re not meeting my needs. You’re not doing it for me.” And we play the blame game. Have you ever played that when you’re trying to cover your sin?

And then something else happens when we’re under here: We invite others under the blanket with us, “Come on, come on.” And I’m talking about those sinful sympathizers—those people who are also covering up stuff in their lives, and they help us be sinful sympathizers, “I would sleep around on your spouse, too, if she acted like that or if he did that. And you know, yeah, man you have to smoke weed at least three or four times a week. That’s just what you do. You’ve got to frequent those places. And yeah, it’s good to gossip and rip people apart.” Sinful sympathizers.

Then on top of that, when we play the cover up game we begin to lie. Think about it. When we’re covering, we can’t walk in the light. We can’t discover the amazing things that God has for us. We don’t know which way to go. And we begin to lie. We lie to God. Our lives are a lie. It’s like, “Oh man this watch is expensive. Oh, yeah, I’ve got it together.” We lie. We lie to God. Then we lie to others. We just live this lie and then we lie to ourselves.

So what we cover, ultimately God will uncover. Have you noticed that? I have dealt with so many situations, so many people in my life here over the last decade, and they have played the cover up game and they have projected one thing, but in reality they were another. And I have known intuitively, I have known scripturally, after a while, the truth will come out. After a while, Scripture says, “Our sins will find us out.” And when the reveal happens, so often it’s not a pretty thing.

It’s time to be authentic and real. Because what we cover, God will uncover; yet, the last part of verse 13 says what we uncover, God covers. Now how sweet is that? That is totally off the charts. “But whoever confesses—” What does the word confess mean? The word confession means to agree with.

When I’m confessing my sin, my shortcomings, my fatal and futile attempts at changing, I am just telling the truth before God. When I confess my sins to God, God is not like, “Oh, Ed. I didn’t know that. I didn’t know you committed that moral turnover. I didn’t know you thought those thoughts. I didn’t know you said those hurtful words. I didn’t know—” No, you’re not going to surprise God. He knows.

There’s no such thing as a secret meeting. There’s no such thing as a cover up or a clandestine operation. God sees it all. And here is where men really struggle—a lot of you autonomous alpha males in the house “Man, I—man, I just am who I am. You know, I am just that way. And, you know, my fate, my relationship with God is a personal and private thing.”

Well, I understand that. It is a personal thing. And there are some private things between me and God and you and God. I understand all that. Yet Christianity, walking with Jesus, is a private decision that goes public.

Some of you guys who are married, try that with your wife. Just say, “Hey honey, we’re going to get married, but let’s not tell anybody. I love you, but I’m never going to declare that or show that or prove that.” Guys, that dog won’t hunt, will it? Yet, we come before God so many times, and we try to do the same thing.

Well, what’s the key to change? It’s inviting the change agent into our lives. It’s uncovering our junk. It’s confessing our sin. It’s agreeing with God about our condition. Well, scripture continues, it goes, “But whoever confesses and renounces—”

This word renounces, I love it. It’s left behind. That’s repentance. So we confess. We agree with God. We don’t stop there. We make an about face. We turn and walk the other way. We change our mind. We renounce. We repent. And if we confess and repent, if we confess and renounce, check out what happens.

Proverbs 28:13, “…but whoever confesses and renounces them finds mercy.”

All of our sin has been covered by the blood of Jesus, the grace and mercy and the forgiveness of Jesus. That’s what happens when we uncover this stuff. So confession and repentance trigger the mercy of God. And if we’re not doing those things and submitting to those things and obeying those things, we will never discover the mercy of God.

You see, time is melting off the clock. It’s melting off the watch. We’ve got to be real. We’ve got to say, “Lord, I have been living a lie.” So it’s interesting, remember this— let me go back for a second.

When we’re playing the cover up game, what do we do? We blame. We bunch up with sinful sympathizers. We lie to God. We lie to others. We lie to ourselves. Yet, when we confess and repent and we uncover, what happens? We don’t blame anymore, because now when we point the finger realize that 1, 2, 3 are pointing back at me. I’m taking ownership. I blew it. I messed up. I have fallen short. Then we find ourselves, by this change agent, moving and gathering around and bunched up with, not sinful sympathizers but encouraging empathizers.

Where do you find these people? In the House. You find yourself moving toward them, this strange urge to get near people who have the same transcendent values as you do. You want to move toward marriages who have this holistic view of marriage, who are loving each other, who are reconciling, who are forgiving, who put the marriage at the top of the list and the children beneath that.

And you find yourself being drawn to people who challenge you, who hold you accountable, who pray for you, who share with you. Not the sinful sympathizers. It’s amazing how people run when they’re covering stuff, and then you live a life of truth. Jesus said, “You’re going to know the truth and the truth will set you free.”

You’re being honest with God. There is nothing like that. You’re being honest. You’re agreeing with them. You’re telling the truth about your whole deal. You’re being honest with others, “Here I am, warts and all, tax, title, and license, here’s my mechanism.” Yeah, I am made of cheap veneer. Those are fake diamonds. The whole thing is fake. And church is a place where we have to take our masks off. Church is a place for imperfect people.

This is the perfect place for imperfect people. I’m not perfect, nor are you. And so often the devil will go, “Don’t share your junk with others. Don’t share what you’re dealing with with these encouraging empathizers because they’re going to laugh at you, they’re going to trash you, and they’re going to say, ‘I can’t believe you’re dealing with that.’ ”

Well, that’s a lie. Just call the devil what he is. He’s a liar. He’s the father of lies. Whenever I share what I’m struggling with with my encouraging empathizers; whenever I share my secrets and stuff that I think, “Oh man, they would freak if they knew I was dealing with that because I’m a pastor.” Whenever I do that, I get encouragement. I get support. I get prayers. I get help. I don’t get lashed. See, it’s a lie.

So we cover up and God will, I’m telling you, uncover it one day. So don’t mess around with that. You go ahead and uncover, and what you uncover God will cover with his forgiveness and grace and mercy.

“Ed, you don’t realize what I’ve done, brother. You don’t know.” And you know what? I don’t. You’re exactly right. I don’t know what you’ve done.

But I do know a guy who committed adultery and then this guy had this woman’s husband killed. And the guy’s known as a man after God’s own heart. You can read about him in Scripture. I am talking about David, you might have heard of David. Yeah, King David. And some of you alpha males, type A personalities, people who might think you’re successful; no one guy in here will touch the power, the money, or the influence that David had. And it’s not going to happen for you. It’s not; I just know it’s not.

So David committed adultery with Bathsheba, had her husband, Uriah, killed, and for a year he played the cover up game. Just think about it. When you’re like this, how can you see and hear God? How can you follow His awesome agenda for your life? Well, check out what David wrote. Psalm 32:3‑5. Can you identify with this? I don’t know.

“When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. For day and night your hand was heavy upon me, my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer.” We can understand that, can’t we? “Then ‑‑ then, I acknowledged my sin to you and did not cover up my iniquity. I said, ‘I will confess my transgressions to the Lord,’ and you forgave the guilt of my sin.”

David, an adulterer and murderer, uncovered and God covered him with His grace and mercy and forgiveness and power and vision and endurance and plan and agenda and clear conscious and all of the wonderful benefits that God has for every single person here. That gives me hope. Isn’t that encouraging? I mean that is phenomenal

So icantchange.com. Only God can change, really change, your life and mine. It’s a supernatural change, not a superficial one. It’s a supernatural change. Confession, that’s agreeing with God. Repentance, that’s from the word renounce, renouncing.

Romans 12:2. Here’s what St. Paul said. You remember the Apostle Paul? The Apostle Paul, he was hurting Christians and messing around with the church, and he had this Damascus Road experience where he was power washed by the love and grace and mercy of the Lord. And here is what he wrote after he became a follower of Christ.

Romans 12:2. “Do not conform any longer to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind; then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is, His good and pleasing and perfect will.”

That word transform, that word in Greek is the word metamorphosis. [Ed sings] “I believe I can fly, I believe I can touch the sky”– metamorphosis. Cooperate with the miracle of metamorphosis. Don’t try to fly, right, and be a butterfly by yourself.

Be transformed by the renewing, of your what? Of your mind. That’s interesting, your mind. It begins in the mind. The battlefield is in the mind.

So if we’re covering up, we’re not going to be thinking right. Have you ever met someone and you’re like man, they’re whack‑a‑doodle‑doo. They are totally and completely whack‑a‑doodle‑doo. It’s okay to say that. Well, if you’re thinking whack, you’re feeling whack. If you’re feeling whack, guess what, you’re whack‑a‑doodle‑doo. It’s not that hard.

A lot of people have stinking thinking. Their thinking is all jacked up. Well Romans 12:2 tells me if I uncover and allow God to cover me, my mind can be transformed, I will start thinking right. And when I think right, when I feed on the Word, then I will start acting right. And when I start acting right, I will start living and behaving right. Confession and repentance.

So often we sin retail and confess wholesale. We will sin specifically and confess generally. I challenge you to write out your prayers. And many times I look back at my journal, and I will see when I do the confession part my writing gets a little bit sloppy and small and I begin to kind of write real fast and I don’t want anyone to read it, you know. But when I’m asking for stuff—that’s in bold print, beautiful penmanship.

You begin, though, this daily confession; you begin this daily repentance, after you’ve been through the process of metamorphosis, you will not believe what will happen.

Well, you know what? I kind of left you hanging on David’s story. You might be going, “Why did David come clean? That is kind of strange. I mean, all of the sudden he is writing this Psalm and everything is tough and then all of the sudden he confessed. Why did he confess after a year of playing the cover up game?” Well you know what happened to David? David got Nathanized.

There was a guy that worked for him named Nathan and Nathan confronted him in love and said, “King, you’re in sin.” You’re talking about an encouraging sympathizer. Nathan empathized with him and spoke the truth in love. Not sympathize. David could have killed Nathan on the spot. He had squillions of dollars. He had all of this power. He could have just sent him out like that.

David, though, submitted. He received the truth, he confessed, he repented, and he began to do what God wanted him to do. Every time you come to church, every time I come to church, we’re all Nathanized, right? When we read Scripture, we’re Nathanized. And that’s why a lot of people here, especially the men here, we’re afraid to have quite time.

We’re afraid to get into the Word because we might get Nathanized. And we would rather live a life of comfort with the boys, the blaming and bunching up and being sinful sympathizers and living a lie as opposed to going, “You know what? I am going to uncover that. I am going to get out of that and I am going to move toward the people and the things that God wants me to move toward.”

What I’m talking about is the power of the Holy Spirit of God. The Holy Spirit of God is the first thing that Jesus does when he comes into your life and mine. The Holy Spirit is inside of us. The Holy Spirit will teach us. He will nudge us to do what is right. And those of you who are followers of Christ, you know what I’m talking about.

Let’s say you’re in an argument in marriage. Lisa and I never argue, but maybe you do. You’re in an argument and all of the sudden this voice, this Spirit hooks in with your spirit, and it says, not audibly, but you just know it, “What you’re doing right now is wrong. Confess and reconcile the relationship, ask for forgiveness.” That’s the Holy Spirit of God.

And you say in your mind, “No way. They’re wrong. They’re like 65 percent wrong, man. I’m not gonna swallow my pride and—”

We need to acquiesce to defer to him or not. You’re in a situation at the office or school, you have an opportunity to cheat, the exaggerate, to lie and part of you is like, “I can lie and get out of this. I can exaggerate. I can make myself look good. I could take credit for this idea, and it wasn’t my idea.”

And you begin to do it and the Holy Spirit goes, you go “Whoa! You’re getting ready to lie. You’re getting ready to exaggerate. You’re getting ready to falsify.”

What do you do? Do you defer to him, or do you just say, “You know what, I am going to lie. I am going to exaggerate.”

That’s how the Holy Spirit of God leads us and guides us. Where you’re going, the place you’re going, the Holy Spirit is telling you it doesn’t honor the Lord. “What are you doing walking in there? What are you doing buying a ticket to that? What? What?” We either all forget we need to do that or we defer to the Holy Spirit of God.

The Holy Spirit of God will nudge us to the house of the Lord. He will convict us and tell us, “It is time to step up and step out and serve.”

That is why the Christian life is all about a walk. How do I walk? Well, I have to take a step to walk. The first step is the spiritual metamorphosis.

Every day I am stepping, I confess, I repent, I do what God wants me to do because as my mind is renewed, my thoughts will be renewed and then my behavior is renewed and then I will discover God’s good and perfect and pleasing will. Galatians 5:25, it says, “As we live by the Spirit, let us also walk by the Spirit.” What a verse!

So really, the only thing that can block the Holy Spirit’s power in you and me is you and me. That’s it.

ILLUS: You’ve got an infection. The infection won’t go away. What do you do? You take some antibiotics. Have you ever been on a Z-pack before? I love the Z-pack.

Now when you start a Z-pack, don’t just start it, but you better finish it because I have made this mistake before. I have taken two or three for the first few days and left the others in the cute little pack and that infection has turned and hit me harder; it’s not a pretty sight when you don’t take all of the pills. So take all of your antibiotics. Take them all.

Don’t stop short and just say, “Okay Lord, I will confess. That’s enough. I have blown it. I feel sorry that I have messed up.”

Don’t stop there. Go to repentance, but don’t stop there. Do what God wants you to do. Walk by the Spirit of God and realize that God is changing you, because change comes from the inside out. It’s all about God, and it’s a decision followed by a process.

Now, next time, we’re going to tackle something that is very, very tough to talk about. “What happens when I begin to see the change that God makes in my life? What happens as I defer to the Holy Spirit of God? What happens as I listen to him?” Well, I will tell you what will happen.

All hell will break lose, because the devil is going to come after you and me because whenever you change, you have conflict. Yet, as you stay through the conflict; if you stay through the change, if you stay uncovered and walking in the covering of mercy and grace, you’ll have growth. Change, conflict, growth. That’s next time.

But here’s the good news: I can’t change, you can’t change. No one can truly change. Only God can change your life and mine.

Have you received that? Are you deferring to that? Are you walking in that? Because you have a choice, either living like this. Trying to walk through life covered; or like this, uncovered. I’ll choose like this any day. How about you?

FAMILY RE-UNION

The Home Gym

September 12-13, 2009

Ed Young

I’m in a series on the family and it’s one of my favorite topics to talk about because all you have to do is read the Scriptures and see that God’s redemptive plan, his whole purpose has always unfolded through the family. And now of course we know that the family is the backbone, is the foundation of our culture. So it’s really cool that we can talk so openly and honestly about the family. And one of the things we need to understand is, and this is very, very obvious, but many times we forget the obvious. One of the things we need to understand is the simple reality that all of us are members of a family. Whether you’re a single adult, whether you’re a child, whether you’re a student, whether you’re a single parent, whether you are a part of nuclear family with 2.5 kids, all of us are a part of a family. And there’s nothing like it when the family is running right.

And we talked about over the last several weeks, the fact that the family is like a company. We’ve said that parents are the CEO’s. And the kids should be working in the cubes. But so often the parents are in the cubes and the kids are in the corner office. And that shouldn’t be that way. And we talked about some of those issues, some of those power issues set forth in Scripture.

We’ve also been saying that the family is like this clinic, is like a hospital, a trauma center if you will. Parents, we are the doctors and the Great Physician, that’s what they called Jesus in John chapter 5, has given us, parents, this position to help our kids, which are the patients, in their condition. And that’s what we’re about.

Well today, we’re going to get into something else, another role of the family. I think this really, really exciting. And I think it’s very, very fitting especially in today’s culture. But I thought it was rather ironic that we got contacted, a couple of days ago by ABC’s Nightline because, Nightline is doing a show, they’re filming an entire show right here at Fellowship Church in our Grapevine Campus, Thursday night at 6:30, and I would love for you to be our special guest. I’m going to be debating a group of people on the subject of adultery. And you might be going, “That’s odd. Why are you even debating adultery?” Well, there’s a website out there, and I wouldn’t recommend you log on to this website, but it’s called Ashleymadison.com and it’s a website about committing adultery. Ashleymadison.com has 4.5 million users. You pay about $250 a year and they’ll hook you up, literally, with someone else who wants to commit adultery. And you can commit adultery in a very discreet manner. So I’m going to be debating the people who actually started this website. It’ll be pretty crazy. It’s going to be fun though.

So Anyway, would love to have you here, you know. Cheer for us. “Yeah! Go! Get ‘em!” I’m not saying that, don’t do that. We’re going to do it all in love, but, it’ll be, it’ll be fun. So definitely be in prayer.

Also too, I do something called Twitter and if you don’t know what Twitter is don’t worry about it. A friend of mine said ‘twooter?’ No. Twitter, Twitter, Twitter and the address is, on the screen. I’ve been doing something over the last several days that I’m going to do for a long, long time. I’ve been speaking out and doing leadership conferences and preaching messages and writing books for about 20 years. So I’ve decided to put a lot of the thoughts that-that I have come up with that I’ve gotten from other people on Twitter. I want to deposit a devotional thought into your life, just one or two lines every single day. And if you want to do that, I’ll be happy to, um, you know, give you the 4-1-1 on all those different devotional thoughts. So anyway, thought I’d tell you that before we begin.

You might be saying, “Ok, Ed. What is the family like? Ok, it’s like a company, I understand that. The family is like a hospital, I understand that. But what is the family like?” Well, here’s what the family’s like. Because as I ask you this question, I think you’ll discover what the family is supposed to be.

How many of you have ever ordered any exercise equipment from an infomercial? If you’ve ordered any exercise equipment, go ahead and confess, this is church, if you’ve ordered any kind of exercise equipment from an infomercial. I think we all have. I think we all have. Infomercials are intriguing. Don’t you find yourself sometimes just mesmerized by these infomercials. Especially the one’s that promise us these incredible physics and figures. The people who are selling these-these pieces of equipment, they’re always smiling – tsh-tsh-tsh-tsh-tsh – you know, with the ponytails bouncing around and the little outfits and everything is matching and looks so easy. No one is perspiring, and with 24 easy installments this piece of exercise equipment can be yours, it can be mine. It’s very, very tempting, isn’t it? They make billions and billions of dollars doing it.

The idea of these infomercials, the thought behind it is genius. Think about it. Think about it for a second. These marketers have figured out that those of us who are watching television from the comfort of our home can actually bring the gym into our home. Like that. Just pay a little bit of money every month, and your home and my home can become a gym.

I’ve got news for you. That idea isn’t original. I’ve got news for you. The marketers have ripped that off from God. God’s been saying that for thousands and thousands of years. God has told us that your home and my home is a gym. It’s a gym. G-Y-M, God, You and Me. Or if you’re from the south, God,Y’all, and Me. Your home, my home is a gym. Parents, that makes you and me –vwm, vwm, vwm, the trainers. That’s right, that’s what we do. We train.

Because the definition of parenting: Deuteronomy 6, teaching, Proverbs 22, training, Genesis 2, our kids to leave. As parents, what does it mean to put the ball to the net? We teach them, teach them what? The ways of God. Teach them what? To glorify God. Teach them what? What it means to apply the Word in their lives and to live the kind of life that God wants. We train them. We give them opportunities, to work, to serve, we stretch them, we mold them, we make them, under God’s directives, into the kind of people that he wants. We train them to do what? Leave. And we and we shoot them with great trajectory out of the family unit, out of the gymnasium, so they in turn, can start their own gym. That’s the beauty of the family. But we’ve got to ask ourselves a question. Against the backdrop of thinking about the fact that the family is a fitness center, against the backdrop of thinking that the family is a gymnasium. We’ve had to ask ourselves a question. How is the family doing? Seriously, I mean, how is the family doing? Let’s look at some of the raw data. How is the family doing?

Fifty percent of marriages still end in divorce. Half of all first time marriages end up in divorce. Sixty-seven percent of second time marriages end up in the deep weeds. Seventy-four percent of those who try a third time, I’m sorry, wow, 74 percent – ha – of those who try a fourth – uh, uh, I can’t say this right [rewind] you know what, I’m gonna start all over with that. I’ve done confused everybody. Ok.

50% of first-time marriages end in a divorce. 67% of second-time marriages end in divorce. 74% of third-time marriages end in divorce. I didn’t check for the 4th and the 5th. Ok. On top of that. People living together has multiplied exponentially.

Now, just think in your mind for second. How many babies of all the babies that are born in our country, how many babies are born out of wedlock? 40%. 50% of students are sexually active. 25% of those have had at least 4 different partners. With that in play, the USA is the number one consumer of porn in the world.

Now, let’s bore into the Christian community just for a second. Because if you look at the research, those who call themselves Christians, and a lot of people call themselves believers, who aren’t, I hope you know that. But those who call themselves believers, those who say they are a Christian family, as you look at their kids in their 20’s, 61% of their kids, when they hit 20 years of age, distance themselves from the faith and from the church.

Now, hopefully, the clue phone is ringing. Hopefully you’re going, “Wow, this is jacked up. Wow, something is not working. Whoa!” How’s the family doing? As we look at the family, it doesn’t look that great.

Well what’s God’s strategy for the family? He wants the family to be a gym. God, You and Me. He wants the family to be full of trainers, to be full of kids who submit themselves to the trainers and who do the stuff that trainers want. But again, what does God want the family to do and to be?

Plan A, Deuteronomy chapter 6. If you have your Bibles turn there. Deuteronomy chapter 6 verse 5. What does it say? “Love the Lord your God with all your heart, with all your soul, with all your strength. These commandments that I give you today are to be upon your hearts.” Impress them on your children. This is God’s strategy. Talk about them when you sit at home. When you walk along the road. When you lie down, when you get up, tie them as cymbals on your hands and bind them on your foreheads. Write them on the doorframes of your houses and on your gates. Isn’t that something?

So the main thing in the family fitness center is not to give your kids some trust fund it’s not to give them some opportunity to become this scholarship athlete, all those things are fine and dandy. It’s not to give your kids trips around the world. Again, those things are awesome. The number one thing, God’s agenda for the family, is to do what? It is to teach and to train our kids to leave. It’s to impress upon them the things of God. It is to give them the opportunity to love God with the totality of who they are.

But I like that word I read, I hope you didn’t miss it. Love God, Love the Lord your God with all your [vwooom] strength. I like that. Strength. Trainers, parents, trainers, trainers, what are we supposed to do? The first thing trainers do is, we’re into strength training. Talk to anybody who wants to be in good shape, what do you gotta do? You gotta pump the iron. You gotta do some sort of strength training.

The best trainers are not people who have their clients as their best friends. The best trainers don’t have the happiest clients. I’ve seen trainers before, and I’ve seen trainers go, “Well, I just want my clients to be happy. I want to do what makes them happy.” Those clients don’t last very long. The best trainers understand that their clients have got to go through long periods of time when they’re unhappy, so they can make the gains that they need to make. It’s like the old adage, “No pain, no gain.”

And trainers, we have to allow our kids to build strength in their lives, to build muscle in their lives. In other words, we have to work out in the family unit what God by his grace has worked in. That’s what we’re about. And working out is not always fun. It’s not always convenient. It’s something that we’re called to do. Parent’s you’re the trainers. And here’s the thing about training. You can’t train your kids, parents, if you’re not training yourself. I remember going to a gym years ago and some of the trainers were out of shape. I didn’t want to hire one of those guys. I was looking around for the person who was the most ripped. I’m like, “I want him to train me. Not that person, I want him to train me because that person is shredded. That person is training themselves.

We have a lot of body-builders that come to Fellowship Church, did you know that? We got some big ol’ monsters that attend Fellowship. Huge guys, huge girls, I mean people who are, who are just who are just ripped. I mean they have veins the size of garden hoses in their arms. It’s like, whoa, man. Body builders. I have a lot of friends who are body builders. And it’s fun to talk to body builders. The only joke I know is a body building joke, you want to hear it? Yeah, yeah, you want to hear it, yeah. I do, I do. How many body builders does it take to screw in a light bulb? 2. One to screw the bulb in, the other one to go, “Hey man, you’re looking big, you’re looking big, dude, you’re lookin’ big.” [drum/cymbal]

Walk into any gym and you’ll see some body builders. And talk to them because these cats are disciplined. Hey, ask them, what does it take to get those muscles, they’ll be like, “Man, you got to have discipline, you gotta work out like 3 hours a day. You’re your diet needs to consist of tuna, just about 2 ounces of brown rice, and water. And supplements. That’s it. You gotta pump the iron man.” Whoom-whoom.

But if you really want to mess a body builder up, ask a body builder this question. Now, I’m not diss’ing body builders, but I’m just saying, if you want to mess their brain up, ask them this, just say, “Hey, Mr. Body Builder, hey, Ms. Body Builder, why are you lifting all that weight and punishing your body with that strict diet?”

They’ll say, “For a contest.”

“A contest?” You say. And then ask them this. This will really mess them up. “What are your muscles for?”

The body builders will think, and they’ll go, “Uh, to pose.” [Ed laughs]

“Wait, you’re telling me you’re lifting all this weight and you have all these muscles, and you’re muscles are there just to pose? Whoom-whoom-whoom, Aaa-HAA.”

“That’s right, man, just to pose. That’s what we do.”

Well, I’m here to tell you, in the family, our muscles aren’t just to pose. Our muscles should be broken down and should be built up. They should be trained, why? So we can use them to love God with all of our strength. To love God out of character, out of vision and integrity, and commitment.

Parents who are trainers, parents are spiritual spotters. We’re spiritual spotters. Because trainers will push you past what you would normally do. If I work out by myself, compared to working out with someone who’s training me, a training partner, the training partner will take the workout always to a higher intensity level. I think about, where’s my Bible, here it is. I lost my Bible for a second. I was like, “Someone stole my Bible.”  Galatians chapter 6 verse 2, it says, “Carry,” you could write here ‘spot’, “each other’s burdens and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” What do I mean by spotting? When you spot someone, let’s say you do 12 reps. You’re like, “[whoom-whoom] shhhheven, whoom-whoom-eight, Oh, uhhh, mommy, uhhhhh, uhhhh.”

Well, if you’re by yourself, you’d go, “Whew, that’s enough.”

But a trainer is going to say, “Oh, come on now, let’s push that weight, eat the iron, come on, crash through the quitting point baby.” And they’re going to help you with that weight. They’re going to give just enough pressure where you’re still working your rear off to get the weight up. And that right there, that is where the muscle is built. And you do rep eight, whoom, and you do rep 9, and then like the tenth and eleventh, you might do some negatives, “Ahhh-hhhaa,” the veins are sticking out. [heavy breaths] “Whew, it’s over.” Your muscles are broken down. But you gotta break ‘em down to build them up.

Parents, that’s what we do. So, I would argue that if your goal as a parent is to say, “Ok, I want my kids just to be happy all the time.” You’ve missed it. You’ve missed it. Because for kids to grow and to develop, and to have that strength to love God with all of their strength, they’ve got to go through periods of unhappiness. So in the family unit we’re always helping one another, we’re spotting one another, we’re encouraging one another, we’re building one another up. We’re praying for one another. The family is a gym.

God’s plan, his design, is Deuteronomy 6, Proverbs 22, and Genesis 2. But as you see, the family ain’t doing so hot. The only other entity, Plan B, that God uses to support the family, is right here, this fitness center, the church. So parents, trainers, get in to strength training. Break down to build up.

Also, the second thing, you know this. You gotta do cardio. Cardio. Cardio is boring to me. But you gotta do it. It’s for the heart. Some people jog. Whoo-whoo. Have you ever looked at people’s expressions when they work out? Especially doing cardio? They have these weird expressions. [heavy breathing] Some people power walk now [power walking breathing]. Others on the stair master, [stair master breathing] they’re reading all these magazines. [breathing] Novels. [breathing] It gets harder and harder. [labored breathing] Isn’t that funny to watch people work out? Look at their expressions.

People have weird… there was one guy, he was a trainer, and he had the weirdest voice. And he used to be a trainer at this gym where I worked out. Every time I walk in, he’d go, “[stuffy high voice] What say Ed, how you doin’ dare?”

I say, “Well, man, I’m doin’ fine.”

And he used to always say, “Don’t do cardio, cardio’s bad for you, it’ll kill ya. Cardio’s not good for you.”

I remember thinking, “Uhh, I’m not sure I’d agree with that.” This guy, he was like in his 60’s, would push some serious iron. I’m talking about this guy was a monster. And when he would do reps, he would always call out like the numbers real loud. And whenever I want to stop in my cardio or stop in my strength training, I remember this guy, because here’s how he would count when he was doing a set. [Ed is counting loud, imitation – not pronouncing numbers normally] turn all red in the face, [strained lifting noise] like that.

He used to train these women, it was hilarious. These women would start talking, he’d come in there, “Ok, ladies, ok, ladies. Stop the social hours, this ain’t the social hour. This is lifting weights. Come on, come on, come on. Hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu-hu.”

Anyway, I could imitate him a lot. But the guy’s a real inspiration to me. Cardio. What does the Bible say about cardio? The Bible says that we need to be into strength training, but it also says that we need to be into endurance training. We need to grow big hearts. And the Scripture tells us a bunch about it. Hebrews 12, verse 1. “Therefore since we are surrounded [cooow-coooow-coooow] by such a great cloud of witnesses [wiiiin-wiiiin-wiinn] let us throw off, let us throw off everything that hinders us [whsh-whsh] the sin that so easily entangles us and let us run [whoom-whoom, whoom-whoom, whoom-whoom] with perseverance.” Sound effects mine, “the race marked out for us.”

Parents, there’s a race marked out for your child, for your student, for your college student. We’ve got to help them, we’ve got to train them in perseverance, and endurance, and commitment to run the race. Life is all about endurance. Life is all about perseverance. Life is all about commitment.

When I ran a marathon years ago, I arranged for this guy to run the last 6.2 miles of the race with me, because I knew I would hit the wall. I knew my body would break down, I knew I would want to quit, and he told me so. And I was looking in my office this morning, at my house, a picture of me running, I almost brought it, but I didn’t, it’s too embarrassing, and this guy beside me has this white sweat-suit on. And I have this look like that, everything is cramping up, and this guy runs the last 6.2 miles of the race with me, he’s coaching me, “Here’s how to run, here’s how to take the curves. Keep on running. Don’t stop, don’t quit, don’t think about the cramps, take in water.” And I was able to sprint the last 4 miles of the race. Not because I’m a great athlete, but because I listened to the guy who had trained me for the marathon.

Kids, as you run this race, listen to the trainers. Listen to them. You gotta crash through quitting points. Parents don’t always rescue your kids. Don’t always snowplow everything for them. Allow them to face the consequences. Allow them to fall flat on their face. Allow them to go “[whoom] I can’t lift any more, Mommy!” You help them with the weight. You’re building muscle, you’re building responsibility, you’re building work ethic, you’re building Christ-centered character. You’re building people who follow the Lord.

Because go back to – go back to Plan A. Deuteronomy chapter 6 verses 5 and 9. Go back and read it. Because the whole tenor and tone of it is: pass this on from generation to generation to generation. That’s what we’re to do. Read Deuteronomy chapter 6 when you go home. We’re to pass the baton with intensity, with creativity, with fun to our kids. I’m basically a product of great generations. I really am. I look back at my great-grandparents, who were people who loved God, who did the best with what they had. They understood the home was a gym and they passed that baton to my grandparents, my-my grandparents not perfectly, passed it to my parents, and then my parents have passed it to my brothers and I. So I’m a blessed guy.

Just a couple days ago, I traveled to Houston to celebrate my parent’s 50th wedding anniversary. And I took this picture of them at the table around a meal as we celebrated this time. And you can look at their expressions and you can just think about the challenges and the struggles and the victories. You can think about the children and the grandchildren and the hopes and the dreams. Fifty years of marriage. I’m such a lucky guy! And some of you are like, “You know what, I’m lucky too, Ed. I mean I’m kind of the same, I’m kind of the same situation, my brother.”

I feel you up there. Others of you are like, “Mmmmm, no. Not my family. Whoa. Wow. I prob-ha, man, Ed, my family, you kidding me? A picture like that? Are you kidding me?”

Well, you know what? The good news is, you can start today. You can start today to establish that legacy. You can start today by realizing, “Wow, my home is a company. And I’m the CEO. Wow, my home is a fitness center, and I’m a trainer. Wow. My home is a clinic, and I’m a doctor. Wow, I’m all these things as a parent and my kids are with me and I have just a big opportunity, just a little short span of time. I want to make the most of it.”

Well if you want to make the most of it, understand who you are. Understand who you are. You are a trainer. You are a physician. You are a CEO.

Strength training, cardio. Do that cardio. Perseverance. Commitment. Do that cardio. There’ll be times when you want to quit. Do that cardio. You’ll want to quit school, quit the team, quit marriage, quit with your children. You’ll want to quit. Don’t do it. We’d rather quit than commit. We’d rather throw in the towel than stay in the game, we’d rather bail out than blast through, we’d rather leave than last. We need to stay with it and do what God wants us to do.

Because what if Jesus had quit? What if Jesus on the cross had said, “You know what, I don’t want to persevere.” We wouldn’t be here.

So, strength training, cardio, one more. This is so simple, everyone knows it. You want to be in great shape, you’ve got to eat right. It’s proper diet. You gotta feed on the Word of God. The Bible says we can be washed by the water of the Word. Most of our muscles are made up of what? Water. You want to get strong? It’s the water of the Word. Get together for the corporate feeding of the Word. Get together for a private feeding of the Word. Feed on the Word.

But what I’m talking about though, is a regular meal. I mean a real meat and potatoes meal. I’m talking about the whole enchilada. What’s a meal? Because we’ve forgotten what a meal is. What’s a meal? The Bible talks about the power of the meal from cover to cover. What’s a meal? We should be about it from the cradle to the grave. What’s a meal? M-E-A-L: It’s a Magical Engagement that’s Always Loved. Families need to gather together at least 4 nights a week for a family meal. Lose the TV. Turn off technology. Sit there and eat and begin to converse. Begin to talk.

“Well, Ed, we’ve got a bunch of little one’s.” You’re teaching them. You’re training them.

“We got some teenagers.” You’re teaching them, you’re training them.

“Sometimes we argue.” So do we. You’re teaching and training.

“Sometimes we throw food.” So do we.

“Sometimes we say this or that,” so do we.

“Sometimes we get into a debate.” So do we.

Those times though are so rich, are so amazing, are so supernatural. And it’s not the food, ladies. Guys, it’s not the food. It’s not that. It’s the celebration, it’s the ceremony of the conversation.

When I look back in the rear view mirror of my life, as I look back over the most meaningful times in my family, so many of them occurred around the table. And it was so fitting to celebrate my parent’s 50th around the table. You begin to establish a meal, and during the meal, you can do strength training. During the meal, you can do cardio. During the meal, you can talk about the Word and get washed in the water of the Word. The meal is the real deal.

People all the time say, “Well, Ed, how in the world did you turn out ok? You’re not crazy. A lot of preacher’s kids I know are absolutely buck-wild, haha-house, straight-jacket, crazy-pill nuts. Why did you turn out, you know, relatively sane?”

I’ll tell you why, because my parents were not one way on the stage and another way off the stage. They were real. And I saw how real they were so often at the meal. It’s a biblical concept. You do it, and you watch what God will do. Because God wants to build your muscles and mine into a Deuteronomy 6, Proverbs 22, and Genesis 2 family. He wants us to continue the legacy or start the legacy as we pass the baton off strategically and lovingly and give our kids something that money can’t buy: this relationship with Jesus Christ.

Let’s pray together.