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OVERCOMING TOUGH TIMES

Why Do Good People Suffer?

March 29, 2009

Ben Young

Why do good people suffer? There have been many responses to that question over time; from Buddhism to Atheism to Christianity…all seek to find the answer to this ever pervasive question. Join Ben Young in the third message of this series as he takes a look at different religious points of view and how each searches for a valid answer.

I’ve already shared with you that I collect weird things, and one of the things I’m collecting right now are various warning labels on products. All of us today are kind of paranoid about being sued, so people put all these strange labels on things. Some of them are very good warnings; some of them, I don’t know! I found some more! Some of these warnings are so out there I can’t even read them in church; but these I can, and I want to share them. These are warning labels found on actual products. This is found on a baby stroller: “Warning! Remove infant before folding for storage.” Isn’t that a given? This was found on a toilet bowl cleaning brush: “Warning! Do not use orally.” Hmmm…That’s where they got the term “potty mouth” I guess! That was funny by the way! This next one was found on a microwave oven manual: “Do not use for drying pets.” Can’t you see the Bozo going up to this microwave—“Popcorn, poultry—oh, pet drying!” This is good here, a sign at a railroad station: “Beware! To touch these wires is instant death. Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted!” Oh man! Attorney friends, can’t you see them rolling in that corpse for the courtroom?

I’m sharing these warnings because I do have a warning about today’s message. Today’s message is that we are in the deep end of life. The questions that we’re talking about; the problem that we’re trying to solve and respond to is in the deep end of life. It’s very deep; it’s very complex; it’s very, very personal. So I just wanted to throw that out there for you. If you came here today looking for some good old preaching; someone who is going to give it to you straight and get in your grill; you came to the wrong place! I’m not going to preach so much as I’m going to teach.

During this series called Overcoming Tough Times, we’ve been following a guy named Job. We found that Job had it all. He was “Man of the Year.” He was wealthy. He had a hot wife and ten kids. He had a great faith! He had it going on, until all of a sudden, SMASH! His life was shattered into a million pieces! He was trying to pick up the pieces of his life, and he was trying to figure out what he was going to do next, and where God was in the midst of the mess that his life had become. He had lost it all. He lost his money; he lost his job; he lost his company; he lost his health; he lost his kids! He was in a mess.

We’ve been following the journey of Job, and as we’ve been doing that, there’s been a question that’s been looming that I would consider one of the great questions; one of the big questions, whether you choose to believe in God, or you choose to believe there is not a God; it’s really a big question everyone has to find an answer to.

There are many ways to phrase this question. One way is this: “If there is a God and this God is all good, and all powerful; how do you account for the massive amount of evil and suffering in the world? If God is all powerful, He would intervene and stop the suffering. If God was all good, He wouldn’t allow it in the first place.”

Another way to phrase this question is a more personal way, and that is to say, “Why do good people suffer? Why does someone like Job, who had it all together and was following God, who was successful in his business and had a great family; why in the world would the bottom fall out on his life, and why would he have to endure this tunnel of chaos and darkness? Why? Why, why, why? Why do bad things and suffering happen to good people?”

A while back, I wrote a book called Why Mike’s Not A Christian. In this book, I deal with a lot of common questions that both skeptics and some believers have about the Christian faith. I have a chapter in this book that talks about evil and suffering, and it kind of answers maybe more questions and gets into more detail than I’m going to today; but if you don’t have a copy of this book, you can pick one up.

Why do good people suffer? There have been many responses to that question. One of the best responses to that question was from a man by the name of Siddhartha Gautama. You may know him as The Buddha. The term Buddha is a term like Messiah. It’s not a name; it’s a title. The word Buddha means “enlightened one.” Siddhartha Gautama was trying to figure out the riddle centuries ago; centuries before the birth of Christ. Why in the world do we have so much evil and suffering? Why do we have sickness? Why do we have death? How do you alleviate and eliminate pain and suffering?

Basically, Buddha says these four things. He said there are four noble truths, and these are the four noble truths of Buddhism. The first one, according to Buddha, is that life is suffering. Noble truth two is that suffering is caused by desire. In other words, we have these desires; we have these expectations for life to be like this; and here is reality. So the difference between reality, our personal experience and our high expectations—the difference is pain and suffering.

So suffering is caused by desire. The third noble truth is the way to end suffering is to end desire. So if I decrease my desire in a sense; decrease my expectations to a point where I almost kill all desire; then I reach a point of oneness with expectation and desire, and I reach Nirvana. That leads to the fourth noble truth which is how do you end desire? You do so by following the Eight Fold Path of Buddhism, which is a lot of spiritual disciplines: Right thinking, right practice, right meditation, and right giving—all these things that fall into the Eight Fold Path.

I like Buddha! I think Buddha is the second wisest man ever to walk the plant earth. I think his plan for trying to answer the question as to why good people suffer, and also pragmatically, how to eliminate that, was a radical and bold plan. I believe there are problems within that particular world view in response to the question; but we’ll deal with the problem I see in that in a few moments.

Let’s look at another response to the question “Why do good people suffer?” Let’s look at the atheist’s response. The atheist’s response is rather simple and simplistic. It says basically there is no God. God is a delusion; therefore, evil and suffering that happens to people is really no big deal. Why? Because for an atheist, material things matter; stuff is all there is!

Richard Dawkins, who wrote the book God Delusion, said this, and I’m quoting from a different book, not The New York Times best seller. Dawkins is probably one of the most influential and outspoken atheists in the world today. “In the university of blind, physical forces and genetic replication, some people are going to get hurt. Other people are going to get lucky, and you won’t find any rhyme or reason to it, nor any justice. The universe we observe has precisely the properties we should expect if there is at bottom no design, no purpose, no evil and no good. Nothing but blind, pitiless indifference.”

So basically from a materialist’s point of view, an atheist’s point of view, we are only molecules in motion bouncing against one another. You have a certain form that makes you look like a human being. Someone else has a form that makes them look like an animal. Another form makes them look like a thing; but basically, we’re all just material “stuff.” In a way, it’s almost an atheistic interpretation of Hinduism, or Pantheism.

The atheists have a point. How do you deal with evil and suffering? How in the world could there be a good and great God, given the fact that so many people suffer? They just say punt the whole idea of God! Let me say this: I respect atheists more than I do agnostics. At least atheists are making a bold claim and wanting to stand by it.

However, there are problems in the atheistic world view. That’s basically the world view that Job’s wife held, wasn’t it? After Job’s life was shattered into a million pieces, Job’s wife said, “Job—give up this idea of God; this good God, this great God! Give that up! Look! You have nothing! Give up! Curse God and die!” So her view was a type of qualified atheism.

Let me deal with some of the problems I see within atheism as well as within Buddhism. Let’s deal with atheism first. Here’s a problem for the atheists. Atheism needs the existence of God to make their argument. Atheism pre-supposes theism. In other words, when I’m talking to someone and they say, “There is no God” and they’re challenging me, let’s say on something like the Holocaust. “How in the world can you believe in God when you look at the evil, and the atrocities, and the murders that happened to six million Jews that were extinguished and killed during World War II? How can a good and loving God, an all-powerful God allow this to happen?” I would say, “You know what? I’m outraged by that! But you shouldn’t be, if you’re an atheist. If you’re an atheist, why are you so upset? All that happened in World War II in the holocaust and all the killings were just molecules changing from one form to another. There’s no reason to cry, or get upset, or say “injustice,” right? Because if you say “injustice”—you’re implying the very thing you’re denying! In order for there to be justice, there means there has to be right and wrong in the world for all people and all places. For there to be right and wrong, moral law; there has to be a moral law giver! For there to be a moral law giver, He has to stand outside of space and time, and He has communicated these moral laws and ethics to all people in all places!” I have a right to be mad, angry, upset, and wonder what went on during World War II, and what goes on now with the millions of people that are starving, and being raped, and being cast into slavery around the world! I can be mad at that; but if you’re an atheist, you have no right to be mad at it! You have no right to cry! You can’t use the words “right or wrong; evil and good.” You can use the word “preference.” That’s not very tasty, but you can’t say it was right or wrong.

So for an atheist to even get their argument off the ground, they’ve got to borrow capital from my world view. It’s like if my 10-year old daughter wants to slap me in my face; she has to sit in my lap in order to do it. So atheism pre-supposes theism. They are denying that there is a transcendent moral standard; but at the same time, they are using it to be outraged!

So the problem I have with the neo-atheists like Richard Dawkins, Sam Harris, and Daniel Dennett is that they’re not intellectually honest. Even Richard Dawkins, who I quoted earlier, who wrote the best-selling book God Delusion, said that he is a cultural Christian. I’m like, “Hey—get off of my cloud!

Richard, you need to go see another atheist friend of yours who is a philosopher at Princeton named Peter Singer.” Peter is a much more consistent atheist, and he says there is really no distinction between a chick, a cat, a dog and a chair! So be honest and don’t borrow from my world view to try to make your point. It’s not going to fly! That is a problem atheism has, and there is more to that, but we don’t have time to get into that today.

Let’s talk about Buddha. As I said, I like Buddha and Buddhism. If I weren’t a Christian, I possibly could be a Buddhist because I respect what he was trying to do, and I think Buddha was a very wise man. However, the problem I have with Buddha is that in trying to extinguish the ego, or to extinguish desire is like you’re killing the person to cure the disease.

Peter Kreeft, a Catholic philosopher at Boston College, says this, “Nirvana, I have to see it as spiritual euthanasia; the killing of the patient, the self, the ego to cure the disease which would be egotism, or selfishness.” So if I did reach a point of Nirvana by following the Eight Fold Path of Buddhism; then if I got there and I extinguished my desires, and my expectations were so lowered that I reached this point; I don’t know if I’d want to reach that point. The same eye that craves; the same eye that desires is also the same eye that loves, and the same eye that dreams, and the same eye that has hopes and passions that I believe are good things that God has given to us.

So I like Buddha; I like his plan, and his response to the question, “Why do good people suffer?” But I think we can go farther. I think God goes farther. Let me say this and we talked about this a few months ago—God has revealed Himself to us in many ways, but one of the primary ways God has revealed Himself to us is in a Book.

The best-selling book of all time is the Bible. The most translated Book in the history of mankind is the Bible. The number one, best-selling book on The New York Times best-seller list, every single year, and has been—the same is true in Britain and around the world, is the Bible! It’s been number one so long, you just forget about it, right? So if you’ve not read the Bible, I would encourage you to do that, because the Bible deals very directly with the problem of evil and suffering. The oldest Book in the Bible is the Book of Job. The whole story is about “Where is God, and where are we when we encounter intense evil, suffering and pain in our lives?”

Let me give you three responses I think God has to the question as to why good people suffer. The first response I would say the Bible teaches us is this: Suffering is caused by free will. Let me hear you say those two words together. Ready? Free will. Let’s try it again. Free will.

When I say free will, I mean both Angelic free will, and Adamic free will. The Bible teaches that God created the entire universe. He spoke the universe into being. Some scientists may interpret that, or use the term as The Big Bang, but God created the universe ex-nilo, out of nothing. Before God created the universe; before He created all the galaxies, before He made the Milky Way galaxy, and the planet earth; before He did all that; we know that God created some type of angelic beings, some powerful angelic beings, and for a point of time in history that they had free will. Some of these angels rebelled against God. Lucifer was the head angel, and he took some other angels with him.

So before we came on the scene, you had these angels who had this free will who abused it, and they had a cosmic rebellion against God. Then you have God who creates Adam and Eve, and puts them in this idyllic place. Adam and Eve also chose to rebel against God. They had their own plan, and because of the satanic rebellion; because of the rebellion of Adam and Eve and the fact that they abused their free will, and because you and I continue to abuse our free will; we have consequences. Therefore, you have a tremendous amount of pain, evil, and suffering in the world, even within the cosmic realm, because of the rebellion of Satan, and because of the rebellion of mankind.

I don’t know many people, be it someone who is an atheist, agnostic, a Christian or Buddhist who would want God to take away our free will. What if I approached someone who said, “I don’t believe there’s a God.” Or, “Maybe there’s a God; maybe there’s not.” I said, “Okay, let me ask you a question: Do you think someone should pass a law banning abortion?” They would probably say, “No, I don’t think you should pass a law banning abortion. People should have the freedom to choose.” I would say, “The freedom to choose is basically to choose between two options. The freedom to choose means you can choose something that’s right, or something that’s wrong.” So for there to be free will, for God to allow us to have free will; there has to be the possibility that we can also choose in a negative way. So how did we get into this mess? It was both an Angelic and an Adamic free-will abuse, and we continue to abuse our free will today.

The second response God has to the problem as to why good people suffer is that suffering is a part of God’s plan. When the bottom fell out on Job’s life; when he lost his money, his savings, his job, his kids, his health; he didn’t know what was going on! But we know because we have the DVD, the director’s cut, right? We know that God said to Satan, “Hey! Have you ever thought about My man, Job?” We know that God, for some reason, allowed Job to go through intense, traumatic, horrific, hellacious suffering! Job was a good guy!

Sometimes suffering and pain we experience in our lives is because of our own consequences. We’re experiencing the consequences of abusing our free will, and doing what we know is wrong inside of our hearts; doing what we know is wrong as revealed by God’s Word. So there is suffering we experience because of consequences of sin.

Then there is another category of suffering we have for people in the United States that I call urban suffering. What is that? Well, urban suffering is, “The XM radio on my BMW X-5 is not working today! Why me, Lord?” That’s not real suffering; that’s urban suffering! Or, “My 72-inch flat screen’s gone out, and I want to watch the OU, UNC game! Why am I suffering?” That’s not it! “I’m having a bad hair day!” That’s not it either!

There is real suffering we experience in an urban context, whether it’s sickness, or rejection, or relational hurt and pain, or death, or losing our job. It’s real, but there’s another kind of suffering we see in Job where for some reason, our lives just seem to be destroyed all around us and broken into a million little pieces. Yet, Job knew in the midst of his brokenness that somehow God was with him! We can see that in the passage early on in Job 1:20 through 22. It says, “At this, Job got up, tore his robe, shaved his head, then fell to the ground in worship. And he said, ‘Naked I came from my mother’s womb, and naked I will depart. The Lord gave, and the Lord has taken away. May the Name of the Lord be praised!’”

Job realized that yes, there was some kind of cosmic treason; Satan is real. Yes, there are free-will choices that human beings make that cause all kinds of evil, but he was saying what? Over and above this, there is a providential God who sees and allows everything to happen, and he says, “I can’t put it all together, these broken pieces of my life right now, but somehow I know, if there is a God, then He is the ultimate reality, and somehow, some way, God is working these things out!  Somehow, God has allowed me to experience this loss, to experience this death, to experience this economic deprivation for a reason. It’s a part of His plan!”

This leads us to the third thing that God reveals to us about why good people suffer, and that is that suffering ultimately works out for the good. It ultimately works out for the good.

Augustine, the great 4^th century philosopher, said basically that somehow, evil is assuaged by the ultimate goodness that God brings out of it.

Romans 8:28, “And we know that all things work together for good for those who love Him, and who have been called according to His purpose.”

That’s a very powerful verse that talks about the ultimate sovereignty, justice and mercy of God. I don’t recommend using that verse right away if you’re in the midst of your own brokenness right now, or someone you know has gone through a horrific time of suffering with illness, or they’ve lost a loved one, or they’ve had a ruptured relationship, or they’ve lost their job. Don’t just go up there and throw Romans 8:28 in their face! They may throw it right back at you, and they can call me up, and I’ll join them in throwing it back at you!

But in all that, when you work through the tunnel of darkness and chaos; when you start trying to put together the broken pieces of your life; you have to deal with the whole issue of the sovereignty of God, and is God the ultimate recycler? Is God going to somehow use all the evil, all the pain, all the hurt in a productive way? The Bible tells us ultimately that He will! That’s the good thing that happens if you feel like you have been treated unjustly, or someone has harmed you, or they have abused you! Listen…No one gets away with anything! The Bible clearly teaches that God is a just God, and vengeance is His, and He will give a pay-day some day for every single person who’s broken and abused His law; from the jay walker, all the way to the serial killers, okay? God is a just God. I also know that God, as we’ll talk about next Sunday, is a God who can somehow recycle and transform us in the middle of our pain and suffering.

Here is the problem I have with that last truth that God reveals to us, that things ultimately work out for the good. Please, emphasize, and italicize, and bold and highlight the word “ultimately.” In this realm, in the earth realm, and in our lifetimes, not everything is going to work out! Not all the pieces of the puzzle are going to fit. There are going to be some missing pieces. But ultimately, we worship a God, we believe, who sees the entire big picture, and we hold on by faith to Him.

Atheists have a problem with trying to figure out why good things and bad things happen to good people. Buddha, I believe, has a problem, and I think we have a problem too, and here is our problem: Our knowledge of God’s ultimate plan is extremely limited. Isaiah 55:8 says, “‘For My thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways My ways,’ declares the Lord.” God’s thoughts, and God’s plans, and God’s ways are on a whole other level than where we are. God does not reveal to us very much about His ultimate plan.

If you can read the Book of Revelation and understand it—congratulations! I want to read your book and your commentary; but one thing I do know about the Book of Revelation is that God is just and merciful, and we win through Him! I know that! But there are a lot of the details of a lot of stuff going on right now, and things that have gone on in the past that I simply do not understand!

I do not see how God is going to recycle these things, but it says in His Word that He is… So there is a mystery there.

Years ago I was writing a book with a friend of mine—not the one I mentioned earlier. We were talking about the whole problem of evil and suffering, and we had this scenario that we were going to present to the publishers. The publisher got back to us, and we gave them the answer. One of the answers and the responses we have in Christianity is that there is a lot of mystery here.

The publisher said “Well, that’s not good enough!” We were like “Whatever…” Show me the answer! There is not an answer. There are responses… There is not an answer to the problem of why evil and suffering occur; but there are clues along the way. Colonel Mustard in the library with the rope, right? There are clues! Some great clues! I think Christianity answers that question better than any world view I know of and have seen to this point. But there is mystery there, and that’s okay… Do you want to worship a God who you can totally figure out? By the way, for those of you who are single; it’s always good to keep some mystery too when you’re dating. You need to have some mystery…Anyway, that’s a whole other subject. But mystery is a good thing! There is mystery here!

I play “What if” sometimes… What if God stepped down from His transcendence and kind of got down and dirty with us? What if God would come and get His feet dirty? Like the old 90’s songs—what if God was one of us, and would take a bus? What if He got splinters in his hand and kind of really understood what it’s like to live as a human being? What if God would do that? That would be great, wouldn’t it? I could love a God and like a God like that. I could…

How many of ya’ll remember the last film that Bruce Lee made before he died? Can you remember the name of that film? Yes—you’re exactly right! Enter the Dragon! Remember Bruce Lee? Quickest martial arts, kung-fu guy ever! You see all these diets on T.V. I want to know the Bruce Lee diet! The guy was shredded, and… Anyway! Enter the Dragon, right? Classic, epic, kung fu, martial arts smack down! Dragons! What do you do with a dragon within literature and medieval? What do you do with a dragon? You slay them, right? What does God do? God enters into planet earth. God becomes one of us. He experienced rejection; He experienced humiliation; He knows what it’s like to be tired; He knows what it’s like to cry out! He knows what it’s like to be lonely; He knows what it’s like to be tempted! He knows exactly what we’ve been through, and that Man is Jesus Christ!

That’s what Christmas is all about! We believe in the incarnation, the ultimate reality, the God who made and knows everything has not just talked philosophically about evil and suffering, and what it’s like. He has entered into time, space and history, and He died on a Cross to identify with you and me.

I like what Timothy Keller says, “The death of Jesus was qualitatively different from any other death.” That makes sense to us. If Jesus Christ really was God; then His death and life has much more impact than yours, mine, Napoleon, Abraham Lincoln, or whatever figures you want—Socrates, from history. “The death of Jesus was qualitatively different from any other death…The physical pain was nothing compared to the spiritual experience of cosmic abandonment. Christianity alone among the world religions claims God became uniquely and fully human in Jesus Christ and therefore He knows firsthand despair, rejection, loneliness, poverty, bereavement, torture and imprisonment. On the Cross He went beyond the worst human suffering, and He experienced cosmic rejection and pain that exceeds ours infinitely as His knowledge and power exceeds our own.”

In the midst of brokenness, pain and suffering; we know we can go to a God who can relate to us!  If you are going through a time in your life—the tunnel of chaos, and it’s dark and you feel broken; one of the main things you need is validation! Someone you can talk to, who can understand what you’re going through! Someone who is currently going through it, or someone possibly who has not only gone through it; they have gone through it and survived, and they have a smile on their face, and they’re still breathing, living and working! You want validation! Jesus Christ is our validation that God cares, and God is one with us in our brokenness and suffering.

On the Cross—enter the dragon, God’s kung fu! He takes something like a crucifixion—evil and death upon Him, and He turns the energy around—BOOM and makes it an instrument of life, forgiveness, empathy, and compassion, and He didn’t even have to use sub-titles or dubbing to do it!

Let’s pray!

God, I thank You that You’re a God who comes to us in the middle of our pain and suffering; in the middle of our questions. I thank You, Lord that we’re at different places here today. We have thousands of people here. Some doubt whether You are there. Some doubt, if You are there; do You really care? God, I thank You that Your Word tells us, “Come, let us reason together” not “Come, let us park our brains!” God, we don’t want to just talk about intellectual, philosophical answers, though they can be important at times God. We want to know that You know us, and we know that You do. We want to know that You care, and we know that You cared so much that You entered into time, space and history. You were slain as a dragon is slain, in our place, so that You could forgive us and bring us back to You, but also so You could know and we could have a sense of a mediator who knows what we’re going through right now! In Jesus name we pray, Amen.

BUILDING A HEALTHY FAMILY

Depressurize Your Marriage

February 12, 2006

Ben Young

Constructing a strong family in the 21^st Century is no easy task. What tools does God’s Word give us when it comes to marriage, parenting, discipline, and even finding rest? Join Ben Young in the series, Building A Healthy Family, as he takes a look at how to practically assemble a healthy family and a healthy life.

Pressures invade our lives from every angle…from family, to finances, to careers. What do all these pressures lead to? What do we do when we are tired of juggling? How does God’s word advise us to handle the life He has set before us? Join Ben Young in the first message of this series as he looks at three questions which may help us depressurize all the external forces in our lives.

One of the most incredible structures on planet earth has to be the Taj Mahal. I didn’t know this until recently, but do you know what the Taj Mahal is? Does anybody know? Yes! You are exactly right! It is a memorial. It is basically a big tomb. There was a guy who was the ruler of India named Shah Jahan, back in 1629; and he was grieving, and wanted to remember the life of one of his most special wives. So, he took her casket, and he put it in the middle of this big parcel of land; and actually began construction of the Taj Mahal around his wife’s casket.

Now, you can imagine all the time, all the energy, all the construction that went into this; and the Shah was passionately devoted to this project.

Months passed—years passed. One day, he was out surveying the construction site, and he stumbled across this wooden box. He said, “What is this doing here?” He said, “Get this out of here—remove it!” And so, some of the workers removed it, and he went on about his day. It wasn’t until months later that he realized that that little wooden box that he stumbled over was actually the casket of his beloved wife.

Now, what happened to the Shah? The Shah got so consumed with the pressures and details of the construction; he forgot the original purpose of the memorial.

Now, it is easy to look back and say, “How in the world would anybody get so consumed with something like that and miss that?” Don’t we do it so many, many times in our lives? Think about it—-all the pressure—all the constraints on our lives. Many, many times, we lose sight—we lost focus of our original purpose.

Life is a lot about pressure, and how you and how I handle the various pressures in life. It starts at a young age. We have what I call these big, pressure-packed questions. I don’t know what it is in this culture we live in; but you have these questions that float around, right? You are in high school—the big question is, “Are you going to go to college?” And then, if you go to college, then you have to ask, “Well, where are you going to go to college?” And then, once you are in college, “Well, what are you going to major in?”

And then once you tell what you are going to major in, the big question is, “What are you going to do when you get out?” When you get out, in your 20’s, for the first time, you are considered “single”, whatever that means! So when you are single, people are asking you “Have you found anybody yet? Are you going to get married?”

You get annoying phone calls from friends or relatives, right? You pick up the phone—“Hello?” “Hey—when are you going to settle down?” Or, “Have you found anybody yet?” And the proper way to respond to those questions is, “Have you lost those extra 15 pounds yet? Oh, I didn’t think so! I am sorry!”

And then, let’s say you do find someone, right? You fall head-over heels, slaphappy in love; and you whisk down the aisle, and you get married! Once you get married, people say, “Hey, you’re married (just back from your honeymoon). When are you going to have a kid?” You have a kid—“Are you going to have another kid? Are you going to have another one? When are you going to get a dog?”

You have all these questions that you feel like you have to answer, and give an account for in your life! It is kind of crazy—all these pressure-packed questions. But if you do get married, and you do start building a family, you realize that your life is all of a sudden filled with all kinds of pressure points. Have you noticed that?

I mean, most couples will tell you that when you get married, one of the big pressure points is money. Money is a biggie. It is a big-time pressure. It doesn’t matter if you are very rich, if you are middle class, or if you are poor; money is a big deal in relationships, and especially in marriage.

Many of us are carrying way too much debt! I am not talking about a mortgage or a car payment, or school loans; but you have all this life style that you want to live, right? And your outcome exceeds your income, and you are in debt.

Or, maybe you are doing pretty well financially, but in your relationship, perhaps there is always fighting over what you are buying, right? “I can’t believe you went out and paid $125 for that pair of shoes!” But of course, it is okay for you to spend $300 for a shotgun, right? So, you have all of these hypothetical conflicts going on in marriage, all about money!

Another pressure point in marriage is work. Man! Work, work, work! We have just surpassed Japan as the nation that works more hours per week than any other nation in the world!

We have less vacation than any other industrialized country in the world. We work 40, 50, 60, 70 hours a week! Many times, both partners are working jobs, and you are trying to balance the demands of job, your relationship, and of family. It is a big-time pressure!

Another pressure point is your in-laws! That is a pressure point, isn’t it? In-laws, out-laws, others encroaching! By the way, do you know the definition of mixed emotions? The definition of mixed emotions is watching your mother-in-law go over the cliff in your brand-new Mercedes! I’m just kidding—but that is a pressure point. Some people in their marriages have not cut the apron strings. They have not cut the apron strings from their family; and therefore, they bring all those pressures and all those tensions into their marriage.

Another big-time pressure point in marriage is kids, children. They demand a lot of attention! Have you noticed that? And for those of you who are in the infant stage, it is not about living, it is about surviving! Looking, scraping for just an hour of sleep, right? And so you kind of go through the first kid, and the first few hours, and you are just walking around—you go to Starbucks—“Give me a black-eye, shot-eye, red-eye—anything,” just to stay awake to get through the day! That is another big-time pressure.

And of course, what do all these pressures lead to? The pressure of money, the pressure of work, the pressure of kids, the pressure of in-laws, all these pressures lead to busyness! We are all so busy! And it gets exhausting. The pressure cooker is incredible! No wonder we lose sight of our original purpose.

I was watching a special recently about Steve Martin. I like Steve Martin—I think he is a comedic genius and a really funny guy. But when he was first starting out back in the 70’s, he did something unusual that a lot of comics didn’t do. A lot of comics back then were totally involved and still hung over from the 60’s and the Vietnam War, and they were all negative and cynical; but Steve Martin took some of his tricks he learned. He was a magician. He also could juggle. It showed him at one point juggling all this stuff.

I thought, “That is a lot like life.” Have you noticed that? Life is always moving from the very simple, to the very complex. So, you start off in your life, single; and you are juggling some fruit—one or two oranges. It is tough, but you can handle it. Then, someone else throws you another orange. And now, you are married, and you are juggling three things at the same time.

Then, you have a kid, and you are juggling that; and then you have money and you are spending too much. Then you have other things, and in-laws—all this stuff.

All of a sudden you are just like AAAAGGGHHH all the time; and you are wondering, “When in the world am I going to catch up?” And by the way, as you can tell, I can’t even juggle, because if I did this long enough, in a couple of minutes, I would be tired. So many times, we are juggling all this stuff, and we say, “Wouldn’t it be great to get back to just juggling one thing, or maybe just two things? I can handle that!”

So many people—so many couples just want to leave it all. They just want to leave all the pressures and all the stuff because they are simply tired of juggling. They feel like they can’t make it. Others are juggling all this stuff, but they are caught up in the routine—the mundaneness of life, and their marriage begins to eventually just kind of drift away… So, what do you do? What do you do if you are tired of juggling? What do you do with all these pressures that are coming down on you in your life? How do you handle them?

Let me give you a couple of questions—really, let’s look at three questions this morning—three questions I believe which may help us depressurize all these forces in our lives.

Here is the first question: Is everything on the table?

Bill and Angie fall in love and get married. They love each other, love their child, and love their careers. They throw themselves into the careers; but they start having issues in their marriage. They have problems with communication, and their conflict resolution skills are waning, to say the least. But instead of dealing with that, they take that issue and say, “Oh, we will just table it.” And they put it under the table. They are having problems with intimacy; they know they should really work on that, but, “You know what, we can deal with that later, because we are so busy—we have so much stuff going on—so many other pressures—we’ll just table that problem of intimacy. We have a problem with money and finances—we disagree on how we should spend it. You know what—we really need to talk about that, and many times we do, but we just need to table that.”

And all of a sudden, a couple like that is going to bed one night, and one of them gets up to adjust the thermostat. And the thermostat issue goes from “Turn it down the other way!” To, “You are so selfish!”

All of a sudden, you go from a thermostat, to money, to in-laws, to conflict, to intimacy; and all of a sudden, you are in an all-out brawl about issues that you have tabled and have been under the surface in your relationship. We looked at that a couple of weeks ago—remember that? If you have an issue, or something going on in your relationship and in your marriage—“I just can’t wait to deal with that! I am so mad!! —- Then stop, pray about it. —Wait and then deal with it. If you have issues that you know you should deal with, but don’t want to; then you have to deal with it.

So, the first question you have to ask yourself about the pressure in your life, “Is everything on the table, or have you tabled it?” “Oh, let’s just table it!” No—you’ve got to put everything on the table.

Here is one thing you could do this week that would be so helpful in getting back to the original purpose in your life, and in your marriage. Sit down, and set a time to have a nice table talk. Just do it. I recommend that you do it after Tuesday night—I’ve got to say that for us guys, all right? Find a time—it’s Valentine’s Day, by the way—-find a time that you can sit down together. Schedule it so you can sit down and talk about one of the issues. If you are looking to talk about too many issues, you can be overwhelmed; but talk about one of the issues that you have tabled—put that on the table and discuss that issue—talk about it. Negotiate, compromise, discuss that issue in a non-heated context.

So, if you are feeling the pressure hit you from all different sides in your life, or you feel the pressure hitting you from all different sides in your marital relationship, you have got to go to the table—set time out for a table talk.

Second question to depressurize things—to get us back focused; the second question is essential. A couple of months ago, I was having coffee with a good friend of mine, Sean Boutros. I have known Sean for probably 20 years. We were sitting there, drinking a cup of coffee, and Shawn looked at me, and he said, “Ben, what is that in your ear?” And I said, “This ear?” He goes, “Yeah.” I said, “I don’t know—it is just a scab.” He kind of started looking at it, and he said, “Hey, that doesn’t look very good! Do you want me to take that off?” I said, “Sure! When do you want to do it?” He said, “Let’s go back to my office.” By the way, Sean is a surgeon…minor point!

And so I said, “Yeah—let’s go. I’ve got a meeting, but I’ll call and rearrange that and reschedule.” So, we went down to his office, he took out a little knife—-cut the thing out, and sent it off to the lab.

A couple of days pass, and he called me up and said, “Ben—it is bad news. That little thing on your ear was cancerous. It is a basal cell cancer.”

Basal cell is basically no big deal; you usually get them on your hands, or your neck, or your back—but the bad thing about this one was that it was located right near my ear canal. So, he said, “I need to cut a bigger portion out of your ear. So, when do you want to come back down to do that?” I said, “Well, how about now?”

So, I went down there, and he cut a little more. He said, “I’m going to send this off to the lab, but I am sure that I got it all.” So, I waited a few days, and I get a call back. He said, “I can’t believe it, but there is still more there! We are going to have to do some surgery.” Or at my age, you call it a procedure! He said, “When can you do it?” “How about as soon as you can? I mean, let’s go! Whatever it takes, get that thing out of my ear! And while you are at it, can you fix the little ‘Spock’ action, too?”

So, I think it was a Wednesday morning, several months ago; I went down there early in the morning for the surgery, and I am thinking, “I can’t believe I am doing this.” I get down there, and you have the gown on with the big gap in the back. It is no good; and you have that goofy hat on, and then you have all these people coming up to you—“Hey, I am your so-and-so person,” and “I am this person.” “Do you have a living will?” I was like, “I’ve got a dying will.” So, you have all these people asking you questions.

Finally, the good stuff comes, which is the anesthesia. They start putting the anesthesia in me, and I was kind of joking around before that. You start feeling it—it is really good. As I was fading out, I said, “Man—I feel like that Pink Floyd song”… I think everybody else kind of looked away in wonderment, but one wise soul at the end of the bed said, “Which one? ‘Comfortably Numb’?” And I said, “Yeah!” That is the last thing I remember man! BOOM! I am out!

Well, Sean, who is an incredible surgeon, cut the margins, measured and came back and fixed it. He took some skin from behind my donor ear! Cut and paste—just like on your computer! And he pasted it in there! And now, I am 100%—-the basal cell is gone—-I am a happy camper!

Bottom line is this: What was fascinating to me about when I discovered that I had cancer was how quickly I responded to it. I didn’t wait around and say, “Hey, I wonder what is going to happen? I’m going to let that scab grow a little bit more!” And when he said, “When can you do this?” “Hey—let’s do it now! Let’s take action, right? Let’s do whatever it takes!”

So, the second question you’ve got to ask yourself in this pressure packed life we live, and the pressures of marriage is: Are you doing whatever it takes?

Given the issues that are maybe under the table right now; perhaps once you place them on the table and look at them, and talk about them—are you then willing to do whatever it takes to deal with it?

Matthew 5:29-30—Listen to this. This is what Jesus said: “If your right eye makes you stumble, tear it out and throw it from you; for it is better for you that one of the parts of your body perish than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand makes you stumble, cut it off and throw it from you; for it is better for you that if one of the parts of your body perish than for your whole body to go into hell.”

What is Jesus talking about? Is he talking about self-mutilation? You got a problem with your eye—pluck it out, right? Texas chain saw, self-massacre on your hand—-is that what He is talking about? No—He is not. What is He doing? Jesus is using extreme language. He is saying, “Listen, if you have an issue in your life, if you have something going on between you and God, if something is under the table that you need to deal with, you need to get radical! You need to do whatever it takes to fix it, or to eradicate it from your life, or from your marital relationship! You can’t just sit back and let it go, and let it grow, and wonder what is going to happen! You’ve got to get it on the table, and you have to deal with it. You have got to have the attitude, “We are going to do whatever it takes to fix it.” That is what the vows are about, for better or for worse, for richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, till death do you part. It is a commitment to do whatever it takes.

What is marriage? Marriage is a life-long commitment to unconditionally love an imperfect person. That is what it is about.

I knew a guy several years ago right here in our city; and if you had viewed him from the lens of our culture, you would say, “This guy has it all!” They could do a feature on him—-“The Wonderful Life of this guy.” He had it—-he was doing really well in the corporate world. He had climbed the ladder. He had made a lot of cash, he had a wife, a nice house, and he had three kids. This guy had it going on!

But what no one knew was that his marriage and his family was beginning to unravel. And he did something that so many people don’t do. He realized that he was really married to his work—he was married to his image; so what did he do?

He was willing to do whatever it took, so he rolled up his sleeves, and he resigned from his job. He took a different job in a different area and specialty. He scaled down his lifestyle, and he said, “I want to get right with God, and I want to get right with my family.” And that was about 8 years ago, and the guy is still on that same path! He was willing to get radical. He was willing to do whatever it took!

I don’t know what that looks like for you—-I don’t know what is going on in your life, or your marriage; but you have got to get radical. You have got to do whatever it takes to deal with it—to fix it—or to eradicate it from your life, and from your marriage.

Maybe it is a money-thing. Go see a financial planner. Go to a seminar—we teach them in our church frequently. Maybe the problem is communication in marriage, and intimacy, or other issues. Go see a Christian counselor. We will spend 80 gazillion dollars on a wedding, but you won’t even crowbar 90 bucks out of your wallet, or purse to go get some help. Do something! Because it is worth it! It’s worth it.

You say, “Well, if I could just stop juggling all these things, and get rid of these pressures and maybe get a divorce, I will be happier.” No, no, no. No you won’t! There was a study done recently, and one the head researchers from the University of Chicago showed that people who were unhappily married and got divorced, were not happier once they were divorced, or even if they got remarried. But the couples that were unhappy that stayed married, and persevered, and did whatever it took, later on, they were happy! So don’t buy the lie that if you stop juggling all the stuff and go back to juggling just two things that you will get rid of all the pressure. It doesn’t work that way.

Second question to depressurize things is: Are you doing whatever it takes?

The third question is, we miss this a lot,  kind of like Shah Jahan in the middle of building the Taj Mahal, right? We skip over this last question, and that is: Do you remember the original purpose? Don’t miss this—Do you remember the original purpose?

Look at Ephesians 5. Ephesians 5 is the big marriage chapter—one of the big marriage chapters in the New Testament. It has got the “S” word in there that we are not going to read today—don’t worry. Ephesians 5:1-2—“Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children. Live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave Himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God.”

I love this passage. You and I are made in the image of God. We are not lucky mud! God designed you and me for a purpose. It is to reflect who He is.

He is telling us here to be imitators of God—reflect God. God has dearly loved you and me, and out of this vertical love, we are to love horizontally.

So, once we receive God’s love for us, and we realize that in Christ, God has chosen to unconditionally love an imperfect person like you and me; once we get a hold of His love, then we are able to love others! We have to keep going back to God’s love, keep going back to the Cross, keep going back and saying, “God, fill me with your Spirit to enable me to live out this love.”

So, your love for one another in marriage is a reflection—here is the purpose—a reflection of Christ’s love for us. See? You’ve got God’s love, and you have love for others—boom! That is the big “L.” That is it.

Now, did God put everything on the table? You bet! He took all of our stuff that was under the table in our lives—-He took all that stuff upon Him! Was God willing to do whatever it took? Yeah—God did whatever it took—He even came down and became a man, and was sacrificed for us, taking our issues, our stuff on the table, and died for us. He showed us what real love is, so that we could be a reflection of that love in our lives, and especially in our marriages.

So, you say, “I don’t feel like loving this person. I don’t feel like loving my spouse—I don’t have these feelings—my needs aren’t getting met. I don’t feel it…”

Listen to this: One pastor put it this way—-He said, “Here is the big problem when it comes to love in our culture—here is the big problem. We think that love is a victim of our emotions, rather than a servant of our wills.” Did you get that? You may want to write that one down! Guys, gals—we probably need to tattoo that to our hand! We think love is an emotion! We are victims of our emotions, rather than servants of our wills! God has given us a WILL. Love is a VERB! Love is something you DO! It is an ACTION!! It is an action.

So, we mirror, we reflect—though dimly, the love—this commitment that God’s love has for us–when we take a step, and take action to do something, to deal with the issues, to do whatever it takes. We are reflecting, or mirror-imaging the love that God has for us. Because He has greatly loved us with this kind of love, we have the capacity to love, and we have hope.

I love what Augustine said, “Hope has two beautiful daughters—their names are anger, and courage. Anger at the way things are; and courage to see they do not remain the way they are.” Hope, anger, courage and love.

THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER

Week 2B

Bil Cornelius

This is a fun one, because this is where we talk about a move that you see all the time in Mixed Marshall Arts Fighting. And the move is called the choke out; this when you choke someone out, they lose oxygen, they either get scared and tap out or they literally pass out. Both happen all the time; it’s very, very common. The choke out is one of the signature moves to take someone down. I believe that there’s an enemy trying to choke out your dreams, trying to cut off oxygen from your vision. I want to talk about a guy in scripture named Joseph. Joseph had a great dream. He had this dream that he was going to be a leader. Not an uncommon dream, a lot of people dream of being a great leader, and that’s what he dreamed of. The problem was it didn’t go very well in his life. He had all kinds of problems for many, many years. He had many reasons to believe his dream was going to be choked out. And maybe that’s you today, maybe you’ve got a dream, but you feel like it’s being choked out of you. So what do you do in that situation? Let’s look at some scripture and let’s learn how to avoid destiny blackout; how to keep your vision from getting choked out. Pull out your notes if you would, we’re going to be looking at Genesis chapter 37, 38, 39, 40, and 41. We’re going to be skimming this story very quickly to pull out some morsels and nuggets about how we can avoid destiny blackout. Let’s start in Genesis chapter 37 verses 5 through 8. Just to give you a little background real quick: Joseph was the son of his father and mother, but his father had another wife. This was very common back in the day. And so Joseph’s brothers come from another mother and the same dad, then Joseph comes from the same dad, but a different mom, so basically, all these brothers didn’t really like Joseph much. So now Joseph goes from favored son, to hated son, to slaved son, right? To slave in the crazy home, to slave now in prison. God blessed Potiphar’s home just because Joseph was there. Could it be said of you and me; just because we are in our office, our office gets blessed? Just because you’re in your family, the family is blessed. Could it be said just because you’re in this church, our church is blessed? Just because you’re here, just because you showed up, we’re blessed. The truth is some people are just a blessing with whatever they do. I love people like that; don’t you love people like that? Did you know it says that in scripture that Potiphar had no worries? He’s like everything’s fine, I don’t, I don’t even have anything to do anymore. Why? Josephs got it covered. Then Joseph ends up in jail and Joseph took care of the jail. He had that jail spic and span, like unbelievable. I mean it was crazy. I’m telling you, Joseph had the skills to pay the bills. This guy had some talent. He could organize anything, everyone liked him, he’d get everyone in teams and get everything happening, get everything going smoothly. He organized them; it says the jailer had no worries because of Joseph. That’s how good he was at what he did. What does that teach us? Number two: Never allow setbacks and false accusations to choke out the dream. Just because you got a setback, and I mean this is a bad setback. I’m pretty sure you’ve had a setback, but I don’t see you being sold into slavery. That’s a setback. Now look, I know your spouse may have left you, but you weren’t sold into slavery by your spouse. Listen, I know some bad things have happened to you at work, but no one owns you. I mean that’s bad, that’s real bad. And then when you’re owned, you’re falsely accused and thrown into a prison. This, this is going from bad to worse. Joseph by the way ends up in the king’s prison, the king’s dungeon. That’s a different place. This is not, this is, this is not where most criminals go. This is a special prison, and this prison is for people that are doing the white collar crime. Anyone who did the other crimes just got killed frankly. They didn’t have a prison population issue, they killed everybody. Because that was not a problem. I mean they, they really saved a lot of money on prisons. They’re like oh, let’s just kill him. Okay no problem, that’s cheap, a lot cheaper to just to grab a knife, slit a throat, we’re done, bury him, okay we’re good. And so they didn’t have that as an issue. They had a small prison, but the prison was for special people that, that the king was punishing for a season, okay. And so Potiphar, because he was in charge of the king’s guard, which means he oversaw the prison, knew he had access to this prison. Joseph ends up in that prison. I wonder how much knowledge Joseph acquired from this prison. See it’s one thing to go serve hard time in some very difficult maximum, you know maximum security prisons. I mean you’re going to learn all kinds of bad things, but if you go to a white collar crime minimum security prison, you actually may get a good education. I mean if my cell mate is Martha Stewart, I can learn a whole lot about business for a couple years. Does that make sense? And so again, I’m not saying that’s actually good, but you can learn a lot from, from certain people that end up in prison. So he was in the right prison. If you could be, he was in the right prison, you know if there is such a thing. So he’s around some, some of the right people. Sometimes the people that, that turn on you, and hurt you, and, and place you in a bad position, are placing you in a bad. You know what we focus on? We focus on the bad position, and what we don’t focus on is why we are in this bad position. Maybe there’s a good connection in the bad position. Maybe there’s some good. I’m going to say that again. Maybe there’s a good connection in a bad position. Maybe there’s someone there you’re going to meet, you’re going to get to know that’s going to be a huge relationship for you down the road. And so there are some critical hook ups, some critical connections that may be happening. Even when you’re in the worst of jobs, maybe they are too. You’re in the worst of situations, maybe they are two. And rather than just somehow believing everyone around you is just supposed to be at that level, and just you’re not. Maybe there not either and God brought you there together to hook up relationally, I’m not necessarily saying a dating relationship or anything like that. Maybe just a friendship, a connection. And so Joseph gets to meet some pretty important people. He gets to know some people that work for the king. And the kings are temperamental, they get mad and I’ll send the cup bearer down to the prison for a couple days; send the baker down to the prison for a couple days. That’s what happens here. And so now these guys are in prison and so because of this, they, you know they’re obviously very upset, they have dreams. You know we tend to dream what’s going on in our lives a lot of times. We tend to dream stuff. And he, they had these dreams. They get so frustrated with a dream, not knowing what it means that they go to Joseph. They said you know we heard that you’re kind of a dreamer; we heard you had a dream one time. Could you help us interpret our dream? It’s interesting that they go to Joseph about their dream, which means Joseph must still be talking about his. It’s really important to keep your dream alive that you never quit talking about it. Now, you need to talk about it in front of the right people, but you need to keep talking about it. Joseph is still dreaming the dream. And there’s the evidence; he did not give up on his dream, even though he was a falsely accused, imprisoned slave. This is not the position you want to be in. What did he do? He said you know I’m here, I’m stuck here, what am I going to do? I’m going to make this the nicest prison around. And that’s exactly; he started serving everyone around him. Look at Genesis 40 verse 12 through 15. After he interprets the baker’s dream, which doesn’t go so well. He says man, I heard your dream, I hate to say this, but I think God’s told me what your dream is. I think you’re going to die in three days and I’m really sorry. The baker flips out, he’s mad obviously. Unfortunately, three days later, that dream comes true. The cup bearer of the king, who apparently the king was also mad at, sent him to the dungeon, was also in there, says here’s my dream. And then he interpreted it, look what he says:  “Within three days Pharaoh will lift up your head and restore you to your position; and you will put Pharaoh’s cup into his hand just as you used to do when you were his cupbearer. But when all goes well with you, remember me and show me kindness. Mention me to Pharaoh and get me out of this prison. For I was forcibly carried off from the land of the Hebrews, and even here I have done nothing to deserve being put in a dungeon.”  He says yo man, I’m innocent. How many times has that been said in prison, right? Sure you are. But in this case and there are cases where people truly are innocent. I mean it does happen. As much as we want to believe everyone’s guilty there, there really are some people that are truly innocent. Now there’s a lot of people that are not, they’re just in denial. But there are a few that truly are innocent, and Joseph truly was at this point. He says to the cup bearer: you know what I think? God’s going to allow you by his grace in three days to be restored to what you used to do for the king, and listen, when you get there, hook a brother up. Could you tell the king of my talents, could you tell him how comfortable you were down here, how nice and clean it is as opposed to the last time he got mad at you and threw you down here. Now Joseph’s down here, it’s all nice and clean, here’s my e-mail, joseph@dungeon.com, have him e-mail me, you know I’d love to hook up. I can tell them about my old member’s only jacket I got. You know I mean, I could tell him my story, you know he’s like I can really help the king out, I got some skills, I can help the guy out. Please let him know about me, right. So what happens? Look at Genesis chapter 40 verse 23: “The chief cup bearer however, did not remember Joseph, he forgot him.” Man, this is so typical isn’t it? He’s like okay, let me get this straight. I hook you up, you come down here, I get you a nice comfortable bed, you’re hungry, who gets you the food? Joseph. Who takes care of you? Joseph. Who makes sure they’re not beating up on you? Joseph. Who gives you even an interpretation of your dream? Joseph. So you go back to the king and do you remember Joseph? No, we forget about Joseph. Why? Because we’re good, because we’re comfortable, we’re alright. Have you ever taught someone something, taught them something big time, and it helped elevate their position, and when they get in the position, they forgot about you? Have you ever made your boss look good, and they get a raise off of the work you did, and then the boss tells you, sorry man, not this year? Have you ever helped someone through college and the moment they’re through college, they’re also happened to be through with you? Have you ever helped someone make a connection with someone, and the moment you need some help, they’re suddenly not available. Have you ever trained someone in your company and then all of a sudden, they step out and become your competitor? You think, you’ve got a be kidding me. I do all this for this person and you just forget about me. You forget all I’ve done for you, all the help I’ve been, all the ways I’ve connected you, and helped bring you up and then you blow me off, you got a be kidding me. You know what you learn in that situation? You learn, like the cup bearer, you learn that the cup bearer you thought was your friend, really what it was, he was your friend when he needed you, but the moment he didn’t need you anymore, when it actually served his purpose better; he just stepped right over you like they step on people to get to where they want to go. Happens doesn’t it? It happens. And you learn someone wasn’t a friend, they were an opportunist. What do you do when you’ve been forgotten, when someone’s hurt you, when someone’s turned on you, what do you do, do you get angry? I’m so mad, I can’t believe, and the next _____ _____comes to prison, hey how you doing? What’s your name? Oh, oh yeah, nice to meet you, so you’re the new baker, yeah, nice to meet you. You got in throne in prison too. Oh let me tell you about that cup bearer you got. You know that cup bearer? Let me tell you something about him. Does Joseph do that? Hm mm, what does he do? He prays, he says save us O Lord, he keeps serving, he says you know what? God has a purpose in this. I’m not going to worry about it. Let me ask you a question. Do you remember your God when things are going bad? Don’t you realize that the problems are a test? The whole purpose of your pain is God’s asking one question and one question only; do you really love me or do you love my stuff? Do you love me or do you love what I can do for you? Are you really into me or are you into what you may get if you follow me? So sometimes the Lord will allow you to not get his stuff, to not get the holy hookup, to not get all that he has for you. Why? Because he wants to know your heart. Are you going to worship God when you don’t feel it? Are you going to honor him when it’s not going well? Are you going to love your spouse three kids later, 25 pounds later? You going to love your spouse when they lose their hair? This is really important to me, really, really important to me. (Laughter) Are you going to love your spouse when things are not going well in the marriage? Are you going to still work for your company when they can’t bonus you? Are you still going to be faithful to your friends, even when they hurt you, didn’t even mean to, or maybe they meant to and you just forgive like we realize we’re all in the human condition and we are to forgive one another, because we all offend each other? Or the moment something happens, boom, I’m done with you. Oh God, I served you but then this happened to me so forget it, I’m done worshiping you. Well you know I was going to tithe, but I’m down financially. Oh really? So the tithe is about the last ten percent, it’s what you have left, because you finally have enough to actually give God something. Or is it about saying God, things are tight, I don’t know where we’re going to pay for this and that, but you know what? I am going to love you, and be faithful to you, and I’m going to give to your house, because you know why? You’ve been faithful to me God. What’s it about? It’s a test of the heart isn’t it? It’s always a test of the heart. Hard times test our heart.

So what does Joseph do, number three: he never gives up. And we are never to give up. Spurgeon one time said, Charles Haddon Spurgeon, because you’ll know that he’s a dead preacher, I love quoting dead preachers. This guy was amazing, incredible man of God. He said this one time; he said triumph is just umph added to try. We just need to add some umph to or try. Don’t quit, don’t give up, don’t give in, just keep going, just keep trying. Maybe God had you hear this message at this moment to tell you loud and clear; don’t you dare quit, God’s still in it, he’s not done with you. When he is done with you, you’ll know it because you can give him glory for all he’s going to do. That’s the way God works. So what does Joseph do? Joseph stays faithful, he hangs in there, he keeps the place organized, he keeps the jail going, everything’s going smooth for him. The jailer had no worries because Joseph was in charge. Finally what happens, the king has a problem. And by the way, the number one way that you can be elevated to work in front of kings is that you solve everyone’s problems along the way. Did you catch that? Just solve everyone’s problem along the way, eventually the king. Listen: you know how God elevates you? He gives a bigger problem. People that do great things in the world, they just solve bigger problems. You, you want to, you want to be world renowned, solve world renowned problems, that’s how you do that. And so the king says, I had this dream and I don’t know what it means. And he brings all of his philosophers and sorcerers in and he says, what do you guys think this means, his magicians, everybody. _____ them all, what do you guy’s thing this means. Ah, ah, ah, do you know, I don’t know what…oh I think it means that you are a nice man and that you are. Uh-uh, don’t philosophize with me; tell me what it means. Well it means that you’re all powerful, and you’re really good looking, and no one’s really noticed the hair loss, and I think you’re a great guy. Stop it. What does this mean? Sire, we, we, we don’t know, we have no idea. Get out of here, get away from me. Does anyone know what this dream means? And the cup bearer holding that cup, just sat there and went oh, ding, ding, ding, finally about time. He goes sir, I’m kind of a little embarrassed, I just now remember this guy, I got his e-mail somewhere, his name is Joseph. He’s in your dungeon. Anyways, if you got to dungeon.com, you’ll see him there; he’s on the front cover, because he keeps the whole place up. Anyway, he’s a great guy. Ah, his name’s Joseph. In interpreted a dream for me and it came true. Well what was your dream? Well the dream was that three days after you put me to prison, that three days, that was my dream while I was in the prison, that you’d restore me and here I am you know, giving you your wine, which by the way, thanks for the job back. But he’s in prison and you know he interpreted my dream and he was dead on. Well how do you know he’s that good? Well because he also interpreted, remember the old baker? Oh yeah, I remember him. Yeah, he interpreted he was going to die before you killed him. He says you’re kidding me. He says yeah, he’s really accurate. Alright, bring him up; I want to meet this guy. Joseph gets his shot. So he comes up, he gets cleaned up, puts on his nice prison clothes; you know gets all shaved up, he’s good. He goes in front of the king and what does he say to the king. It’s very important what he says. He says I don’t interpret dreams, but my God does, and may my God have favor on this now. How can I interpret your dream? He brings God up right away, in front of a king. You don’t do that. The kings supposed to be God. And he acknowledges in front of the king, I have a God. Hate to break it to you, you’re not it. I have a God and he will interpret your dream. And so then the king told him the dream. He says man, I had this crazy dream, this happens and that happens, and so there’s these fat cows and these skinny cows, this is crazy you know. And so he says oh, I know what this means: the first seven years of the next seven years in the economy are going to be great. I mean things will be blowing and going, everything’s going to be awesome, everybody’s going to be building fat houses everywhere, the stock markets going to be going straight up, it’s all going to be good. Then the next seven years, it all falls apart. And then he says this, it’s very interesting. He says now what you want to do in the first seven years king, if you don’t mind me giving you advice, is you want to save 20% of the gross national product over the next seven years. The king says that’s genus. And he says if you do that, then you will have so much grain that all the world will come and borrow from you, and you’ll basically be China. Oh, okay, that’s awesome, that’s brilliant right. So we’ll save all this money. Basically at this point, he says that’s a plan that I just, you don’t have to do that king, but that’s what I would do. That’s what the dream means. I would save everything up for the next seven years, because the next seven years are going to be pretty tough and you’re going to need to have something. The king says woo, this guys brilliant. So he must turn to the cup bearer and go: you vouch for this guy? The cup bearer’s like, yeah, he’s unbelievable, alright, sitting there holding his cup, ya know, he’s like yeah, this guy, I’m telling you, you need to go look at that dungeon, you’re not going to believe how nice, you wouldn’t even think it’s a dungeon anymore, it’s crazy man. They changed the name of the dungeon, it’s like dungeon a la beautiful, it’s crazy. (Laughter) You should see it down there, right. And so then at some point, at some point Potiphar could have spoke up and said hold on, this guy raped my wife, you got a be kidding me. Notice he doesn’t do that. What does that tell ya? See that’s why I believe my, my theory’s right, because he could have said, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, this guy, uh-uh, no. We are not letting him become the leader of Russia, you got a be kidding. This guy was all over my wife man, you got a be kidding me. And he doesn’t say that, he says sir, probably a good move. Because I got admit, my household was running good. We always want to run stuff. Let’s make, oh I want to run this big organization. Really, are you running your own checkbook good? Ah man, I want to organize this whole office. What does the trunk of your car look like? (Laughter) Oh I’m sorry, let me get out of there, I’m going to back up, I’m sorry, I didn’t mean that. See the thing is, we all want to step up and run all this stuff; are, are you running what you got? Why don’t we start with that, run that well first, okay? And so what does the, what does the king do, Genesis 41:39: then Pharaoh said to Joseph, “Since God has made all this known to you, there is no one so discerning and wise as you. You shall be in charge of my palace and all my people are to submit to your orders, only with respect to the throne will I be greater than you.” He says only because I’m the king, am I going to be over you. Do you understand how humble that was for the king to say? The only reason that I’m even over you frankly, is because I’m in charge, but you’re that sharp. So what happens to Joseph? Favorite kid, hated kid, enslaved kid, enslaved to crazy person, falsely accused, enslaved and in prison, and then when God wants to do his work, he can grab a hold of you and say now you are ready for what I have. Listen, that’s the way God works. He will take you from the most obscure place and raise you up. That’s what God does.

So what are we supposed to do? Be like Joseph, number four: He did what he could with what he had, where he was. He was good at organizing and he could tell some dreams.

And he just kept organizing and telling dreams, and organizing and telling dreams, and administrating and telling dreams, and working hard and telling dreams, and eventually God used that to raise him to the highest heights. Now favorite part of story: Joseph right, this is so cool. Joseph’s brothers eventually, okay let’s fast forward 14 years later, right. Now we’re in the middle of this famine, or we’re at least 7 years in. Famine hits us bad, couple years into the famine, we’re probably 9, 10 years in; his brothers show up to Egypt, they’re so hurting. All the world is walking their way to Egypt, because they hear there’s grain there. They all show up, they’re giving; I mean it’s unbelievable; this is like Egypt becomes the worldwide pawn shop. People are like alright man, I got this, I got these three donkeys, I’ll give you three donkeys and two camels for that one bag of grain. I mean they’re making deals that are ridiculous, right? That’s how pawn shops survive, because they’re like oh man, that one thousand dollar _____ ten speed, I’ll give you a hundred bucks for it. And the guys so desperate, he’s like sure that’d be great, I need the hundred dollars, right. And so they’re doing deals that you just wouldn’t do unless you’re desperate. So they’re like alright, you can have all this stuff, you can half my household if you’ll just give me three more weeks worth of food. I mean that’s how bad things are, right? And Joseph’s not gouging, but the price of grains going up, and going up, and going up on the market, I mean they are just making money hand over fist, crazy money, right? So Joseph is now the man, he’s in charge of the whole place, he’s on the cover of Egyptian People Magazine. I mean this guy’s got it going on. He’s got the bling, bling, man, he’s got the chariot with the spinners, I’m telling you, he had it happening. (Laughter) He had a life that was unbelievable, right? He’s got all these workers, and servants, and his whole family’s married, and now he’s got kids, I mean all, the whole deal, right? He’s got the Egyptian look going down now, he scraped the whole Hebrew look, he’s got the Egyptian look going down. All of a sudden his Hebrew brothers show up. And they show up and they’re like excuse me sir, we understand this is where you get grain. And Joseph recognized them and he’s like oh my goodness. And so he tells them, finally he reveals himself, this is over a series of events, I don’t have time to go into it. He reveals himself, he pulls off his Egyptian you know, gear and he’s like yo man, I’m just going to undo my hair. Look, I’m Joseph, I’m, I’m that kid that, remember me, I’m the one you sold, I, I, that’s me. They freak out; they’re like oh my goodness. No way your Joseph. He gives them grain. What does that mean? That means his dream came true. Their grain, their production, their leadership bowed to his. He gave them the grain. That’s not my favorite part, I got two favorite parts, here it is. It’s my favorite, one of my favorite, first, first favorite part is this: What if the people who have hurt you the most, God is going to raise you up. You got to be comfortable with this, God may raise you up to save the very people who have hurt you. Wow, God may raise you up to help those who didn’t help you.

Second favorite part of this, is that the boys did not recognize Joseph. What does that tell me? It tells me that when God is through with you: your friends, your family, you go back to the high school reunion, the family reunion, they’re going to go that isn’t you. Come on, is that, is that little Joe, is that little Joe, you got to be kidding me? The dude who’s in charge of all of Egypt, he’s got all this stuff going on and he pulls up in the bling, ling chariot, I mean, it is you? Because when God is done with you, he has so much planned for you that your friends and family from way back won’t even recognize you; that’s how much God has planned for you. So I want to encourage you. The heart of this message is really simple: Do what you can with what you have, where you are. I got a question for you and we’re going to close. The question is this. When people say I just, I’m choking out man, I can’t go any longer, I can’t. Really? You really can’t go any longer; I mean you’re really done? I’m not sure I buy it. I’m not sure I really believe there’s nothing else you can do. Oh marriage is just over, there’s just nothing else I can do. Really? Why don’t you go home and vacuum today? That’s something you can do. Man, there’s just nothing I, nothing else I can do on my job. Really, nothing at all? Yeah, just, just nothing. Why don’t you go clean the office? Clean the office, what are you talking about man. We have people to do that. Why don’t you help them? There’s just nothing I can do man, you just don’t understand, I, I, I, just, I just can’t lose weight. I mean I’ve been on diet, after diet, after diet. Well why don’t you just actually stick to one, that’s a shock? You mean, oh wow, stick to one, I’ve never done that. (Laughter) Are you sure there’s nothing you can do? My health is just over with, it’s just done, there’s just nothing I can do. I don’t buy it. There’s always something you could do. You can write down something from this message. Write this down: There’s always something else I can do. Business owner; my business is going under, it’s just done, there’s just nothing else I can do. Really, there’s nothing? Because I bet there are ten options and you’re just too arrogant to try. Or dare I say some of us need to hear this: Maybe you’re too humble to try. It’s time to get over yourself either way and say you know what, there’s something left to do. I’m going to give this a shot, I’m not done. There’s always something else, there’s always another option. God makes a way where there is no way. When God opens a door, no man can shut it. That’s the point. (Crowd noise and applause) There’s always something else, don’t quit. Let’s not quit, God’s not done with you. Lets pray. With your head bowed and your eyes closed, I just want to encourage you as we pray. Maybe your prayer today is if you don’t know Christ, is to receive him in your life. You can pray a simple prayer and ask Jesus to come into your heart right now. You can say Dear Jesus: I realize I need you in my life. I believe he died on the cross for me to pay the price for my sins. That you rose again from the grave, proving that you’re God. And I ask you to come into my heart and change me from within. I want to make you the boss, the Lord, the coach of my life; I put you in charge. I want to follow you from this day forward. As much as I understand, I want to make you the boss, the leader. And I thank you that you died on the cross for me.

With your head bowed and your eyes closed, if you just prayed that pray, Christ comes into your life. Maybe your prayer today is that you’re already a Christ follower, maybe your prayer is to say God, I’ve given up hope and I shouldn’t. I refuse to allow those people, that person, or this situation to choke my dream out. I’m going to refuel my dream and the fuel is always the same, it’s faith. Refuel your dream with faith again and do something. Well we love you, thank you for your word. I pray God that we follow you. Thank you God that we can reignite, re-enliven, refuel our dream. We refuse to allow our destiny to be choked out, in Jesus name, Amen, amen. Isn’t God good? (Applause) His word’s so good.

YOUR GOD IS TOO SMALL

I Doubt It

July 13, 2008

Ben Young

In the second sermon of this series, Ben discusses his own personal journey as a Christian and how he started wading into the pool of doubt and skepticism. Because our questions can either lead us away from God or draw us closer to Him, Ben will challenge and encourage you to go to God with your questions and doubts. God wants us to bring our questions to Him and He wants us to know that He is bigger than our doubts.

Do me a favor today. If you are on the far right hand side of the pew, look under the pew and you will find some multi-colored cards—green, pink and blue. Take a card and pass it down. For those of you who are members here, don’t panic. You don’t have to put an amount on it; that is in February! Take your card, and flip it over to the blank side. Don’t use the side with the lines. That’s a little too linear for us today. I want you to write one word in the upper left hand corner. One word. I’m doing it too. Write the word God. Then put a comma after God. Take that card and just hold on to it. We’ll get back to it later on in the service. Put it in your Bible, or put it in the rack there; but don’t lose it. Hold on to your “God” card.

I want to read you what I think is one of the most bizarre passages in the New Testament. I just find this Scripture really strange. When I tell you the address, you’re probably going to think, “What?” Matthew 28:16-20 is the passage that I find to be strange. Look at verse 16, “Then the eleven disciples went to Galilee to the mountain where Jesus had told them to go. When they saw Him, they worshipped Him, but some doubted. Then Jesus came to them and said, ‘All authority on Heaven and earth has been given to Me.’” That’s a lot of authority on both sides of the wall! “‘Therefore, go and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, teaching them to obey everything I have commanded you, and surely I am with you to the very end of the age.’”

Did you catch the bizarre part there? I didn’t catch it for probably 20 years. I’ve read this passage over, and over again, but just a few years back, it just kind of popped out to me. I find it to be quite strange. Here is the context: You have eleven disciples. Judas had killed himself; but these eleven disciples had been with Jesus three years. They had eaten with Him; they’d hung out with Him; they’d been on many excursions together. They had seen blind people regain their sight; deaf people hear; lame people walk. They had seen Jesus feed 5,000 people with a simple Happy Meal, walk on the water without a bridge, and raise Lazarus from the dead. They saw Him stripped naked, crucified by the Roman authorities, and laid in the tomb. They were scared spit-less, so they hid in an upper room. Three days later, Jesus Christ appeared to them. Over a 40 day period, He appeared to over 500 eyewitnesses.

This is the 40^th day, and He is about to commission them to go out and take the message of the grace, truth and love of Jesus around the world to all cultures and people. Here He is on this mountain where He told them He would be, and it says, “Some worshipped, but some doubted…”

Call me crazy, but I don’t think I would have doubted if I’d seen all those fireworks and supernatural acts. Some doubted. I find that astonishing. But, if I were to reflect for just a little bit and be honest, I can’t judge these doubting disciples too harshly because I’ve done the very same thing.

My journey with God started in a small mill town in Canton, North Carolina. That’s where the God journey started for me. Canton was a great little town of about 5,000 people near Asheville.  There is a photo of me when I was little. Look at that big old ham head, and the little bitty body. That’s me when I was a little bitty tyke in Canton. I was eating some ice cream. My brother Ed, who is two years older than me, has a country church up in Dallas. Check this out. I’m Batman, and he’s Robin. He’s a head taller than me—he’s older. The reason he says that he’s Robin—if you know Ed, you can appreciate this if you watch him on T.V.—he said he liked Robin’s costume better! I think it’s because I was smarter, but anyway…

We grew up, and we had a lot of fun. There were just two boys then in our family. People would ask, “What was it like growing up in your home?” Well, we basically fought every day until we were fifteen. That’s what boys do, and so many mothers of boys say, “My kids fight!” We fought every day! We took a beating for it too, but anyway, we had a great time growing up, especially in North Carolina. We had all four seasons there. When it snowed, we’d have this big old sled, and we’d go down the hill. It was a great childhood in many ways.

My mom likes to tell the story of when we went out to this gigantic Christmas tree farm when I was four years old. I was looking over a valley at hills of Christmas trees stretching for miles and miles. I looked up, and I said out loud, “This is God’s beautiful world!” My mom has always remembered that story and she loves to tell it. I think it’s interesting—I don’t think there have been many four year old atheists in the world! Not even Richard Dawkins’ son. There is something built in kids that when you are born, and you grow up and see the world and its complexities, you realize that there is a big God behind all of it. I knew that intuitively. I was also raised in a family that believed in God and the Bible, and they tried to teach my brother and me how to live out the words of the Bible. That’s what our family was like growing up. They nurtured our belief, our faith, and our trust in God at a very young age. I’m thankful for that.

After five years in North Carolina, my dad got a call from a church in Taylors, South Carolina, which is just outside of Greenville. They asked him if he would come and be the pastor of their church, the First Baptist Church of Taylors. At the time my dad was the pastor of the First Baptist Church of Canton. My dad prayed about it, thought about it, and talked to my mom about it. I don’t know if we had a family meeting back then or not, but if we did, it meant we were moving. So we moved to Taylors. Taylors was a great town. There were a lot of young families there, and it was a great place to live for just a little while.

One Sunday after church when I was seven years old, I was in the backyard with my dad and this college guy named Jim Oliver. Our church was located pretty close to Furman University, so we had a lot of college kids who came to our church, and we had a fantastic youth ministry. It was during the 60’s and on Friday nights we’d have these acid-rock concerts at our church in our fellowship hall, and my parents wouldn’t let Ed or me go to them because they were so wild. That’s how edgy it was!  Anyway, I regress. My story is, it was Sunday afternoon and we were in the backyard lying on beach towels in the sun. That is before we knew about sun block, skin cancer, and whatnot…We were catching rays, and I remember telling my dad, “Hey dad, I want to become a Christian. I want to ask Jesus into my life.” He said, “Well, let me explain this to you,” and I think he went through the four spiritual laws. That was a little pamphlet that was put out many years ago by Bill Bright that explained the Christian message, and the terms of laws. In other words, it said if there are natural laws and scientific laws, there are also spiritual laws. There are four spiritual laws according to this booklet. That’s what my dad shared with me. The first law was, “God loves you and has a wonderful plan for your life!” That’s a good law, right? The second law was bad news, “We are all sinners, and we have messed up and are separated from God.” The third law was, “Jesus Christ died on the Cross to bring us back to God and forgive us.” The fourth law was critical, and it called for a decision, and you had to ask Jesus to come into your heart and trust Him if you were to receive the benefits of the Cross and what He did for you.

I remember as a little tyke asking Christ to come into my life. Then on a Sunday night at church, at the end of the service we had an invitation, a time of decision (like we do here). People could come and walk down front and become a Christian by trusting in Christ. You could join the church, or rededicate your life. You could rededicate your rededications, and all those things that the Baptist tradition did. I remember that night I was on the second row, because it was a long aisle. During the hymn, Just As I Am, in the second stanza, I got up and walked down and shook the hand of the pastor/dad. I made it official, telling everybody, “Hey. I really want to follow Christ!”

Then later, I was taken up into a swimming pool kind of deal and was baptized. That kind of began my official relationship, if you would, with Christ and with the church.

In many ways back then, it was a magical time in the history of the church in America, because we were just coming out of the 60’s where there was a moral, political, and sexual revolution in our country. There was a movement going on that started on the West Coast called The Jesus Movement. What happened was that people who had been stoned out on drugs (LSD, acid, etc.) were coming and experiencing Jesus out on the streets. You had all these long-haired guys with beards and long-haired ladies who were into Jesus called “Jesus Freaks.” They brought their music, and that’s kind of how the whole electric guitar and band stuff eventually found its way into the church. You can trace it back to The Jesus Movement.

I remember hearing a story about one of the guys who came to our church to speak, Rick Carrino. This guy was a member of Hell’s Angel’s Motorcycle Gang. That was the most notorious gang in the nation at the time. To get into Hell’s Angels—one of the things he had to do, I won’t forget this, was to eat an entire cat! Sorry about the breakfast, folks. But he had to eat an entire cat. He was in Hell’s Angels, doing whatever Hell’s Angels do—I guess raising hell. Rick had a bad LSD trip and his fellow riders thought he’d overdosed and died, so they threw him in a dumpster. A dumpster was going to be his grave. He lay there for a couple of days until he woke up out of his drug coma, and he was still alive. Somehow, he found his way to someone who told him about Christ. Christ radically changed Rick’s life!

So as a young little tyke, seven or eight years old; I got to see firsthand this incredible move of God that started on the West Coast. It finally made its way to the East Coast and to the South, all these young people – tens of thousands coming to know Christ in a real, authentic way! I had the privilege to watch that.

After three years in Taylors, a phone call came from another church. It was from First Baptist Church of Columbia, South Carolina. They asked my dad to come be pastor of that church. So he prayed about it and thought about it and deliberated; and sure enough, we loaded up the truck and moved to Beverly, also known as Columbia. It was a big move for us, because Columbia was what we thought was a big town. A lot of you have not even heard of it; but it is where The University of South Carolina is located. We were big South Carolina fans—Game Cock fans; so we liked that. It was a different place.

This church was located smack-dab in the middle of downtown Columbia, right by the YMCA. This church was also an historical landmark for the state of South Carolina and for the nation.

After the Civil War, Sherman was going through and burning down Atlanta. You remember the documentary on that, Gone with the Wind. After he went through Atlanta, he came to Columbia and wanted to burn down the First Baptist Church of Columbia. That was eventually where my dad would pastor. You say, “Why did he want to burn the church down?” The documents that the politicians and leaders of South Carolina signed to secede from the Union were signed on the Lord’s Supper Table in our chapel. South Carolina was the first state to secede, that’s Southern. Sherman wanted to burn this church down to the ground. He was marching through Columbia, and there was a janitor out on the front of the church on the steps sweeping. Sherman and his men came through, and asked, “Where is the First Baptist Church?” The janitor said, “Right down there around the corner” pointing to the Methodist Church! This is written on the marker. Sherman and his men burned down the Methodist Church. The First Baptist Church with its red brick columns stood, and it’s still standing today.

When my dad was called to that church to be the pastor, you can imagine there were some great and Godly people there, but it was a deep, traditional church. The amount of traditionalism and racism that he had to battle there was unbelievable, but God used him and used the staff there in a mighty way. That was a big time in my life, because we lived in Columbia for about seven years during my middle school years.

During that time of your life things are changing, if you can remember that. Your body is changing, your voice is changing, and your desires are changing. Guys start liking people of the opposite sex, and girls become attractive. There was this girl that I was attracted to, named Allison. I was in 7^th grade, but I looked like I was in 2^nd grade. I was really skinny back then. Allison was in 7^th grade, but she looked like she was twenty-seven. No lie. She was a blond bomb shell, mature, the total package. College guys in our ministry would hit on her, not knowing that they were about to break the law. I had some grandiose idea that little, skinny me could somehow get a date, or ask Allison to “go” with me. Back then, that’s what we did. You didn’t say, “Are you going out?” You said, “Will you go with me?” You would ask them that. It was weird that you never went any place. Also, you never actually talked to the person. Maybe that’s why male/female relationships worked so well back then.

Anyhow, I saw Allison at a church function, and I went up to her and looked her in the eye, and I said, “Allison, will you go…” No, that’s not what I did! This is junior high, folks. Back then, you never talked directly to a member of the opposite sex! Never! You had to go through their agent, who is their pretty, but not-as-pretty best friend.

One night, Allison and her friend were having a sleepover, so I called her on the phone. Her friend, Beth, answered the phone. I said, “Beth?” She said, “Yeah?” “Uh, this is uh, Ben, and um, I was wondering, um, if you could ask, um Allison if she would maybe want to go with me?” She puts the phone down, and I could hear muffled voices in the background. Then Beth gets back on the phone, and she utters the six cruelest words ever assembled in the English language! Beth said, “Allison said she just wants to be friends.” Whoo-hoo! Game, set, match! Dagger in my heart! I pulled it out, hung up the phone, ran to my bedroom, buried my face in this synthetic, blue fur bed spread—yeah, out of the Greg Brady attic collection, and I cried and cried! I remember saying, “God, why can I not have a girlfriend like my older brother? Why did You make me so skinny?” As if it was all His fault! That’s the first “Why-me, why God” prayer I ever remember uttering as a kid.

Eventually, I got over that and moved on in 7^th and 8^th grade. Back then, I was encouraged by the people at church to read my Bible, every day. A new Bible came out during this time called The Living Bible. It was a paraphrase. Back then, you basically had The Living Bible and the King James. The Living Bible was controversial because it put the Bible in modern-day language so that people could understand it. God forbid that you’d have a translation of the Bible that people could understand. Anyway, keep those Thou’s, and Thine’s and confuse them.

I started reading this Living Bible. This is the very one that I read; it’s still got my name and address on it, as well as phone number. I would read a chapter every night before I went to bed. I’d start in Matthew, and go all the way to Revelation, and read through the entire New Testament. I liked the New Testament, with the exception of Matthew 7, and Matthew 25. Those chapters really scared me, and they still scare me. But the good thing about that was that the Bible and the Word of God became an anchor in my life.

Let me say this: Obviously I grew up in a home where both my parents were Christians. I’m probably a fourth generation Christian. My dad was a pastor, but he raised my brother and me, and eventually Cliff to be Christians. It wasn’t like, “Okay—I’m a preacher. You need to be a preacher’s kid. You need to do this because…” No, no, no! We do this because we’re Christians, and because we’re trying to follow Christ. My house was very normal.

My parents didn’t come home and say, “Now Ben, have you memorized I Chronicles yet? How is that going for you? Well, hallelujah, Edwin! I’m glad you’re home from work! Praise God, JoBeth!” It wasn’t that way in my household. Christianity and the church was not something we talked about all the time. It was something we lived out. I saw this modeled for me by my parents. We probably talked more about basketball than anything else; sports is kind of what got us through the wonder years/awkward years. But I’m thankful for having parents that raised us in that way.

As my junior high years were coming to an end, my parents had a family conference. The last family conference we had, we found out my mom was pregnant with Cliff, who is nine years younger than I am. So I thought, either my mom was pregnant (which I didn’t think was possible) or here comes The Mayflower moving van again. Sure enough, we were moving to Houston, Texas. Talk about a paradigm shift from Columbia, South Carolina, to Houston, Texas, the 4^th largest city in the nation. If you’re not from Texas, you have these images of what Texas is like. A tumbleweed rolling down the street, and everybody in a cowboy hat with an oil well in the backyard, which we all need right now.

When we arrived here in Houston, it was wild. I can remember driving over that long bridge in Louisiana. My brother had this light blue, baby blue Regal with a landau roof. Remember that cushy, landau roof? Do I have a witness? He had this sunroof, and he had his hands sticking out the sunroof because it looked like really good fishing underneath the bridge. He and my brother Cliff like to fish. I hate it!

Anyway, we got here to Houston, and it was great. We now had professional sports in our own city. We thought that was fantastic. I can remember in ‘68 when the Astrodome was built, my brother and I thought that Heaven had come down to earth. An indoor arena for all three sports—whoo! We were glad to be in Houston for the sports alone. I went to high school here, and continued to pour myself into school and into study, and basketball. We had a great youth group back then here at Second Baptist of about three people. It was really small.

I remember when we first got here on a Sunday night in August; we were sitting down in the old sanctuary. I turned around and looked, and the place was just empty. It was pew city. We had left this thriving church in the capital city of South Carolina, and I was like, “What are we doing at Second Baptist?” I remember thinking, “Man, my dad is crazy! Why did he come here? We had so much going on. I liked the city, but wow. This church is just not happening!”

In high school, we had a really good youth group, and I had great youth leaders who really cared for us, and poured themselves into us. That helped my brother and me survive high school. I think high school for most people is something that you survive, not thrive! I mean there are a couple—every class has the beautiful people who already look mature, and have it all together, and have smooth faces, and they’re all this and that…but most people are kind of like I was. Show me there in that tux! Nice! Yeah, that’s nice! Most people were like that—you were skinny, gangly, fat, or wherever you were in-between. Clearasil was your best friend. The youth group and basketball helped me to survive those years.

Then college came around, and that was a lot of fun. I met a lot of great friends in college who I’m still close to today. Jimmy Seibert is one of my close friends. I roomed with him for three years at school. Sam Adams (who is now a psychologist), Dave Riggle, (who works here on staff), and Robert Hurley are still good friends of mine from college. I made some really great friendships in college

My senior year in college was a real time of transition in my life; and to steal a phrase from Dickens, “These were the best of times, and these were the worst of times.” I’ll deal with the best of times first. The best thing that happened to me in college was that I met this beautiful, vivacious girl who was probably the most popular, sold-out girl on campus. I was this kind of reclusive, semi-nerd, study guy. I didn’t really engage in life that much, and somehow we got together and fell in love, and we’re still in love and have been married seventeen years. That’s my wife Elliott. There’s a photo of us the night before we got married.

That was the best part of my senior year. Best of times and the worst of times! My senior year was weird. I had found all these friends of mine throughout college who really loved God and Christ. They were from all different denominational expressions, and we got together and said, “Okay, our senior year, we’re going to live in the same house, all six guys, and we’re going to bring revival, whatever that is, kind of a Jesus movement, to our university.” That was our goal.

The first Sunday, we all went to a church that was the most radical in town. It was a growing, happening church. The long time pastor of the church was a national figure at the time and known locally as well, of course. He was married and had two kids. He got up the first Sunday we attended, the very first Sunday of the school year and announced that he had been having a homosexual affair for nine years! That church didn’t split after that; it shattered into a trillion pieces! A lot of people left the church.

I thought about leaving, although I hadn’t really gone to it consistently. But I remember thinking, “You know what? This church needs me right now!” A church doesn’t need you when things are going great, but when your pastor has problems and issues and leaves, that’s when you are really needed. So I stayed there, and I’m so glad I did. I had a great Bible teacher/Sunday School teacher by the name of Jaime Lash who taught me about identity, and what it means to be in Christ. The pastor who stepped in was an older guy, a great guy named Charles Davis. He stepped in and did a fantastic job. So that was a horrific part and a good part at the same time.

Also that year, my friends and I were really into seeing God move in a supernatural way. We wanted God to do a miracle; to heal somebody; to cast demons out of people. We wanted to witness to street people and we had this idea of taking the Gospel to the street, and also watching the supernatural power of God happen. One of my friends, Bill Hill, was on campus one day and came up on a wreck. The ambulance lights were going and the sirens were blaring. A bicycle was turned over, and the wheel was spinning. There was a car there and people crowded around, and Bill thought to himself, “Whew! This is it! I’m going to be able to go up to this wreck, find the dead person, and raise him from the dead!” True story! So he gets up closer to the wreck, and he notices as he gets closer that it’s really not a real wreck! It’s one of those mock wrecks—what to do in case of an accident or emergency. So Bill came back to the house that day, and he was like, “Man! I’m so bummed!” He was bummed that it wasn’t a real accident and he didn’t have a chance to raise someone from the dead!

You say, “How’d you get there? How did you get to that place in your life?” Well, if you read the Scripture, Jesus said to His disciples, “Greater works that you will do than I did!” It says, “If you believe in My Name, anything is possible! Ask and you shall receive! Seek and you shall find! Knock and it shall be opened to you! These signs shall follow those people who believe!” We believed, we were praying, and we were hoping that God was going to come through and show up in a big way.

But about then, something bizarre happened, something strange. For some reason, I began to wade into the pool of doubt and skepticism. It was like when you go swimming, and you get in at the shallow end. I was at first in the shallow end of doubt, and I was praying and wondering, “God, why aren’t You answering my prayer?” Then from there, I went more into the 5 ft. level, the chest level of doubt, and I thought, “Maybe this prayer thing doesn’t work!” Then I went deeper into the deep end of the pool where my nose was barely out the water, and I had to paddle a little bit, and I was asking the question, “Well, not only does prayer not work; maybe God doesn’t work!”

Finally, I got to a point in my doubt where I was totally submerged. I said, “Maybe there isn’t a God. Maybe this is not God’s beautiful world. Maybe this is some random accident. Maybe we’re not God’s special people. Maybe we are just a glob of molecules that got together that one day walked out of some primordial soup that was struck by lightning. Maybe we’re not made in God’s image. Maybe we’re simply lucky mud. Maybe Oprah’s right. Maybe there are multiple paths to God. What if I’d been born in India, or in Saudi Arabia? I probably wouldn’t be a Christian. Why did Jesus come to Israel, this small little country, this little spec in the middle of the vast Roman Empire? Why didn’t He go to China, or India, more populated places? Why didn’t He go to all those places if Jesus is the Way, the Truth, and the Life? It seems like God would give everybody a fair chance, right, if there is a God? Maybe the Bible is not really God’s Word. There is a lot in the Bible I don’t understand. There are a lot of things in the Bible that seemingly contradict one another. There are a lot of concepts, and supernatural events that have no place to hang my hat on. I don’t understand them, and I’ve never actually seen them in my life.” All of these questions started building, and building, and building over months.

I graduated from college and went into graduate school, and these questions, doubts, and skepticism kept going on, and on, and on. I was drowning in a sea of doubt! I would come up for air, I would believe, but then I would say, “God, help me believe, or help my unbelief!” I always believed, like that song, that there was a hole in the wall, and that was the hole of the light that Christ got through; but I was beginning to believe that maybe we are in this dark room of existence, and there really are no answers, and people really cannot know anything for sure. I was tearing things apart, and deconstructing them, and analyzing them. I was involved in hyper-analyzation.

I called it “analysis paralysis.” It was freezing me out. As I would go through my days my waking hours were intense. I could not sleep at night. I remember teaching a Bible study in Dallas for some teenagers and some students, and afterwards I’d go back in my room and just cry and say, “I don’t know if I really believe this!”

So I was swimming in doubt, and swimming in anxiety for a long, long time for many years. As I look back on it, I realized this one thing: Despite my wavering; despite my internal agnosticism for many years, that God was still with me. This God, who for a long time I had trouble believing in, was actually bigger than my doubts. As I read more of the Scripture, I discovered in Job, Ecclesiastes, and Lamentations, and other passages where God even allows us, or encourages us to ask questions.

Obviously, you are probably wondering, “Well how did you get out of that doubt, and what did you do?” I tried many things to get out of the doubt, and it didn’t work. Obviously I got out of it somewhat, or I wouldn’t be here today. But next week, we’ll talk more about that, and I’m going to tell you some things that God did in my life to bring me out of that.

I know that in talking about questioning, doubts and skepticism, a lot of people do that alone. A lot of people doubt and question God, either inside the church or outside it, and they question God all alone. A lot of times, I think people feel totally shameful and guilt-ridden because they have these nagging questions. I think if God could say anything to us today, I believe He would say, “You know what? It’s okay to ask questions, because I allow you to ask questions!” God is not only the God that asks questions; He is the God who gives us the mind, and places us in a situation or predicament, or an existence which forces us to cry out for questions. Our questions can either lead us away from God, or they can draw us closer to God. The doubt can both build and strengthen our faith, or it can cause us to leave, and to lose our faith.

I want you to do something for me. If you’ll pull your God card out again, and get a pen or pencil. Write out on that card a question that you have for God. Maybe it’s a question that you think is minor. Maybe it’s a question that is major. Maybe it is a doubt that you have, or a fear that you have. I think if I had to write out all my questions for God, I would need every single card in this worship center today, and then some. Write your question out, if you would. I’m going to write a question out myself. Write it down in that blank space there, whatever it is that is on your heart and mind.

I’m going to ask our ushers to come forward right now—just stand up, wherever you are. They have some buckets, and you can just put your questions in those buckets. This is a second offering, but no money involved. Rarely do you find that in any church today. These questions are a form of an offering, or a prayer unto God. Take your card and put it in the bucket; then our ushers are going to come and place them right here on the altar, right here before the Word of God that is open.

God is a God who calls us to bring our questions to Him. My prayer for you today and my prayer for myself as well is that whatever question you wrote down on that card will draw you closer to the God who made you, and the God who knows you! I don’t know where you are in your journey, and maybe you couldn’t even write “God” in the corner, but I want you to know that you’ve come to a place where it’s okay to ask questions. It’s okay to seek.

I want you to know if you are a Christian, it’s all right to have questions. It’s all right to doubt. Some worshipped, and some doubted. May your doubts, may your questions lead you to God, closer to Him today and this week as we look more into it.

If you want to keep your card, you can do that. There’s no pressure there. Maybe it’s not about finding answers; maybe it’s about asking questions. Even Jesus asked, “My God, My God, why have You forsaken Me?” Many of the chapters in the Book of Psalms are just psalms of questions, psalms of David feeling utterly abandoned by God. He cries out, “God, don’t You hear me? Can’t You answer me? Throw me a line, an e-mail, or at least a text-message? Something God? I’m drowning here in my tears. I seek You day and night, but I can’t hear You anymore. My bones are wasting away.” David was known as a man after God’s own heart.

Would you bow your head with me? God, we give You ourselves here today, and God, we give You our questions. Lord, we place these questions today on Your altar. God, we are crying out to You today, and we’re asking Lord that You would help us! Help us, Lord, those of us here who are drowning in a sea of questions and doubt! Lord, I pray that You would throw a line down and give us light! Throw a line down and rescue us and pull us out.

Father, others here are walking with You, and doubt is not their deal. They need other kind of light and direction. God, we thank You, and I thank You for all these questions that are here on these cards. God, You know us, and You know our needs, and You know what Your plan and Your will is for our lives. Lord, You know that Your will cannot be stopped or thwarted in any way, no matter how many questions we have, no matter how many ditches we fall into, no matter how many times we feel paralyzed, and we don’t feel worthy, or we mess up. God, You call us back to You. Sometimes God, we run back. Sometimes, we crawl back. Sometimes God, You just have to pick us up and carry us back. Lord, we thank You that You do that. In Jesus name…Amen.