Description
Multiple Choice: Part 4 – A-Maze-Ing: Transcript & Outline
MULTIPLE CHOICE
A▪Maze▪Ing
Ed Young
February 1, 2004
[On stage is a large dry erase board. Ed, during the message, is going to draw two funnels that will work into the message. He is also going to write down the individual decision making styles as he talks about each one. When Ed begins to speak, many people are still making their way into the worship center.]
Wow! People are still coming in. You guys, welcome to Fellowship Church up there in the balcony. They’re still coming in. Alright! I like that. Sometimes we’re late, too. It’s part of it. I understand…traffic and all that. It’s kind of funny to watch people come in late to church, isn’t it?
Oh, boy! Last weekend I made the decision to show a video edition of the message. Were you here for that? Isn’t it great that we have the technology to do that. Some of you are asking, “What’s he talking about?” Well, you weren’t here. Busted! Last time, I did a message on Saturday, and I really liked it a lot so I thought, “You know what? We’ll just show it on the Sunday service.” And so we did. We have these cool screens around the worship center, several of them I think. One of the big ones dropped down, and I just sat in the balcony right up there and watched the message with everyone. It was really kind of weird doing that. It was fun.
Let me kind of set the stage for you before I get into what we’re talking about today. We’re going to talk about something in kind of a unique way. I’m going to do some teaching, and I want to get to where we’re going next week right now, but I can’t because we have got to cover this material. I think this material we’re going to talk about today is awesome, but next time…let me kind of give you an advertisement of where we’re going next time. Next time, we’re talking about seeking wise counsel. We’re in this series about decisions, and today’s comments will set us up for next weekend when we conclude this series called “Multiple Choice.”
And speaking about Multiple Choice and all of that, a while back, Lisa and I were in this restaurant with our family, and this restaurant was very kid friendly. I mean they knew how to take care of children! And they gave our kids these special placemats. And I looked at the placemats and they were these giant mazes. I watched as our kids took those red Crayola crayons and negotiated these mazes. And this maze had a start, and then at the end it said, “You’re home!” After about four or five minutes all the kids said, “Dad, we’re home! We made it!” We were like, “Yeah! That’s incredible. You negotiated the maze. Good job!”
I thought to myself, “Wouldn’t it be cool if decision making was that easy. We could just, you know, have a little maze and a red Crayola crayon and make a right turn—Oh, wrong turn! I’ll kind of go left and then…okay, we’re home. Yeah! Wouldn’t it be great if we could make decisions that easily? But life is not that easy.
Life is full of mazes. Maybe you’re negotiating a marital maze right now. Maybe you’re in the dating scene and you’re trying to negotiate that maze. Maybe you’re trying to negotiate an occupational maze or a financial maze. We’re always walking and moving and looking and making choices in the mazes of life. We are the sum total of the decisions that we make and God wants all of us, we’ve been saying throughout this series, to become great decision makers. Because our decisions determine our destiny. Who we are, the kind of people that God has wired us up to be, has a major league impact on the kind of decisions that we will make in these mazes of life. And that’s what I want to touch on today.
Who are you as a decision maker? Because as we begin to develop this design that we all uniquely have, I think we’ll see how heavily it influences the choices that we make. And as I talk about your design and my design you might kind of say, “Ah ha! I get it now. I had no idea how much my personality influences and impacts the decisions and choices that I make in the maze of life.”
So, let’s kind of talk about that for a second. And while you’re thinking about the kind of decision maker that you are, I want to draw a couple of things on this dry erase board. This right here is a funnel. Just put this funnel in the frontal lobe for a second. That’s a pretty big funnel. Alright. Now let’s draw a smaller funnel. (I’m a frustrated artist.) So we have the big funnel and the small funnel. Am I going too fast? I’m going to come back to those funnels and talk about them more and more as we discuss this designer decision-making situation.
What kind of decision maker are you? As we talk about this, think about you. Don’t think about your spouse. Don’t say, “Well, my spouse…. Listen wife, listen husband, you need to watch this. That is you, right there. That’s the way you make decisions.” Don’t do that. Or don’t say, “Hey, my boss needs this. I’m going to buy this CD and put it in his CD player. He needs to understand why he makes these wheels off decisions. He is this. He is that. No wonder he’s all messed up.” Don’t do that. Just think about you. Think about how you are uniquely wired up. Think about your decision-making style. Because we all have certain styles, and the styles are good.
The Bible mentions these styles, and let’s talk about some of the styles the Bible mentions as far as making decisions. The first style, and when I write this style down, a lot of you are going to laugh. You’ll go, “Oh, that’s me. That’s me.”
THE OVER-THINKER
The first style is this the style known as the over-thinker. Do you make decisions like that? Do you walk into the maze of life and just think too much. Do you find yourself kind of paralyzed in the maze? You just think and think and think. “Well, you know I’m not really sure what I should do. I‘ll just think about it, and I better really, really think about it because I want to make the right decision here, you know. I’ve been dating her for like five years, and yes, she’s a Christian. Yes, I’m attracted to her, and yes, she has all the qualities and qualifications I want from a wife, but I’m…I’m just not sure. I don’t know. You know, I don’t want to mess up. If I commit to her, what if someone else comes along, you know? If someone else comes along….” Stop thinking and marry the girl! You’re over-thinking.
“Well, you know, I’ve got to make the right career choice. And yes, you know, I’m wired up uniquely and this job is a perfect fit, but I don’t know the answer to every single question. What, should I do? Really, what should I do? Well…well…I don’t know what I should do.” Take the job!
The over-thinker. This guy, this girl, they think too much. They turn stuff over and over and over on those rotisserie grills of their minds. They just run through this scenario and that scenario. Many times I fall into this category. Over-thinkers. Get some balance. Get some balance.
Who would be an over-thinker in Scripture? Well, you probably know the answer—Moses. Remember, Moses? The reluctant leader, the over-thinker. He was in Midian when God said, “Moses, I want you to go to Pharaoh and to tell Pharaoh to let my people go.”
What did Moses say? “Oh, God, you’ve got the wrong person. You know, I c-c-c-can’t. I st-st-st-stutter. You know I c-c-can’t do it. What if they will not accept me? What if I’m not the kind of person I should be? And boy, my brother, Aaron, he’s the man! He’s like a game show host. He can talk like this, and he’s really smooth and suave. Let him go. I mean he’s…not me!”
Over-thinker. He was turning all of those scenarios over and over on the rotisserie grill of his mind. Hey, over-thinkers, God doesn’t want you to live that way. God wants you to step out and do some great stuff. And the stuff has to do with these funnels we’ll talk about later.
THE UNDER-THINKER
An under-thinker is another type represented here. The under-thinker is the impulsive person. They say, “I’d rather make a bad decision than none at all. I’m going to make a decision. Just give me an opportunity. Boom, I’ll make a decision. I don’t care if it’s bad or wrong. I’m just going to make a decision. I’m just that kind of guy. Yep, that’s me, the under-thinker.” An under-thinker is impulsive. Wow!
Who was impulsive in the Bible? Specifically, if you think about Christ’s twelve disciples, you have to choose one who was impulsive. Well, you know. Peter. Simon Peter. What an under-thinker! He said, “Jesus, I’ll never mess you around. I’ll never deny you.” And Jesus said, “Yes you will. The next thing you know, in a few hours, you’re going to totally diss me.” Simon Peter saw Jesus walking on the water and he jumped out of the boat saying, “I’ll walk on the water, too.” He was an under-thinker. Next thing he knew, “Help me I’m drowning!” Jesus rescued him. In the garden, when they came to arrest Jesus, what did this under-thinker Simon Peter do? Whoa, ho, ho [whistle]. He started Kung Fu fighting. He was trying to fight the best trained soldiers in the world. This under-thinker was trying to fight the Roman soldiers. He chopped one of their ears off, and Christ popped it back on. The guy was…Simon Peter, the under-thinker.
Do you remember the Mount of Transfiguration? He had the absurd idea, “Hey, let’s build worship centers here, and let’s just live here happily ever after in this state.” He’s an under-thinker. Under-thinkers just make rash decisions.
Last night I found myself in Tom Thumb at about 11pm. I had to get some drugs and stuff because our kids have the flu, and they’ve had it for the last week. I haven’t, but they have. You know, it’s weird to see the people in Tom Thumb at about 11pm. It’s unique. On Saturday, it’s an interesting, interesting group of people.
I was standing at the pharmacy looking around, and I noticed all the checkout areas and all of the knick knacks and stuff they have right before you check out. You know, all the National Enquirers, all of the little gum, and all that little stuff. I thought to myself, “Why do they have all that junk right there, you know, right before you check out?” And then I thought, “I know why. It’s for the under-thinkers. Just impulsive people. They say, ‘I’ll buy that. I’m going to eat that. I’ll take that. I’ll try that.’” Wow! Yeah, that’s what it’s for. If you’re an under-thinker, that’s cool. You can change by the grace of God. And we’ll talk about how you can change in a second.
THE NON-CONFRONTATIONALIST
Here’s another thinker represented here. This is going to be a tough one for me to spell, too. The non-confrontationalist. The non—well, can he spell it under pressure?—con-fron-ta-tion-al-ist. Is that it? Under pressure! He scores! I spelled it right!
Non-confrontationalist. That’s another type of thinker or decision maker. They say, “You know, I don’t want to rock the boat. I don’t want to upset the apple cart. I don’t want to step on anybody’s toes so I’ll just, you know, live in my shell. I’ll just kind of freeze frame myself in the maze. I’m just going to stay quiet even though, yeah, I should say this or say that or stand here. I’m not going to do it because, you know, I’m a non-confrontationalist.”
When you think about a non-confrontationalist decision maker or thinker, I think about Eli, Old Testament Eli. Eli, the priest in the temple. Eli, the guy who was totally clueless about his kids’ conduct. Eli’s two sons, Hophni and Phinehas (they make the All-Name Team, don’t they?) were preacher’s kids on steroids. These people were out of control. They were having sex with the girls who worked in the temple. They were abusing the sacrificial system. Eli knew about it, yet he didn’t do a thing about it. He didn’t want to hurt them, didn’t want to step on their toes. Didn’t want to upset the deal. So, he just let them carry on and on and on. And because he never confronted them, his life was a tragedy of what might have been. Eli should have, could have, and would have. But you know, he messed up in the maze because he was a non-confrontationalist.
THE PLEASURE-SEEKER
There’s another one represented here–the pleasure-seeker. Surely, we don’t have any pleasure-seekers here. People who say, “Well, when I make a decision, I want it to be just fun.”
Let’s write “Pleasure” up here on the board. The pleasure-seeker. “Yes, if it’s fun, I’ll do it. I’m in the maze of life and if it’s enjoyable, I’m going to do it. If it’s not, I’m not going to do it. So if it’s fun, I’m going to follow it. Because, you know, after all,” pleasure-seekers say, “God just wants me to be happy.” Where is that in the Bible? God wants me to be happy?! I hear people say that sometimes. Well, God doesn’t want us to be happy. He wants us to be obedient. He wants us to trust him. When we obey what he says and when we’re obedient and when we decide the way he wants us to decide, the feelings will follow.
We’re going to have times of happiness and joy and all that. But to seek this thing called happiness? Happiness is based on happenings. The word “happy” comes from the Latin word “chance.” Happy? No, no. God wants us to be obedient.
When I think about pleasure seeking decision makers, my mind rushes to Samson, the Biblical body builder. God said, “Samson, don’t mess around with the Philistines. They’re ungodly. Don’t associate with them and especially, Samson, don’t date the Philistine fillies. Don’t do it, Samson.”
What did Samson do? He did the opposite of what God said. Samson said, “I know what I’ll do, God. I’ll do what I want to do. I’ll do the fun stuff. Yeah, the stuff that gives me pleasure. Let’s par-tay!”
Judges Chapter 14:2 really capsulizes his life, because here’s what Samson told his parents. He told his parents this. “I have seen a Philistine woman … now get her for me as my wife.” And if you keep reading, Samson says, “She looks good to me.” In other words, she’s hot. She’s a babe. And because of that, because he was the he-man with the she-weakness, because he was into this pleasuristic stuff, his life was a tragedy of what might have been, just like Eli.
Finally, though, at the end of his life, he made the right call and secured a victory. But he wasted and burned up years and years and years just because he thought about his pleasure first instead of pleasing God.
THE DOGMATIC
Well, there’s another one. The dogmatic. The dogmatic person just yells out, “I’m right! I know the deal! I know everything! Don’t cloud my mind with the facts. Once I’ve made my mind up, that’s it!” The dogmatic person enters the maze and just knocks down wall after wall after wall. Hurts people, looks back and doesn’t mind all the collateral damage that he or she has done by stepping on people and abusing people to get to where they want to go.
I think about a friend of mine in Houston that I’ve known for a long, long time. He has this huge ranch outside of San Antonio. On this ranch, believe it or not, he has a rhino—a big ol’ male rhino. And we used to take Jeeps out there to check this rhino out. It was kind of a weird feeling because the rhino was bigger than the Jeep. He would look at the Jeep and just stare at you. And you’re thinking, “If this thing wanted to crush the Jeep, he could.”
Well, my friend told me one day that he had decided to buy a companion for this male rhino. So he bought a big female rhino. And he told me his male rhino had not seen a female since he had left his mom, so he didn’t know what to expect. So a big 18-wheeler pulled into the pasture, stopped, and the ramp was put down. Then the female rhino just walked down the ramp. My friend told me when the male saw the female he became so frightened that he turned, ran through ten fences and knocked over a windmill to try to get away from her.
Well, the dogmatic person is kind of like the rhino. He or she just enters the maze and knocks down ten fences and a windmill and doesn’t even really realize it or understand it. They’re just dogmatic.
Who is dogmatic in the Bible? How about the Apostle Paul before he became a Christ follower? Remember Paul? Man, before this guy knew Jesus, his name was Saul and he was killing Christians. He was an accomplice to a murder. He thought his way was the only way, and he abused all these folks. And then one day he met Jesus face to face, and he was tenderized by the work of the Holy Spirit. God totally changed his life.
THE PROCRASTINATOR
Here’s another one, and you’ll love this last one we talk about. The procrastinator. “Well, Ed, you know I’m not, you know I’m not sure I’m a procrastinator. Maybe I’ll decide in a couple of weeks whether or not I am.”
Procrastinators wait ‘til the last minute, you know. They put things off. Sometimes they do that because of fear. Other times they do it because of laziness. They just put things off. “Well, tomorrow I’ll work on my marriage. You know, tomorrow I’ll get right with God. Tomorrow I’ll get involved at Fellowship Church. Tomorrow I’ll join the church. Tomorrow I’ll begin to handle my finances in a Godly way. Tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow, tomorrow.”
In Acts Chapter 24, there was a guy named Felix. Felix was a Roman governor. He was married to this beautiful Jewish girl named Priscilla. The Apostle Paul was in their prison. Felix knew that Paul was all about truth, so he brought Paul in to talk to him and his wife about the Christian faith. Preston Mitchell and I, years ago, stood in the exact spot in Israel where this whole thing took place. It was amazing. And Paul talked to Felix and Priscilla about Jesus Christ, and the Bible says Felix was convicted. Check out, though, what this procrastinator said in Acts 24:25 (NLT). He said, “Go away for now … When it is more convenient, I’ll call for you again.”
There are some procrastinators here, and you’re procrastinating the most important decision of your life. You know the score. You know the deal. You’ve heard the Gospel which is the good news, the fact that God loves you so much that he sent Jesus Christ to die on the cross for your sins. You don’t deserve it. You can’t earn it. It’s been done for you, and it’s offered to you. Yet, amazingly, procrastinators are saying, “Well… tomorrow. Maybe next week, you know. Maybe when I get this deal in my life cleaned up or straightened out, then I’ll come to Christ.” Don’t put it off. Choose it today.
You know what Joshua told a bunch of procrastinators? He said in Joshua 24:15, “Choose for yourselves this day whom you will serve….” He was telling them, “If you choose God, choose him now. If you choose His ways, choose His ways now. If not, choose something else. But choose today.”
Maybe you’re thinking, “Well, Ed, hey man, this is pretty unbelievable here. I can kind of see myself or maybe some friends or my spouse, and I can see where they’re in this deal and you’ve talked about the over-thinker. You’ve talked about the under-thinker. You’ve talked about the non-confrontationalist. You’ve talked about the pleasure-seeker. You’ve talked about the procrastinator then the dogmatic person and all this other stuff. Well, how about change? I mean how can I change? How can I become a better decision maker?”
How? Well, I’m glad you’re asking those questions. Now let’s talk about the funnel. Because change is all about the funnel. God will use a little bit of these qualities in our lives to help us pour ourselves into this big funnel so we can use our uniqueness and leverage it to become great decision makers.
THE MACRO FUNNEL
Let’s call this the macro funnel. [Ed is referring to the large funnel he has drawn on the dry erase board. Ed is going to write all of the decision making types inside of the macro funnel.] For example, let’s say you are a pleasuristic-type person. Put yourself in the macro funnel. Let’s say you’re a dogmatic person…. Whatever you are, put yourself in the funnel. But, let’s talk about the pleasuristic person. The pleasuristic person should ask himself or herself the three macro questions that Jesus asked himself every time he did something.
What did Christ say? He talked about the Word. He talked about love. And he talked about the will. Jesus asked, “Is it in my Father’s Word? Is it love? Is it on my Father’s agenda?”
Okay, the pleasuristic person says, “Well this decision, man…. The real fun thing for me to do is whatever, whatever, whatever.” Well, that’s fine and dandy. I understand you’re going have that bent, but what does the Word say about it?
“Yeah, you know, she is fun. I can tell, if I dated her, man, she would be fun.” Well that’s fine. I’m glad she’s fun, but if the girl is not a believer, don’t do it. You don’t have to pray about that. Just don’t date her.
Well, how about love? “I’m a pleasuristic person and you know, this thing over here is going to be a lot of fun.” Well, stop for a second. Does this decision you’re about to make reflect the law of love? Are you loving others more than yourself? Are you putting others as a more important priority than yourself?
How about God’s will? Is it in God’s will? Is it on God’s agenda for me to do this? I mean, I understand I’m kind of bent towards having a good time and a party and all that, but what does God’s word say about it?
So, pleasurisitc people, ask yourself those three questions. Dogmatic, ask yourself those three questions. Under-thinkers, ask yourself those three questions. But it doesn’t stop.
THE MICRO FUNNEL
We talk about the micro. You remember the micro questions? So we go through the macro and then we keep going into the micro funnel, a more specific funnel. [Ed draws a smaller funnel underneath the macro funnel into which all of the decisions will filter]
What are the micro questions? Past, present, and future. Against the back drop of my past, considering my present, and thinking about the future, what is the most insightful thing for me to do?
Hey, Mr. or Ms. Pleasuristic Person, considering the past (The last time I went there I did blank with blank), what’s the most insightful thing for you to do? Thinking about your present day circumstances Mr. or Ms. Pleasuristic Person, what’s the best thing to do? Thinking about your future as a husband, a wife, a boss, a teacher, or a coach, what is the best thing, the most insightful thing for you to do?
And then—here’s the cool thing about this funnel—as you come out of this, you have all this red stuff. [Ed is referring to a red blank he has drawn next to each decision making style.] Okay, what’s the red stuff? Well, here is where the plot clots. I love this stuff.
If you’re an over-thinker, the red stuff is “Trust.” Over-thinkers need to trust. Say, “God, I don’t have every question answered. I don’t know everywhere I should go, but I’m going to trust you because you have this record [the Bible]. You have all this stuff written down. I’m going to step out on faith, and I’m just going to trust you.” Trust is the big word for you.
Under-thinkers, after you come through this macro and micro thing, you’re big word should be “Wait.” Press the pause button. Just wait. Don’t make those quick, impulsive decisions all the time. Include someone else in the decision making loop. Wait and listen to God.
Non-confrontationalist, here’s your key word, the red stuff. It is “Stand.” Stand, speak the truth in love to that person. Speak the truth in love to your kids. Stand. Draw a line in the sand. Say, “Here it is. I’m going to be a stand up guy, a stand up girl.”
Pleasuristic person, do you know what the word is? It’s “Obey.” We used to sing, “Trust and obey because there’s no other way.” That’s the way to do it. Just obey. God’s ways are the best ways for your life and mine. They are. God has the best, the most excellent stuff in store for your life and mine.
The dogmatic person—here’s the big word, the red stuff, “Forgive.” God will give you the ability to look back at the people you’ve messed around, to look back at all the carnage and say, “I was wrong. Will you forgive me?” Read about the Apostle Paul and the life change that occurred in his life once he met Christ. He wrote a verse like Ephesians 4:32 (NLT), “Be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”
And the procrastinator? You know what that is—“Decide.” Decide. Make the decision now to do what God wants you to do.
That is all of the red stuff that happens after we go micro and macro. After we understand who we are, this will help us negotiate the maze of life. So, now that we’ve gone through this funnel, now we’re in the perfect position for next weekend’s subject matter. Let me just give you a brief synopsis of what I’m talking about next weekend. Now we’re ready for wise counsel. Now we’re ready for it. We see how uniquely we’re wired, and now we’re ready to listen to wise counsel.
Most of us listen to the wrong people, and because we ask them the wrong questions, we make the wrong decisions. It’s unbelievable. And a lot of people don’t ask anybody for any advice. Especially, the guys. We say, “No, I’m going to do what I want to do.” Man, that’s me. “I’m not going to ask anybody for advice. I know. I can just feel it, you know?”
No, you can’t. Life is too complex, too difficult. We need wise counsel and the Bible says there is a genius in the multiplicity of counselors. And here is what totally blows me away about people’s decision making. I’ve seen people make decisions for years and years and years in almost every realm of life. I’ve seen them make great decisions and dumb, “what was I thinking?” decisions. But people who make the dumb, “what was I thinking?” decisions ask the wrong people for advice.
It’s amazing. Someone’s getting ready to bail out of a marriage they shouldn’t bail out of and who do they talk to? Someone who just bailed out of marriage and also made a dumb, “what was I thinking?” decision. I call them sinful sympathizers. Why do we do it? It’s nuts. It’s wheels off. We shouldn’t do it. We should talk to people who will speak the truth to us in love, who have our best interest in mind. Where do I find those people? What kind of qualifications should they have? Well, that is what we’re going to talk about next time.
But again, we’ve got to see where we are today to understand how to listen and to obey wise counsel. How are you doing in the maze of life? I wish I could tell you it was as easy as taking a red Crayola crayon and going from the beginning to the home base, but it’s not. We need to see how unique we are and that we can take our uniqueness and put it through these funnels and come out being the kind of difference makers and decision makers that God wants. Because, after all, our decisions determine our destiny. What kind of decisions are you making?