Description
Influence
Behind the Wall
February 28, 2010
Ed Young
Hey, I’ve got some great news for you today. You’ll want to remain standing, because you’ll want to clap for this: almost everyone hearing my voice right now will receive a promotion over the next 5 to 7 years. That’s right. Research would reveal that most of us here would be elevated to another level. So that’s good news. Please be seated.
So, we are getting a promotion. Wow. That’s cool. Well, what happens when you get a promotion? What happens when you finally secure that position? What happens when you are elevated? Well, I’ll tell you what happens. Leadership happens.
I’ve been in a series of talks on leadership. And a lot of people do the push-back whenever I talk about leadership, because some feel that they’re not leaders. That’s crazy. All of us, all of us; I said all of us are leaders. Leadership is influence; influence is leadership.
I truly believe when we clock out of here and get to heaven, we’re going to be shocked and rocked at how many people looked at us and how many people checked us out; how many people that we influenced. All of us are leaders. Some lead dozens, others lead hundreds. Some lead thousands, tens of thousands. Some lead hundred of thousands, some lead nations. It’s all about leadership.
One of the main things in leadership that we have to think about is this thing we know as integrity. It’s a big word these days. People are talking about integrity. What’s integrity? Integrity. “She needs integrity. He needs integrity. He’s a man of integrity, she’s a woman of integrity.” Integrity. Because your integrity will be attacked. Your integrity will be tested. Your integrity will be looked at and examined when you’re elevated.
What does it mean when I say the word integrity? Integrity is a wholeness, it’s a completeness. Integrity is basically having your walk and talk coalesce. Integrity is saying, “Ok, I’m going to do this,” and you actually do what you say. That’s integrity. It comes from the word “Integer,” a whole number. Too many of us give away fractions instead of a wholeness in our lives.
T.S. So the thing that will make you last as a leader is integrity. And integrity is littered throughout the pages of Scripture. We’ve been talking about a guy who is all up in integrity’s face. His name, Nehemiah.
Nehemiah basically grew up in exile. He grew up in a place which we would call modern day Iraq. He was the cup-bearer to the king. He had an incredible position, made a lot of money. He was very wealthy. He had a cush job. No problem. He could have put it on auto-pilot and ridden the wake of the Persian government for the rest of his life. But he didn’t.
You know what Nehemiah did? Nehemiah realized that he had been placed in the position for a powerful purpose. He knew that God was leading him to go to Jerusalem and rebuild the city walls. Because the city walls were in shambles. They were tattered, they were shattered, as the old Rolling Stones’ song talked about.
Some of you who are over 50 got that. You ever heard that song by the Stones? “Doesn’t matter, I’ve been shattered.” Remember that? That’s Mick Jagger. Some of you young people are like, “Who is that?” Man, Mick can still rock today, what is he, about 92? Wow. Man, the Rolling Stones look bad, don’t they? If you ever wonder what living like hell will do to you, just look at the Stones. I don’t want to look like that. I hope none of the Stones are here. Surely they’re not. What? Well, we welcome the Rolling Stones, yeah. Come on to Fellowship, yes, yes. Where was I? What was I talking about? Integrity. Yeah. Yeah.
The walls of Jerusalem were all messed up. And back in the day, city walls represented something powerful. But in this context, they represented worship and freedom and community. Notice something.
Whenever we build anything, we’ll always face a battle. You try to build a marriage, you’ll face a battle. You try and build a family, you’ll face a battle. Try to build finances, you’re going to face a battle. Try to build a company, you’re going to face a battle. Try to build a team, you’re going to face a battle. Try to build a church, you’re going to face a battle.
Battles are everywhere. Thus, we must lead with integrity. And I’ve got to ask you something, does your walk and talk coalesce? Yeah, you say this, but do you do that? I mean, do you do what you say? I don’t know. Do you do what you say and say what you mean? I don’t know. Integrity, integrity.
How do you keep your integrity in tact when you get to that position? Over the next 5 to 7 years, we have a very, very young church. A lot of people who watch our television show all over the world are very, very young, the demographics tell us that. What are you going to do? Let me look at the camera. What are you going to do when you get the promotion? What do you do? It’s all about integrity. Integrity. That’s what Nehemiah led with. Integrity.
Nehemiah did what people said couldn’t be done. The boy asked King Artaxerxes for permission to go all the way back to Jerusalem and rebuild the city walls. Now, you have to realize a couple of years earlier, King Artaxerxes shut this project down, man. Some other guy tried to do it, and King Artaxerxes said, “No way. I’m not playing that game.” Nehemiah, because he was empowered by God, asked for permission, and the king said, “Boom, you can do it, my boy.” And the king bankrolled the whole thing and even gave him Navy Seal protection as he rebuilt the wall.
And over the last several sessions, you’ve seen us illustrate the struggles that Nehemiah went through. Because when you build something, you’re going to face opposition from without, and also from within.
Without – who did he face? He faced Sanballat, Tobiah and Geshem. He faced, you know, the Hater-ade boys. You know, just slurping down Hater-ade, it was dripping down their beards. You’ll always have people who slurp Hater-ade.
But now, oh, now we’re going to find out what happened behind the wall. Because yeah, I’ve talked about pretty much what was happening in front of the wall, the opposition from without. But believe it or not, they got involved in internal conflict. They were fighting amongst themselves, are you ready for that?
Nehemiah 5. They were fighting amongst themselves. They were battling and all into ridicule and they were wanting to just fight it out.
The wealthy Jews were taking advantage of the poor Jews. Are you ready for that? Here they’re doing this project; here they’re doing this God thing, here they’re building this phenomenal structure and they fight amongst themselves.
Is your family fighting? How about in marriage, are you fighting? How about in your company, you got some in-fighting going on? How about on your team, in-fighting going on? How about on the cheerleading squad? In-fighting going on? No, surely not with cheerleaders. They wouldn’t fight.
You’re going to battle. You build something, you’re going to battle. And the funny thing about Nehemiah was, Nehemiah comes across this whole situation, he has the discernment to see the battle, and let me tell you who tipped him off. Do you know who tipped Nehemiah off to the battle? Women. Women. Isn’t that crazy? Guys, women are smarter than we are. They really are. Overall, I said overall, they’re smarter than we are. A lot of the married guys are going, “Oh yeah, that’s right, yes, yes, that’s right isn’t it, that’s right.”
Now, I think, guys, we can concentrate on certain things better, like one or two things. But as far as overall intelligence, study it, study it, Google it this afternoon; I’m telling you, women are smarter than we are.
So, the wealthy Jews were taking advantage of the poor Jews during this building project, and then check out Nehemiah 5:1, this is a pretty funny verse. It says, “Now, the men and their wives raised a great outcry against their Jewish brothers.” I think that’s humorous.
Guys would not raise an outcry. Guys are like, “Oh, ok. I’m just going to work a while on the wall and then go home and watch ESPN, man. Everything is ok to me.”
But the women were like, “Honey, can you believe this? This is the worst ever! Junior doesn’t have enough camel meat for protein to give him the strength to go to school! And I just can’t believe these wealthy fat-cat Jews are taking advantage of us! And they’re just…”
And the women get the men all worked up. Then, you’ve got both going on. You’ve got the husbands and the wives. You’ve got the fathers, you’ve got the grandfathers. They are going on tilt because some bad stuff is happening, some in-fighting.
So, Nehemiah 5:1, “The men and their wives raised a great outcry against their Jewish brothers.”
Now what’s the root cause here? The root cause is, again, whenever God builds something, you’re going to have a battle. So, Nehemiah comes in, and Nehemiah does something. This is the first thing I want you to jot down right quick: Leaders refuse to lose the unity. That’s huge. Leaders refuse to lose their what? What? Unity. Yeah. Unity.
Guys, women want some men who will fight for the marriage. They want some men who will fight for the family, who will fight for purpose and direction. And those of us who lead, guys, girls, we have got to say, “No, no, no, no, no.” We have got to say “No, I refuse to lose unity.”
If there is dissonance, if there is disunity in the most significant relationship on planet earth next to our relationship with God, which is in the marriage, guys, we have to take the initiative to make it right. And that’s not easy. Man, that’ll mess you up. I’m talking about Christianity-401.
Does anybody want to go deep this morning? Do you want to go deep this morning? Do you? Anybody here? I can tell the people in the back want to go deep. They really do, they really do. Ok, I’m going to talk to you guys in the back. All right. I used to love to sit in the back. Man, the back, I love it, I love it, the back. The back.
You know what Nehemiah did when he saw this? He got angry. Read it there, it’ll be on the screens. Nehemiah 5:6, “When I heard their outcry and these charges, I was very angry.”
Nehemiah got very angry. I love Sesame Street. And I sang this song for you last week, I’ll sing it again. “Nehemiah got mad, very angry, very, very angry, real mad, very angry, very, very angry.”
When you see dissonance in the important stuff in life, you better get mad. It’s good to get angry. God got angry. Jesus got angry. The Bible says, “Be angry and don’t sin.” Anger is a God-given emotion. So turn to your neighbor and say, “Get angry, baby.” All right, it’s good to get angry.
But here’s where I mess up. Don’t take action on your first reaction. So I refuse to lose my unity, but don’t take action on my first reaction. I mess up and I go, “Lisa! I’m a…” “EJ, I can’t believe…” that’s when I mess up. Don’t take action on your what? First reaction.
Notice what he did after he got angry. He didn’t lash out, he didn’t beat their faces in. No, no, no, no, no. you know what he did? He thought about it. He contemplated the situation. Nehemiah 5:7, “I pondered these things in my mind.”
Leaders think, man. Leaders think. Some of the most productive time you can have as a leader is just to think. Hmmm.
Do you ever talk to yourself? I talk to myself all the time. I enjoy talking to myself. I really like it, just talking. I’m just talking it out, I’m just working it out. “I’m mad, very angry, very, very angry.”
And then I’ll talk about it, “I can’t believe that. I might just chase them down. I might… no, no, no, I can’t do that…” But I’m just thinking about it, I’m talking to God about it. Express your anger to God. That’s ok, he can take it. Read the Psalms. David did all the time. “David got mad, very angry, very, very angry…” Read the Psalms.
But he didn’t stop at pondering. He thought about the wealthy Jews abusing the poor Jews. Then, again, we’re going deep, Christianity-401, after he got angry, after he pondered them, his next thing is, he sought to make the situation right.
Oh, that hurts. Guys, that hurts. Men, husbands, that hurts. Because we’ve been given the responsibility to lead. Lead-her-ship. Husbands lift your hands. Husbands, husbands, husbands. Lead-her-ship. The Lord is the Captain, and you’re right behind Him. Your wife is behind you; the kids are behind her.
And some of the women are like, “Oh, wait a minute, are you talking about guys are more special than ladies, I can’t believe it, oh, man….”
No, no, no, no, no, no. Everything is equal at the foot of the cross. We’re all made in God’s image. Everybody is equal. All right. But certain ones of us have been given unique responsibilities and unique attributes and abilities. The husband has been given what? The responsibility to lead in the home. That’s why it says in Ephesians 5:25, “Husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church.”
Guys, we need to get our ‘as’ in gear. ‘As’ Christ. ‘As’ Christ. Lead-her-ship. And here’s what women will do. If you don’t lead, if you drop the leadership mantle; if you just kind of drop it, the women will just pick it up. They’ll just pick it up, man, they will pick it up.
So, are you leading the relationship? Are you leading with integrity? I didn’t say in perfection; no one here is perfect. I’m definitely not. Are you leading in that realm? Refuse to lose your unity. I won’t fight over a lot of stuff, but I’ll fight for my marriage, I’ll fight for my family, I’ll fight for the vision of Fellowship Church. You’ve got to be the same.
But most of us ping-pong back and forth between anger and pondering it. I’ll ponder it, get angry. I’ll get angry and real mad. Ponder it. And we’ll never go to 401 which is having a sit-down meeting with the people. Because our boy Nehemiah, he said, “Ok, come on you fat-cats. Come on in here.”
And here’s something about rich people that’s very, very interesting. Rich people do have one advantage over poor people. Did you know that? They know that money does not satisfy. Poor people don’t know that yet. But the rich people know that. That’s the only advantage they have. Hmm. That’s something to think about isn’t it?
Well, Nehemiah dealt directly with these rich people. He’s like, “Guys, what are you doing, man? What are you smoking? We are building this project, and here you are, trying to make a buck off the poor Jews – come on now. We can’t have any of that.” He stepped out.
Now, guys, I’ve got to ask you. Are you taking the initiative in your relationships to make your situation right? Because as husbands, every time I do a wedding, which is rare, no calls for any weddings. Husbands, you know what we’re supposed to do? We are to take the initiative to reconcile. Even if the lady is 99.9% wrong, we’re to take the initiate to reconcile it. And when I do weddings and talk about the husband / house-band. It comes from two Anglo-Saxon words, which means we’re to keep the unity in the family. Wow that’s big. That’s huge man.
That’s what Nehemiah did. He said, “No, no, no, no, no… I refuse to lose unity.” Are you a person of unity? You build something, you’re going to have a battle.
Here’s a 2nd thing I want you to write down. Refuse to abuse your leadership. You could say, refuse to abuse your position. Because I’ve been saying this over and over, there is no opportunity without opposition. And the cool thing about opposition is, it shows us this awesome position that God has given us. Thus, it grows us up, it matures us. And as we face the opposition, as we’re involved in leadership; as we take the ship in the right direction; as we face the opposition, as we face the rogue winds and the waves and the currents, we get to the destination.
Too many of us, though, are involved in, let me talk to the men again, leader-slip. We look at the opposition, we’re like, “Wow, look at the waves. Wow, I get sea-sick. Aahh!”
We turn the boat around. And we park the ship in the slip. Leader-slip. And we have that marina mentality. We can’t do that. If you want to go to the next level, you’ve got to be willing to say, “Ok, I’m going to face the battle. I’m going to face the opposition with integrity. And I’m going to do the stuff.”
And guys, let me tell you again. Our women are begging for us to fight for the marriage, to fight for the family, to fight for the right to lead and to discover what God has for us. Yeah, I’m going to clap for that one myself.
Will you hold the Bible for me for a second? I want to do a Celine clap. I like how Celine Dion, I watched that movie the other night. I watched that movie the other night. What’s that movie about Celine, her life, anyone, have you seen it? No one has seen it? It’s behind the scenes with Celine? Oh man, I was weeping throughout the whole movie. It was incredible. Thank you.
I need to straighten…. Hold the mic for me for a second. People always ask me, “What’s in your Bible.” Well, you can maybe get a tight shot of this, this is how I do my notes. That’s the offering, I’m going to talk about that later. Get a tight shot of this. See, instead of turning back and forth and forth and back and back and forth I just have it all typed out and, see, leading with integrity. So, if I lose my place which I sometimes do, I can just look down and go, “Ok, there you go, refuse to lose your unity. Refuse to abuse your leadership, your position.”
Don’t abuse it. And Nehemiah didn’t abuse it. Let there be light. Nehemiah didn’t abuse it. He met with these people, man, and he talked to them. And Nehemiah was a super wealthy guy. And he did not mess around with a lack of integrity. He had the right people around him.
How many singles do we have in the house? Now, wait a minute, when I say singles, I’m talking about junior high, high school students; I’m talking about the adult singles. If you’re not married, lift your hand. Oh my goodness, look at this. Let’s give it up for the singles. That’s awesome. Man, that’s great. We love singles. For 20 years Fellowship Church has had about 45 to 50% of our church as single adults. Isn’t that great? That’s great, man. Singles have energy. Fire.
Singles, please listen to me, I beg, beg, beg, let me get down on my knees and beg you. Please, please, please. Whenever you date someone, whenever you have a great friend, make sure you check out their track record. Make sure you take this word integrity and see if they have lived an integrous lifestyle. If someone does not have a past of integrity, it’s fine to love them and to say, “Hey, how you doin’?” maybe to have coffee with them now and then, but that’s about it. All right? The people that you date, the people that you’ll end up getting married to, need to be people who have a track record of integrity. So you could have missed everything I have said, but make sure they are people of integrity.
When I met Lisa years ago, I’m talking like 30, how many years ago? 34 years ago. Because I had grown up in church and heard the visions and values about integrity, when I looked at Lisa, I remember it, man, 15 years old, she had an amazing track record of integrity even at 15. Now, this also holds true for those of us who are married, make sure the people that you connect with have a track record of integrity. A track record of wholeness.
Refuse to abuse your leadership. And Nehemiah wasn’t going to do what the other people did who tried to do the stuff that he did. The other people they were messing people around, ripping people off. And the Bible says in Nehemiah 5, their assistance led the way their leaders led.
Nehemiah 5:16, “Their assistants also lorded it over the people.”
Your kids will relate to their spouse the way you relate to your spouse. The people you manage will lead the way you lead. What a word. Refuse, refuse, right, to abuse your position. God has given it to you for a reason, make sure you’re running with people of integrity. That’s why Nehemiah only had a few around him. A few that he could totally trust. A few, a few. The power of just a few.
There’s another one. Refuse to confuse your priorities. That’s another thing, leaders. And I’m talking to those who want to lead with integrity. And if you don’t, I mean, you can listen, but I’m talking about we gotta refuse to confuse our priorities.
Illus: This is a stool, right? William B Henson talks about this. A lion trainer walks into a cage, the number 1 tool he uses to control a lion is not a whip, it’s a stool. Henson says if you thrust this into the face of a lion, a roaring lion, the lion gets confused. He’s like, (roar). He sees the 4 legs of the stool and he gets confused. What do we do? We begin to build something, the enemy begins to battle. We begin to build a home, build a portfolio, build a company, build an educational career, what does the enemy do? Ha, he thrusts all these things in our face we get so confused, (roar) and we don’t know which one to go for.
The apostle Paul said it best. “This one thing I do,” that’s what he said, “This one thing I do.” Not these 47 things I dabble in. This one thing I do. So only do what only you can do.
Why are you laughing? Why are you guys laughing? What? Oh, the stool had dust on it. Ok. Beat it. Oh, it does! Maybe that’s why the lion gets scared. Maybe it’s not the legs. Maybe it’s the dust. Yes, it’s been in storage, yeah. Man, this stool has probably been around Fellowship for 20 years. This will be in the hall of fame one day. Lisa said we gave this to the church years ago. Used to be in our house – wow! That’s pretty cool. Let me see if I can see some dog teeth marks, I guarantee it’s ours. Yeah, there’s some right there. Maybe it’s a lion? Maybe it’s a lion. Anyway.
Too many people get lost in superfluous stuff, and they miss the best stuff. I’m telling you, so often the good is the enemy of what? The best. So, as a leader, we have got to say, “Ok, this one thing I do, only do what only you can do.”
What did Nehemiah do? Build a wall. He saw disunity, he fought for it. He took the steps to reconcile. He met with the people, confronted them – we’re not doing it anymore.
And then, as we keep reading on and on, Nehemiah did not abuse his position. His position that God had given him. And let me stop here and tell you something.
A person of integrity, who has a track record of integrity, knows where it all came from. That’s what I’m talking about.
“Oh, well, I thought up this idea for this company.” Who gave you the mind?
“Well, it’s me who can shoot the jumper like no one.” Who gave you the hand-to-eye coordination?
“It’s me who can paint like that…” Who gave you the ability, student, to paint or to sculpture like that?
“Oh, it’s me who can decorate like…” Who gave you that? Who gave you that? God did.
So, you show me someone of integrity, and I’ll show you somebody who gives glory and honor and reverence to God. And that’s a big one. That is a major one.
So, refuse to confuse your priorities. You want to be a 3-D leader? Deepen your reverence for God. I said, deepen your reverence for God. Deepen it. We’ve got to give him glory when we’re far away in the places no one sees in the private zone of our life. We’ve got to give him glory when we’re up front. Are you doing that? Because again, integrity lasts. Read the Scripture. People will attack it, people will oppose it, there will be conflict from without, conflict from within, integrity lasts. Integrity, a wholeness. Are you reverencing God?
Well, how do you know you’re deepening your reverence for God? Because it says in Nehemiah 5:15 right here, it says, “Out of reverence for God, I did not act like that.”
I did not act like these pretenders. I didn’t act like these people slurping down Hater-ade. “I devoted myself to the work on the wall.”
What’s the word? Stay on the wall. “What?” Stay on the wall. “Well…” Stay on the wall. “Well I’m not…” Stay on the wall. “I…” Stay on the wall.
2nd D – Develop your generosity. Oh, I just answered the question, and hospitality. Generosity. Someone who is a person of integrity is someone who understands the heart of God, there are people who are generous.
You know what Nehemiah did? Nehemiah had a mansion. He had a lot of money. He had a table that seated 150 people. Every night he had 150 people over to eat. And the Bible says, read the stuff behind the scenes, “The fires never went out in his house.”
And guess who picked up the tab? Nehemiah. Nehemiah. Leader, are you generous? Because your generosity shows your level of integrity. Uh-oh.
“Man, I’m integrous.” “I’m a woman of integrity.” “I’m a man of integrity.” Oh really? Let me see your wallet, let me see your checkbook, let me see your finances. Because someone of integrity, someone who leads in that is going to be generous.
Nehemiah was that way. Integrity and generosity go together like chips and hot sauce, they really do. Like peanut butter and jelly. Like gumbo and Tabasco sauce. I mean they just go together. So, are you a person of generosity? You want to begin this life of integrity, you want to lead a life that is all about wholeness, you begin to get generous.
And notice too, hospitality. Hospitality. Nehemiah was hospitable. 150 people came over to his house every night. The Bible commands hospitality. It says this. 1 Peter 4:9, “Offer hospitality to one another without grumbling.”
What’s hospitality? It’s offering where you live, who you are, and what you have to others. It’s commanded in Scripture. It’s offering who you are, what you have, to others.
I’m just offering it. Hospitality. So if you have a mansion or if you live in an apartment, you’re to offer hospitality to others without grumbling. Whether you’re serving sushi or soup, are you regularly opening your home for others? Are you regularly inviting others over? Are you regularly putting their interest and their needs above your own? It’s commanded in Scripture. And that’s why Fellowship is such a hospitable place. So many of you get this. So many of you are walking in Christianity-401. But again, it’s offering where you live, what you have and who you are to others.
The 3rd D, discipline yourself for eternal rewards. Anybody been watching the Olympics? Anybody? What are they doing? Man, they’ve disciplined themselves for those rewards, those metals, and those metals don’t last very long, but that’s what they do.
There will be a reward system in heaven. So, as you lead with integrity, when you clock out of here, you’ll have even greater leadership opportunities in heaven. If you abuse it, if you don’t do it, you gonna miss out, even in heaven, of the potential that God has in our life. Yeah, you’ll get to heaven, but when you’re there it’ll be like, “Man, I could have done boom-ba-boom-ba-boom, boom, boom. But I didn’t.”
Say integrity with me one more time. “Integrity.” Say it like you mean it. “Integrity.” The word ‘grit’ is in the middle of integrity. And that says it all. Grit. We need grit in this hour, to stand and build the wall. We need grit in this hour to get angry, to think, to confront. We need grit in this hour to have reverence before God to be generous and hospitable. We need grit in this hour to do what he wants us to do. Which is build the wall.
Let’s pray together.