Description
SEX – THE REAL DEAL
Sexual Counterfeits
Mac Richard
I’m going to give away something about my academic career in this introduction, so just bear with me. I don’t know if you were like I was. When I was growing up and going to school, there were a lot of times that I found myself asking the question, why? Why are we studying this? I am never going to use this again in my life. I have never to this day used the Pythagorean theorem. Rarely comes up in my workweek. Doesn’t make me a better husband. That happened a lot to me academically. But there were times every now and then when we would get into subject matter that really piqued my curiosity. You remember what that was like, when you would get kind of enthralled in a subject, and you would actually find yourself studying because you wanted to know more about it, you were curious about it, your intellectual curiosity had been tweaked a little bit. Well, I hope that you find yourself more in that latter camp than in the former camp that I described as we’ve been engaged in this conversation about the study of sex for the last few weeks. This has been one for me — I’ll just be real honest with you. This has been fun.
For the last few weeks, my job has been to think about, to study, to talk about, to pray over the subject of sex. If you can get that gig, I suggest you take it. It’s been great at home, too, because there have been some times when Julie has said you have a one-track mind. And I’m like honey, it’s sermon preparation. It’s not me. Just for the record, she is not buying that just yet. But it’s my hope that as we’ve been engaged in this conversation, you have been truly liberated, that you’ve been really and truly freed up to discuss this gift as God intended it to be celebrated. It’s my prayer that all of us, no matter where we are, what station in life you find yourself in this weekend, that all of us can do exactly what the Bible talks about in Hebrews chapter 13, verse 4.
Now, if you’ve been here, you probably have that verse at least somewhat memorized. But I want you to go back to your outlines for just a second as we look at this and remember what it is that this study, that this series of messages is really all about. Look at Hebrews 13:4. The Bible says that “Marriage should be honored by all, and the marriage bed kept pure, for God will judge the adulterer and all the sexually immoral.” Now, I want you to focus on that word pure with me for just a second. Say that we with me. Pure. I’m sorry. Pure. Very good. When you say that word, you think of clear rushing mountain streams, unsullied snow-capped mountains. Maybe something else comes to your mind. But I wanted us to get an idea of what is really going on behind that word. That word pure in the original Greek language that the New Testament was transmitted in means authentic. It means genuine, uncompromised. So when the Bible says that marriage should be honored by all and the marriage bed kept pure, it means that sex as God intended it is to be guarded, to be kept authentic, to be real deal sex, that if there’s a variation on that equation and on that command from God, then what’s really going on is not sex as God intended it to be. I think the best way to communicate authentic sex is with a mathematical equation. Huh? Yeah. Watch this.
Authentic sexual math is this. I want you to write this equation down. One plus one equals one. Authentic sexual math is one plus one equals one. One man, one woman, one life. That is real deal sex. That’s why God talks about it repeatedly throughout the Bible. All the way back to the beginning in Genesis chapter 2, verse 24. It says, “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh,” Genesis 2:24. It’s so important that God echoes it again in the New Testament in Ephesians chapter 5. Also those verses that I listed there for you are specific scriptural excerpts where God affirms this authentic sexual math of one man, one woman, one life by specifically prohibiting variations on that theme. And that’s where we find ourselves tonight. Because the fact of the matter is that whenever God gives us an authentic, God-honoring gift, Satan is right there behind him with a counterfeit. With a counterfeit to what God intended us to enjoy and to celebrate.
Now, let me ask you a question. Why in the world would God place such a premium on sexual purity? Why would he place such a premium on our maintaining and guarding sex in that authentic form that he describes there in Genesis chapter 2? Why would he go to the lengths of talking about it over and over and over and over again throughout the Bible? When you find God discussing and affirming the gift of sex, the only one that he specifically endorses is one man, one woman, one life. Why is that? Well, I’m glad you asked. The answer is this. That sex is first of all theological before it is physical or emotional. Sex is primarily a statement of our theology. What I do with the gift of sex in my life, what you do with the gift of sex in your life is first and foremost a statement about what you believe to be true about God. Because in this authentic sexual equation, God’s character is represented as a man and his wife come together sexually and physically and emotionally and spiritually within the context of covenant marriage. His nature, his character is being represented in that union. That’s why in 1 Corinthians chapter 6, the Bible says, “Do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit who is in you, whom you have received from God?” He says, “You are not your own. You were bought at a price. Therefore honor God with your body.”
I don’t know where you were last Friday morning, but I know exactly where I was. Friday’s typically my day off. And I woke up a little bit earlier than anybody else in our family. I got up and was kind of wiping the groggy out of my eyes, had a cup of coffee and, was just watching the news, and I noticed the crawl at the bottom of one of the news channels was saying something about sexual allegations being levied against a prominent Christian leader in another city. And I remember thinking, recognizing the name, I don’t know him, but I recognized the name, and I just thought, I just began hoping and praying that these accusations that were being lobbed in were just instead fabrications of somebody who maybe had an ulterior motive or an alternative agenda of some sort, and they were trying to bring somebody down. And it broke my heart, because who in the world is ever encouraged or helped when a family or a marriage is jeopardized? Even if it’s just innuendo and even if it’s an accusation? And so I began really praying, just hoping against hope that this was not true. But as the day unfolded and then the weekend began to unwind, it became clear that at the very least, this leader, who had fought for years to control sexual sin in his life, had in some way, shape, or form lost that battle, at least for the time being. Now, none of us knows the details of his story. None of us knows the extent to which the allegations are true or false. But what this story does remind us, every single one, is this. None of us is immune. There is not one single person walking on the face of the earth who is immune to the temptation of counterfeiting the gift of sex. It’s a part of the human condition.
Remember, we’ve said all along that sex is a soul issue. It is a part of who you are as a creation of God. And the fact is that my soul, like your soul and every other soul on the planet, is corrupted by sin. Now, I don’t like that fact. If you were going to list the things that I love to preach about, that would not be in the top five. It’s not a fun, happy thought. But it’s a fact. My soul, your soul, we are all damaged and corrupted by sin. And as the result of that, every single one of us is guilty of counterfeiting the gift of sex. We’ve all done it.
If you think about it, if anyone has ever lusted, you’ve counterfeited the gift of sex. If you have ever withheld sex to make a point or to prove somebody wrong, you have counterfeited sex. If you’ve ever taken sex outside the bonds of marriage, we’ve counterfeited sex. Every single one of us. And so I think it’s important as we talk about sex to just for a second take a time-out and look at why counterfeit sex is so significant in God’s economy. Why is it that God addresses it so directly? And I want to talk about a couple of counterfeits that I think have so pervasively dominated our culture that I don’t it’s really even an argument.
The first of these is homosexuality. When you talk about homosexuality, you’re talking about one of the hottest of the hot-button issues in our world today. It is a tough, tough subject. And I don’t know how anyone who goes by the name of Christian who wants to discuss the issue of homosexuality or needs to discuss it could begin that conversation any other way than with an apology. Because the fact of the matter is that Christians by and large for centuries have so grossly mishandled this subject. We have stepped so far away from the heart and the intent of God that we have to first off just say you know what? I’m sorry. I’m sorry for a judgmental attitude. I’m sorry for a condemning spirit that all too often has been the voice and the face of this conversation. Because the fact of the matter is God is love. God is love.
Now, when you love someone, you tell them the truth. You speak reality. Even when it’s difficult, even when it’s not what someone wants to hear, if you love someone, you tell them the truth. And so I want you to know right off the bat that my prayer tonight has been one for wisdom, one for compassion, and one for honesty out of love. The fact of the matter is this is not the easiest subject in the world to bring up anywhere. But we have to deal with it. We have to be equipped for every good work, the Bible says. We have to be able to discuss it. So first of all, an apology is in order. Second of all, I think it’s important to remember that a homosexual person is not the sum total of their homosexual drives and desires. There is a lot more to a person than just their sexual drive. I am a heterosexual white male in America. That’s not all I am. Now, it’s a part of who I am. It’s a significant part of who I am. But it is not all that is there.
So, when we discuss this subject, when we talk to people, when we listen to people, we need to remember that it’s too easy, it’s a cop-out to just say homosexual. That’s a homosexual, as if that’s all they ever do. They have lives. They care about people. They pay taxes. And they were created by God himself, and Jesus died for them. So understand that. Also, we need to make a critical distinction between homosexual desire and homosexual behavior, because they are not the same thing. They’re not. Homosexual desire many times is one of the most confusing, complicated things in a person’s life to understand where it comes from. Some will say it’s genetic, some will say it is learned behavior. It’s nature/nurture, and to the nth degree. And where the desire is concerned, we don’t have a firm answer. It’s too much of a cop-out to say homosexuality is a choice.
Let me tell you something. I know people, I love and like people who would give anything to not have homosexual desires, and they do. It is not always exclusively a choice. Now, by the same token, homosexual behavior is absolutely a choice. It is a decision that gets made. The desire is one thing. The choice and the behavior is entirely another. And it is too simple-minded to just say it’s all a choice. Having said that, we also need to deal with the fact that homosexual behavior is counterfeit sex. It is a sin. That is not a gray area Biblically. There is not one time from Genesis through Revelation that homosexual sex is endorsed by God. Not once. And so it’s important for us to understand that in the same way it’s a cop-out to say homosexuality is a choice, it’s an equal cop-out to say well, I have this desire, so God made me this way. Wrong. Just because you have the desire does not mean that you have to act on that desire. We all have a lot of desires that we’re not supposed to act on.
The Bible tells us that the human heart above all else is deceitful. We can kid our own selves more than we can kid anyone else. And so we need to make those critical distinctions. Homosexual sex is a sin. Homosexual people are people created by God and died for by Jesus Christ, every single time. And it’s important that we understand that. It’s imperative that we approach this subject prayed up in the image of God himself. Remember Jesus? He came beholding the glory of the one and only, the father, full of grace and truth. I’m working on that balance. I don’t have that completely figured out. But I’m praying toward it and working on it, as I know you are. The grace crowd would say hey, don’t worry about it. If you have the desire, God loves you. It’s okay. The truth crowd would say you’re going to hell. God doesn’t love you. And they paint hateful placards and march around congressional buildings with them. It’s hard for me to envision Jesus doing either of those. I think about Jesus with the woman caught in the act of adultery, and I think that’s the goal, that’s what I’m looking for, that’s what I’m trying to see realized in my life. This woman thrown at his feet, the Pharisees, the lovers of the law, the truth crowd who had elevated laws above love, and they said should we stone her, or do you want to forgive her, mister grace boy? And Jesus said you know what? The law says it’s a sin and she should be stoned.
But let’s have some order to the stoning, okay? The one of you who has no sin, you get to throw the first rock. It’s one of my favorite moments in the life of Jesus. I’ve had people holding rocks looking in at my life. I know what that feels like. Not about this issue, but others. I’ve counterfeited sex. I’ve got sin in my life. And Jesus looked at that woman when her last accuser had left the scene, and he said, I don’t condemn you. The grace. And then he said, “go and sin no more”. That’s the truth. You don’t have to act on this drive that you’ve had to sleep with multiple men. There’s a better way. There’s an authentic, pure way. You see, it wasn’t just about the sex for her. It’s not just about the sex for a homosexual. It’s not just about the sex for the person who has an affair. Those things are symptomatic of theological and spiritual issues that are at work.
There’s a second issue that is incredibly prevalent in our world that counterfeits the gift of sex, and it’s pornography. I mean, it is rampant. And I really think most of us, not all, but most of us are unaware of just how prevalent it really is. I mean, even the word pornography, we don’t like to use it, because that makes us sound like we’re narrow-minded. Think about it. If you say the word pornography, you are automatically a repressed, narrow-minded member of the religious right. Well, guess what? I’m not. Pornography, pornography, pornography. See? You can say it, and it’s okay. Understand what the word means. Porneo in the Greek means sexual immorality. Graph means picture. A picture of sexual immorality. Anything that creates sexual immorality, anything that counterfeits the gift of real deal sex, that is pornography. Pornography is in the eye of the beholder.
I want to just run some numbers at you real quick just to kind of give you an idea of what we’re talking about. The revenues of the porn industry are 12 billion dollars a year. That’s bigger than the NFL, NBA, and Major League Baseball combined. Now, you think about how much football is on TV today, how many people are skipping church tonight because of football on TV. And we love them, too. 50 percent of hotel in-room movie rentals are porn. 38 percent of adults believe there’s nothing wrong with pornography use. 42 percent of surveyed adults indicated that their partner’s use of pornography made them feel insecure. 41 percent admitted they felt less attractive due to their partner’s pornography use. 47 percent of families said pornography is a problem in their home. Now watch this. From the American Academy of Matrimonial Lawyers in 2003, the Internet was a significant factor in two out of three divorces. Whoa. Now, again, it’s too easy to sit here and rip and rail on our culture. Big, bad, boogeyman culture. Culture’s just doing what culture has always done. It is fueling and then feeding on our fears. That’s what that is. And pornography is fear-based sexual counterfeiting.
Now, I want you to go back and remember last week’s message and the lesson about sexual fulfillment and excitement in marriage. Remember what Song of Solomon talked about? Some of you walked out of here flushed. I remember seeing you at the door. Now, compare that picture that is painted Biblically in the Song of Songs and elsewhere to what we’re talking about here. It is a sad, sad counterfeit substitute. But you see, pornography is so insidious because precisely it is so easy. Pornography requires nothing of you. Sex, real deal sex between husband and wife, this requires that we actually pay attention to each other. It requires that we’re considerate and thoughtful and all kinds of inconvenient things like that. Pornography just requires that you have eyeballs, just requires that you have a sex drive, just requires that maybe you have a computer that nobody’s watching. It’s too easy. It is the coward’s way towards sexual excitement. Not fulfillment. Excitement. And again, real deal sex, God’s version of sex always satisfies. It’s always fulfilling. Pornography always requires a little bit more the next time, always requires a little more excitement and titillation. It does not work.
I hope that you understand the heart behind this message this weekend, because these things are literally counterfeiting what God’s given to us. It’s important that we understand the why behind the what. It’s a well-known fact, common knowledge, that Secret Service agents who are charged with controlling counterfeiting rarely, if ever, look at counterfeit bills. There’s really no way that they could train their eyes to see every single variation that is possible in counterfeiting authentic money. They spend their time studying, remembering, examining the real thing. They look at real bills to see how they are so that when they see the counterfeit, when they see the fake, they know it intuitively, they know it instantly. That’s what this entire series is all about. It’s authenticity.
Now, this conversation begs a larger question. What do you do? What do you do if counterfeit sex in any expression, in any currency or denomination, is bogging you down? I want to encourage you to use that reality as an opportunity to pursue the authentic, to look beyond the sexual manifestation to the theological, to the spiritual and genuine relationship with God. In a room this size with this many people, someone, at least someone is wrestling with sexual counterfeiting. The truth is it doesn’t have to be that way. I want you to look on the bottom of your outlines down there. There’s a name and a phone number that I put on the outline so that no one would have to write it down. Alex Alexander is our pastor of church life. And Alex is called and trained to help triage issues exactly like what we’re talking about tonight. If it’s weighing you down, call him, please. He doesn’t have all of the answers. There is no magic bullet. But he can help you begin the process of healing.