Yes/No: Part 2 – No: Transcript & Outline

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YES/NO

No

Ed Young

June 10-11, 2006

Well, last time we talked about the power of saying “yes”. And yes is a very interesting word, a word that we all need to say intentionally and strategically, yes. There’s a freedom in saying it. Today I’m talking about “no”. When you hear the word no, at least when I hear it, I think about negativity. I think about finality. When you think about the word no, that two-letter word no, it just doesn’t sound that cool. Yes, on the other hand, sounds pretty good. No does not sound that great. But today, we’re going to find out that no is huge. It’s a major, major thing in all of our lives. It’s great to talk about yes, but you can’t say yes unless you’re saying no. And I believe we need to say many more nos to every yes that we articulate.

For example, people ask me often about my schedule or about the growth of Fellowship Church. They ask, “What are you doing today different today than you did 16 years ago? What are you doing different today, now that you’re 45, compared to when you were 28, when you began Fellowship Church?”

“Well, I do some things differently but,” I say, “one of the biggest things I do differently is I say no much more today, many more times today, than I ever said 16 years ago. I say no a lot.”

Believe it or not, I have even struggled with saying no, because for a long, long time I thought to say no you have to have all these excuses behind no. Like, “No, I can’t do it because my schedule is jammed,” or, “No, I can’t do it because of this or that.” And we come up with all of these flowery excuses when we should just say, in a nice way, no.

That’s why Jesus said these words in Matthew 5:37, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’

Now the context of this statement is huge, because Jesus was talking to these Pharisees and some other people. The Pharisees were very, very legalistic and they had come up with this intricate system of how to sidestep the truth. They didn’t want to tell the truth, so they began to swear by their bodies, swear by heaven, swear by earth, swear by the city of Jerusalem. Jesus steps up and he says, “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’.” Jesus said as a Christ-follower, our character should be so noble; our conversation should be so pristine and honest that when we say yes, we mean it. And when we say no, we mean it.

Think for a second about your life over the last seven days. How many times have you said no? Now think about how many times you’ve said yes. I would argue that we need to say a lot of nos because of a bigger yes. Yes and no fit together, so I’ve got to say no because of a bigger yes.

I’ve got to say no to some things because of a bigger yes regarding my relationship with Jesus. I’ve got to say no to a lot of things because of my relationship with Lisa. I’ve got to say no to a lot of things because of my parenting skills and opportunities with my kids. I’ve got to say no to a lot of stuff as a leader at Fellowship Church because of a bigger yes.

So no is really a positive thing. We think about no as a negative, but no is a positive. We say no because of a bigger yes. “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’” Jesus said, “and your ‘No,’ be ‘No.’”

It’s very interesting to peruse the pages of Scripture, just to check out all the different characters, because so many of them said no. I’m talking about the ones who really were in the sweet spot of God’s success.

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YES/NO

No

Ed Young

June 10-11, 2006

Well, last time we talked about the power of saying “yes”. And yes is a very interesting word, a word that we all need to say intentionally and strategically, yes. There’s a freedom in saying it. Today I’m talking about “no”. When you hear the word no, at least when I hear it, I think about negativity. I think about finality. When you think about the word no, that two-letter word no, it just doesn’t sound that cool. Yes, on the other hand, sounds pretty good. No does not sound that great. But today, we’re going to find out that no is huge. It’s a major, major thing in all of our lives. It’s great to talk about yes, but you can’t say yes unless you’re saying no. And I believe we need to say many more nos to every yes that we articulate.

For example, people ask me often about my schedule or about the growth of Fellowship Church. They ask, “What are you doing today different today than you did 16 years ago? What are you doing different today, now that you’re 45, compared to when you were 28, when you began Fellowship Church?”

“Well, I do some things differently but,” I say, “one of the biggest things I do differently is I say no much more today, many more times today, than I ever said 16 years ago. I say no a lot.”

Believe it or not, I have even struggled with saying no, because for a long, long time I thought to say no you have to have all these excuses behind no. Like, “No, I can’t do it because my schedule is jammed,” or, “No, I can’t do it because of this or that.” And we come up with all of these flowery excuses when we should just say, in a nice way, no.

That’s why Jesus said these words in Matthew 5:37, “Simply let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes’ and your ‘No,’ ‘No.’

Now the context of this statement is huge, because Jesus was talking to these Pharisees and some other people. The Pharisees were very, very legalistic and they had come up with this intricate system of how to sidestep the truth. They didn’t want to tell the truth, so they began to swear by their bodies, swear by heaven, swear by earth, swear by the city of Jerusalem. Jesus steps up and he says, “Let your ‘yes’ be ‘yes’ and your ‘no’ be ‘no’.” Jesus said as a Christ-follower, our character should be so noble; our conversation should be so pristine and honest that when we say yes, we mean it. And when we say no, we mean it.

Think for a second about your life over the last seven days. How many times have you said no? Now think about how many times you’ve said yes. I would argue that we need to say a lot of nos because of a bigger yes. Yes and no fit together, so I’ve got to say no because of a bigger yes.

I’ve got to say no to some things because of a bigger yes regarding my relationship with Jesus. I’ve got to say no to a lot of things because of my relationship with Lisa. I’ve got to say no to a lot of things because of my parenting skills and opportunities with my kids. I’ve got to say no to a lot of stuff as a leader at Fellowship Church because of a bigger yes.

So no is really a positive thing. We think about no as a negative, but no is a positive. We say no because of a bigger yes. “Let your ‘Yes’ be ‘Yes,’” Jesus said, “and your ‘No,’ be ‘No.’”

It’s very interesting to peruse the pages of Scripture, just to check out all the different characters, because so many of them said no. I’m talking about the ones who really were in the sweet spot of God’s success.

I think about Moses because Moses said no, literally, to the presidency of Egypt. He did it because of a bigger yes. What was the bigger yes behind his no? Moses led the children of Israel out of Egyptian bondage into freedom. That’s a big yes.

I think about Joshua and Caleb. They said no to a bunch of whiny, legalistic, backbiting, negative, mean-spirited Hebrews. They said no because of a bigger yes. What was the yes? To do God’s will, to face the enemy, to claim God’s land. That was their yes. They said no because of a yes. And their no cost them. And it cost the Israelites their lives. And it cost them a lot of time as they wandered around the desert.

Shadrach, Meschach, and Abednego said no to King Nebuchadnezzar. Why? Because of a bigger yes. They were true followers of the Lord himself.

How about Matthew? Matthew was loaded. He left a very successful accounting practice. He said no to that because of a bigger yes. The bigger yes was becoming a disciple of Jesus. And if you turn to Matthew 4, it talks about the temptation, the trifecta. Three times the evil one came to Jesus and tempted him.

“Hey Jesus, see the stones? Turn them into bread. You haven’t eaten for over a month. Turn them into bread, you can do it like that.”

Jesus said, “No.” And then he came back with the Word of God.

Then Satan said, “Well, Jesus, throw yourself off the temple. It will be an incredible, amazing feat—because after all, you’re God. You can save yourself. And when people see you save yourself they’ll go, ‘Oh, he is God.’”

Jesus said, “No,” and quoted Scripture again.

Then Satan said, “Bow down, worship me, and you can have it all.”

Jesus said, “No,” and again he backed it up with the Word.

Why did Jesus say no, no, no? Because of a bigger yes. And when you think about the yes, you’ve got to think about the cross don’t you? Jesus died for you and for me. He said no for that bigger yes all the way through the suffering, all the way through the pain, all the way through his death and then, ultimately, through his resurrection. So we’ve got to say no because of a bigger yes.

So just for the brief moments that remain, I want to challenge you to say several nos. And these nos are not exhaustive, but I’ve tried to lift out the no-necessities.

Do you guys remember The Jungle Book? That’s dating me. I told you I’m 45. The Jungle Book? “The Bear Necessities” Do you remember that? Well this is like the no-necessities.

DRAIN-NO

Here’s the first no that I have to articulate regularly. And I do this as I take a look at my life. I do it today probably more than I did 16 years ago. I call it Drain-no. Say it with me. Drain-no. I’m not talking about the Drano you’re thinking about, I’m talking about another Drain-no.

I love the outdoors, and one day I was with a friend of mine who is a former Marine. We were traipsing through this swampy area together, and after we’d gone through the swamp, I was trying to get the muck and the junk off of my legs. I looked down, and there was a large black, rubbery-looking thing affixed to my leg. I could not get this black, rubbery thing off of my leg.

I said, “What is it?”

And my friend, the former Marine, said, “That’s a leech.”

I freaked out, “Aaah! A leech!” I’d never seen a leech. I had these visions of this leech sucking all my blood out, me falling out dead, and my friend having to carry me to the truck. But I said, “What do I do?” And Biff, the Marine from Pecos, Texas, said, “Well, in Vietnam, we took a cigarette and burned those suckers off.”

Well, neither of us smoked, so we got a cigarette lighter from the car and he burned that thing off. And it felt good to get that thing off my leg.

If you don’t watch out, a leech can really mess you up. They literally suck the blood out of their victims. There are a lot of leeches in our world, relational leeches. You could say, “releechenships.” A lot of us have a lot of releechenships in our lives.

I truly believe the evil one puts about 4 or 5 leeches in all of our lives to literally drain us and suck the life out of us. They’re all over us. And we have to regularly pull the leeches out of our lives. If we’re not careful, we can spend so much energy, so much time, so many hours counseling them and talking to them and praying with them and reading Scripture to them that we’re just giving the most significant relationships in our lives leftovers. I think this is a great temptation for women. Women have a greater empathy and sympathy for people. They tend to listen to people more than men because men, we’re not as smart as women. So they begin to take on these “projects.” And they spend so much time, many times, with these releechenships, that they’re giving their husbands and their kids leftovers. And a lot of people don’t like to eat leftovers, if you hear me screaming.

Guys, we can fall in the same traps though—those draining relationships, those people who trip us up, those people who mess us around, those people who cause us to compromise. Releechenships. Who are you burning off of your life? How many leeches do you have right now as you think about your relational world, as you run through the Rolodex of the people in your life? Who are you systematically burning off of your life? I’m not saying you burn them. I’m not saying you diss them or treat them as lesser-than. But we have to move toward people who encourage us, who lift us up, who replenish us.

A friend of mine told me several years ago something about relationships that I’ll never, ever, ever forget. He said, “Ed, there are basically three types of relationships. And you should have a balance of these in your life.”

And he related these people to a car battery. I thought it was a brilliant illustration.

He said some people are just drainers; they just drain your battery dry. After you’re with them for, like, 30 minutes, you have nothing left. You’re like, “Oh, man, I want to stay away from him, I want to stay away from her. They drain the fool out of me.”

Jesus had some of those relationships in his life. We don’t have time to study it all, but he did.

Now the second type of relationships related to the car battery would be the neutral relationships. The neutral relationships would be those that are kind of even. There’s some drainage on your part and other person’s part, yet you feel kind of neutral when you leave the interchange or when you leave the golf course or leave the shopping spree or whatever you’re doing. You walk away saying, “Okay, I feel all right.” That’s just kind of a neutral person.

The third type of relationship is the one that so often we neglect, especially those of us who are in the ministry or who are in the people business. I’m talking about teachers and coaches and doctors and attorneys and so forth. The third one is the replenishing relationship.

[Ed walks over to a friend of his in the audience…]

When I’m with Ray, we click. Ray replenishes me. And when we’re hanging out together maybe we’re having espresso together, or eating sushi together, or fly fishing together, or just hanging out together—all of a sudden I look at my watch and think, “It’s 1 a.m.!” That is a replenishing relationship.

So regularly, as we think about Drain-no, we say no because of a bigger yes. We say no to the releechenships because of a bigger yes.

You’ve got replenishing relationships, neutral relationships, and, remember, we’ve got to have draining relationships. Don’t say, “Well, I’m just going to never to hang out with any leeches. I’m never going to have any leeches on my relational body.”

That’s wrong, too. That’s not biblical, either. But so often, leaders neglect this replenishing type of relationship because we give, and we give, and we give. And so often, nothing is left. So be careful to remember to have something left to give to the significant relationships in your life; obviously your marriage, your kids and those people who hold you accountable. Think, though, about Drain-no. Drain-no. Are you saying no regularly, relationally, because of a bigger yes? Drain-no, Drain-no.

TECH-NO

Here’s the next no—and don’t judge me. Don’t judge me when I say this, because I’m going somewhere great with this. The next no is Tech-no.

Technology is awesome. Let’s give technology a round. Let’s give it up for technology, because we couldn’t even have this experience today without technology. Maybe you’re watching this on Saturday; maybe you’re seeing this in Plano, or Uptown, or Alliance. Or maybe you’re seeing this here at Grapevine today. It’s because of technology. Praise the Lord for technology. We’re leveraging technology. However, technology, if left unchecked, can mess us up. And it can really rule us.

Here’s a little something I want you to think about: you may be controlled by technology if you make one more call on your cell phone in the garage before you greet your spouse and kids. Ooh, it got quiet. You might be controlled by technology if you take your cell phone, Blackberry®, or laptop on vacation. You might be controlled by technology if you check your email three times a day at home. This is a great one; this is the last one. You might be controlled by technology if you take your cell phone to and take calls in church. I have seen this occur in church many times. People take a call in church!

“He’s going a little long today. And it’s boring. Yeah, girl, I’ll see you in 30 minutes.”

So often I watch people exit Fellowship Church when the service is over and they’re on the cell phone that quick! Now, cell phones are great. They have their place. I love cell phones. But think about the people that you miss relating to, I’m talking about just in the context of church, when you jump on your cell phone that quick right after the service is over. Take a look at how many people in our parking lot walk to their cars while they’re on the phone. You’re talking to someone way over there, when you should be and could be meeting new people, not releechenships, but replenishing relationships. That’s something to really think about.

I’ve done a lot of funerals in my life. It’s kind of a sore subject. And funerals are tough to do. We’re all going to die. Whether you’re a murderer or a minister, I’m going to bet you cash money right now that during your funeral, during my funeral, a pastor, a man of the cloth, will read the 23rd Psalm. It’s a psalm of comfort, right? “The Lord is my shepherd, I shall not want….” That’s an amazing psalm. But there’s a new psalm out there; I don’t know if you’ve read it. There’s a new one that I’m going to read to you. This psalm was written by my brother. The New 23rd Psalm.

“Technology is my shepherd. I shall not want. It makes me lie down in front of the High Definition screen. It leaves me with incessant noise. It makes me feel significant. Though I walk through the valley of no cell phone coverage (Can you hear me now?), you are with me. My Blackberry®, laptop; they comfort me. You set wireless access before me in the presence of my family. You anoint my head with Bluetooth®. My email overflows. Surely Microsoft and Verizon will follow me all the days of my life and I will dwell in the database forever. Unless I’m inadvertently deleted.”

Isn’t that something? My brother has written a great book, I’ve just read a little bit of it, called Out of Control, and I encourage you to pick it up, because he talks about the balance of all of this. And it’s so interesting to watch people. Sometimes I’ll give these talks about technology, and I’ll talk about the balance of technology. And I’ll say that we have to be very, very careful with technology. I’ll say if we’re not careful with it, technology, which is an awesome tool, can become an ugly tail, and that tail is tied to in to a pit bull, and it will eat your life and mine. It’ll eat it up. And it can eat up even our connectivity with Christ.

So I’d just given a talk about the balance of technology several months ago, and I found myself I’m running, in my neighborhood, and I’m running along, just thinking about technology. Let me tell you what I had on while I was running. I had on an iPod®, a garage door opener, and a cell phone—while I was running! Am I the ultimate hypocrite, or what? That’s wheels off, man. We’ve got to say Tech-no.

It’s like these green shoes I’ve got on. I got these shoes off the Internet three or four years ago. And I had no idea they were this green. That’s why you’ve got to say no to online shopping! It’ll ruin you; it’ll mess you up. You’ll buy the wrong shoes, and people will laugh at you.

So what do we do about it? We’ve got to understand something. Many times we’re surfing hundreds of channels, we’re emailing, and we’re talking on the cell phone and doing all of these things because we don’t want to be still and hear God’s still, small voice. I find myself sometimes jumping into television land to watch a reality television show, to watch a fishing show, just to escape my own show. I get involved in another story to keep myself from thinking about my own story. That is where technology can get out of balance.

That’s why the psalmist said, specifically, in Psalm 46:10, “Be still, and know that I am God.”

There’s a correlation between stillness and knowing God. So what does that mean? I think it means we have to take some baby steps or do some things to balance technology in our lives. You might want to say, “Okay, I’m only going to turn my cell phone on during a certain amount of time, maybe during the work day.” Maybe you say, like my brother has done, “I’m going to take voice mail out and off of all of my phones, at home and my cell phone. It’s gone. I’m only going to check email once a day, or twice a day. I’m not going to talk on the cell phone when I’m going from the office to home. I’m not going to listen to any music while I’m driving in the car.”

Just find some silence; just think about to your story, your life. Listen to God. I would argue that technology has deformed a lot of our relational intensity. We have a hard time connecting with people now. Have you ever tried to talk to people who are all into technology? They have a hard time carrying on a conversation. And we can use technology, I can, as a big force field that keeps me at bay from the deep relationships in my life—the neutral relationships, the draining relationships, and the replenishing relationship with Ray. It can keep me from it.

So do you need it? Yeah, we need it. It’s great. We can do a lot of things with it. But don’t let it become a tail. The tail will be connected to a pit bull, and it will eat your life and mine. Be very, very careful. But I challenge you to think about your technology. And I challenge you to say no to technology. And man, I really need to hear this. I need to get this tape myself and hear that thing about technology again. Because I sometimes have the cell phone stuck to my head, and I could do a lot better job of listening and being still.

[Ed leads the church in several seconds of pure silence]

Isn’t that kind of weird? That was, like, 5 seconds, and we’re freaked out. What did we do without technology 15 years ago, 20 years ago? We had a little bit of it, but what did I do? I don’t know what I did. I probably listened to God more. I probably had deeper relationships. Who knows? It’s something to think about.

PORN-NO

A third no, a third no, and this no is something that we desperately need in our culture, like the Drain-no, like the Tech-no. This third no, if you’re keeping score, is Porn-no.

Now immediately, when I say porn, most of the women think, “Okay, it’s the guys. They’re the ones who give themselves to pornography.”

Well, women can commit pornography, for example, by the way they dress, and by the way they act. So we all have this temptation, this pull. And it’s interesting, because we’re ambushed by all of these sexual messages, 24/7. It’s hard to go anywhere without seeing some form of porn. Porn-no.

As I said last time, God invented sex. He thought it up; we’re made in his image. Okay. He’s given us the gift of sex, the desire for the opposite sex, and God has told us, from Genesis to Revelation (that’s the first and the last book of the Bible), to do sex his way. And sex God’s way should be practiced between a man and a woman in the context of marriage. But so often, we take a God-given gift and use it in a God-forbidden way. Lust happens when a God-given desire has gone haywire. I’m talking about romance novels, I’m talking about the soft-porn movies, I’m talking about many magazine articles and so many other things we’re ambushed with.

I Corinthians 6:18, “Flee from sexual immorality.

Now what does that mean, the word “flee”? The word flee, in the Greek, means flee! It means run! It means say no to it. We say no why? Because of a bigger yes.

And here is one of the awesome things about God that we fail to remember. And I think we have stumbled on this one as far as teaching about God and his nature and character within the church. Every time God tells us to sacrifice, every time God tells us to say no, he doesn’t say it just to say, “Okay, say no. And you’re going to suffer, because you said no.” He’s not a masochist. God says no because of a bigger yes. Every sacrifice that we make in the Christian life, every time we say no, every act of discipline, every time we do the hard things first, God is going to reward us and bless our lives. We say no because of a bigger yes.

Well, Scripture says, “Flee from sexual immorality. All other sins a man commits are outside his body, but he who sins sexually sins against his own body.”

I talked to a Christian guy several months ago, and here is what he told me about the sexual drive. He said “Ed, you’re a man, and God has given us this sex drive. It’s almost like God has set us up for failure. That desire is so strong in a man’s life, it’s like we’re set up to fall into the abyss of sin.”

I said, “I know what you’re saying, but that’s not true. That is a lie. You see, when we do sex God’s way, blessings will accrue. Yes, it’s a struggle. It’s a daily dying to our self. It’s a daily saying no, no, no, no because of a bigger yes.” But I told him, “The yes is marriage. The yes is one man, one woman—together in harmony. The yes is commitment. The yes it something the world doesn’t know.”

When you look at the whole world of porn, we’re simply taking a God-given gift and taking it out of context. We can look at something, we can see the airbrushed image, we can see the person, and without any commitment, without any relational work, without anything, we see a tiny picture of reality. And it’s not reality.

And the evil one gets us to compare, for example, our spouse, to someone we see, or someone that we interact with, and the comparison is totally unrealistic. You’re comparing reality with fantasy. You’re only seeing a small portion of this person.

So what I would challenge you to do is to say no, no, no, no because of a bigger yes. If you’re single, say no, no, no to those desires, because ultimately you can fulfill this desire in the context of marriage. And I’ll tell you something. This area is so overpowering, it is so controlling—there is no area like sexual sin. You talk to other people in other areas and they say, “Yeah, I’ve got victory there; yeah, I did that over there.” But when it comes to sex, it’s all-encompassing. It’s all-encompassing because there’s a physical aspect to it, a spiritual aspect to it, an emotional aspect to it, and a psychological aspect to it. That’s why when people have sex together outside the confines of marriage, and then break up, it’s like World War III. That gift should only be practiced in marriage.

So Philippians 4:13 says, “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

God will give you and me the strength to say no because of a bigger yes.

[Ed walks to the edge of the stage]

This is the edge and the ledge of sin, the edge and ledge of moral compromise. You don’t make your decisions, as I always say, on the edge and the ledge. You don’t make your decisions, yes and no, right here. You make your decisions way over here, away from the edge. You say no, no, no, no way over here. That way, if you do stumble, if you do fall, if you do mess up; you’ve not gone over the edge and the ledge.

What do you need to say no to? Porn-no. What do you need to say no to? That second look? That third look? That website? Those channels? What is it? Romance novels? I don’t know. We say no because of a bigger yes.

OH-NO

But there’s another no. I call it Oh-no. It’s the busyness syndrome that we have. It all relates to everything else we’ve been talking about. The busyness syndrome.

So many of us are over challenged, over stimulated, overworked, and we’re over the top! And the big mantra today is, “Man, I am busy!”

“How are you doing?”

It used to be, “I’m fine.”

“How are you doing?”

“I’m busy! I’m just swamped.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, I’m just busy.”

What am I saying when I say that? “I’m important! I’m busy! I’m the man or the woman of the hour.” That’s what we’re saying.

Don’t tell me what you’re doing; tell me what you’re not doing. Don’t tell me what you’re adding to your life; tell me what you’re subtracting from your life. Don’t tell me what you’re adding to your company or your workload, what you’re saying yes to; tell me what you’re saying no to. Because if we’re going to walk in God’s will, we’ve got to say no because of a bigger yes. And that’s tough to do.

It’s amazing how God will test us on this. Just the other day, Lisa and I got to invited to one of the playoff games. I’m talking about one of the big-time Mavericks’ NBA games. And I was so tempted to say yes because the seats were sweet! It would’ve been off the chain. But we hadn’t had a date night in several weeks. Our schedules have been kind of crazy, so I thought, “Ed, what do you do? Do you say yes to the Mavs and no to Lisa? Do you kind of compromise and tell Lisa that we can go together on this double date and see the Mavs?” Well, double dating went out with the junior/senior prom! Did you know that? So, I thought about it and I thought about the biggest yes, and so I said no. I had to say it quickly, because if I’d thought about it too long, I’d have been there. I had to say no to the Mavs game and yes to the date night with Lisa. And it was one of the best date nights we’ve had in a long, long time because I thought the date night through. I really planned it out. I didn’t just toss the newspaper in her lap and say, “You pick a movie, Baby.” I took the initiative. We went to a restaurant we wouldn’t normally go to, and it was great.

So, in little areas we have to say no because of a bigger yes. In big areas we say it. It’s like those lamps beside our front door I talked about last time. When we got the lamps, they were beautiful, they were pristine. But over time, squillions of bugs have flown into the lamp, and it’s this deep now with bug carcasses in the lamps. Squillions of them are in there. The bugs are dead. They’ve crossed Jordan—history, lights out. So the other day, I took a vacuum cleaner and just sucked the bugs out of the lamp. Well, how did the bugs get into the lamp? I’ll tell you. One bug at a time.

How do we mess up? How do we mess up? One decision at a time. One wrong no. We make those wrong nos, those little nos, and our lamps become jammed with bugs. And then the light is out in our lives, and that cannot be the case.

Well how about your schedule, though? Are you constantly saying no to your schedule? Say no to the good, because you’ve got to say yes to the best. That is a hard thing for me, and that is a hard thing for our church, because we have so many good opportunities. “Oh, that opportunity is good. That ministry is good. That is good! That vacation is good. Good, good, good, good, good.”

But what is the best? So often good is the enemy of the best, and we’ve got to say no to the good because we say yes to the best. What is the best in your life, and what is the best in my life? Well, I know what it is, it’s saying yes to God. It’s saying yes to God. We don’t say yes to God because of the benefits, because of the blessings, because of all the stuff that will accrue in our lives. We say yes to God because He is God. Because He is sovereign. Because He is holy. And when we say yes to him; when we say no to the good and yes to the best, yes, blessings will accrue; yes, amazing things will happen; yes, we’ll have wonderful marriages and great families and all that—but you’ve got to say no to the good. So practice this week saying no without any excuses, without any long, drawn out stories behind it. Just say no to the good and yes to the best.

But also say the Drain-no, the Tech-no, the Porn-no, and the Oh-no. Be still and listen to God, because amazing things will unfold in your redemptive story and mine.

Why do we have a hard time saying Drain-no, Tech-no, Porn-no, Oh-no? Why? That’s a great question. Why? Well, a friend of mine who is a Christian counselor told me this. He said, “Ed, be careful. Be very, very careful that you never become too tired, too lonely, or too hungry.”

Think about those three things throughout Scripture, throughout the gospels, throughout the life and ministry of Jesus Christ. Because whenever we get too tired, too lonely, and too hungry what happens? We’re susceptible, very susceptible to making dumb decisions. We’re very susceptible to turn our backs on God’s yeses and turn our backs on God’s nos and to say the evil one’s nos and the evil one’s yeses. So when you see people stumble down the staircase of life, when you see people go over the ledge and edge in many different areas, most of the time it’s a result of being too tired, too lonely, or too hungry.

When we’re tired, when we’re depleted, we’re very, very weak. We are ready for sin, ready for a quick fix, ready for an adrenaline rush, ready for a buzz. That’s why so many pastors that I deal with overspend, overeat, and are susceptible to pornography. Don’t get too tired.

Too lonely. We’re lonely. We have that hole in our hearts, but we fill it technology, and all this noise and all this music, and we forget how to be still and just listen. We forget how to draw away. We forget to take initiative in those deep, replenishing relationships. We forget because all of our relationships are just neutral and draining.

Too hungry. That hunger could be in many different areas. It could be too hungry because we’re putting the wrong foods in our bodies. Remember, the Bible says that we should eat well. We shouldn’t freak out about it, but we should eat well. It’s not about vanity; it’s about value. It’s all about a body for God. Our bodies are the temple of the Holy Spirit. So don’t trash the temple, don’t trash it.

Just yesterday I was talking to a close friend of mine on our staff, and he has been traveling a lot in the East Texas area, and he said, “Ed, it’s amazing how so many people there are overweight and eat poor foods.” We eat good foods so we can have good energy, to do what? To say yes to the best and to say no to the good; to say God’s nos and God’s yeses. Don’t get too hungry.

You know, when I think about no, the ultimate no, I always think about the cross. Jesus, as he was suspended between heaven and earth; as he was paying for your sins and mine, there‘s no telling just the intensity and the pressure that was all around him. And you know every demon in hell said, “Jump down off the cross. Come on. You’re the Son of God! You don’t need to go through this. This is too much torture, too much pain. The Father has turned his back on you, I mean, come on!”

What did Jesus say? “No.” He said no because of a bigger yes. And we are that yes. Let your yes be yes, and your no be no.